May 12, 2012
To daddy...
I had a dream last night.
It was shrouded in the darkness by the forest I was standing in. My bare feet standing on the moist ground. I tilt my head back and gaze at the large, thick trunk as the tall tree extends upwards into the sky. Their branches reach out like octopus tentacles, intertwining with other tributary limbs from nearby trees that are standing in their own solitude.
The tree limbs are tightly woven together. Swallowing up the otherwise bright blue sky. I stare at the thick foliage, trying to glimpse the heavens, but I am denied such an exquisite view. With such a heavy canvas hovering over me, it will be impossible to find my way out. I am lost in a hopeless place where darkness seems to be commonplace.
Do I stay, or do I venture out?
The underbrush is just as thick, which perplexes me that such thickness can grow under such frondescence. I extend my arms to feel my way but am too afraid to move. I push back, digging my toes further into the dirt. Planting my feet like roots while I go back against the tree. As I try to brace myself against the tree trunk, my body begins to fall back. Moss that has attached itself to the side of the bark catches me as my body settles in, softening my landing like an air mattress.
It feels comfortable. I close my eyes to sleep within my sleep. The dirt I am standing in consumes my feet, planting me in my position. I don't have the energy to pull them out, so I allow nature to take its course. My legs stiffen like a board, and I rise upright. I don't fight it. It seems pleasant here under the tops of the heavy roof. I want to stay beneath the herbage and deal with my umbrage.
My body begins to grow. Could I be rising to the occasion? My legs thicken and gain strength as my roots extend downward into the terra firma. The land beneath me seems cool and refreshing. My torso elongates and expands, fortifying my exterior. As I sprout, the growth takes on more momentum. The rush of the wind whisks by me as I force myself upwards at a fast pace. The growth lessens as I reach the low ceiling of my domed enclosure.
My arms take on a life of their own.
They reach out through the thick vegetation that has darkened my hope. They crisscross among the other branches, breaking through and allowing small amounts of light to creep in. The sunlight quenches my thirst and nurtures my rise. I punch through the thick overgrowth and extend outwardly. I am full speed ahead. Nothing can stop me now as my body towers over the forest, allowing me to see beyond the darkness and smell the fresh air. I try to walk, but I am stuck. My feet cemented themselves under the soil.
I wake up.
I'm lying here on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. My feet are no longer on the ground; I get up and firmly place them on the wood floors of my living room. I wiggle my toes as I stare at them.
"What a weird dream."
I look at my kids. They're sound asleep.
"I better sneak outside to enjoy my peace while I can," I say to myself.
I walk to the kitchen and open the refrigerator. I grab one of two sugar-free Redbulls I have left and crack it open.
The air rushes in as I pop the top, making that unforgettable sound all canned soda makes. I go to the back room and open the rear door. It swings open, and the morning breeze hits my face.
I breathe in deep
The air rushes through my nose, and I push it out of my mouth. When I step out, I admire the deep blue sky and don't take the moment for granted. That and the peace that my sleeping kids are affording me. I take a sip of my Redbull.
"Ahhh," I say after I suck it back into the rear of my throat. I hold the can out and admire it. I look back at my boys sleeping together on the oversized couch.
"I hope they are having better dreams than me," I tell myself.
I walk outside and allow the sun's ultraviolet rays to hit my skin, providing me with vitamin D. I'll take all the vitamins this morning. I think about my dream and what it meant.
"Maybe it meant that I may be stuck in my situation, but there is light; I just have to break through." I wonder as I take another sip of my Redbull.
I'll take it as a good sign. My boys will make it better. They are my life now, and I will do what it takes to make their life successful. In the meantime, I'll enjoy this quiet while they sleep and the sunlight this day has brought. I won't take it for granted. My backyard is big and green, and the only trees here are large royal palms. They won't darken this day. Their branches need to be thicker.
It will only get brighter.
With Love,
The boys
883 words
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