Late Night

April 6, 2012

The crappiest night sleep so far. I woke up on the lounge chair feet up reclined all the way back with both boys cuddled up next to me. It was almost midnight, I wish I'd turn into a pumpkin. I was able to get both boys in their own beds and felt relief that I had a moment for myself. I didn't know what to do. So I decided I'd take a shower. It had been a few days. After the shower I laid on the big couch because it can accommodate my 6' 2" body. I decided to finish watching what was left of the movie Gladiator that was playing on HBO.

As I turned my attention back and forth from TV to my iPhone I heard my youngest son "Baby" cry, proceeded with his bedroom door slam and a loud noise coming down the hallway. His silhouette appeared from the darkness and the bright light of the television illuminated his body behind him as he ran towards me. I saw in his hands the source of the loud clanking noise. It was the fire truck I bought him at Wal-Mart the other day. Baby had yet to let it go like if it was a wobbie or his teddy bear. He jumped into my arms and in doing so he kicked the missing remote that was lying next to me on the floor that I could not see due to the overall darkness. "Good deal", I thought "I can't be watching Gladiator now."

I noticed that Judd Apatow was appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon via Twitter, so I decided I'd watch that. My mind wandered and I thought of Jimmy Kimmel (sorry Fallon) because Mimie and I would watch him and laugh at his damn skits. Missing her and feeling the anxiety of her loss I decided to text her sister, Kim. She texted me back.

Mimie's family has been mad at me and disappointed since all this went down 3 weeks ago but Kim has kept the line of communication open to me and listened to me moan over her sisters loss.

The feeling of loss has tripled because I mourn for my boys too. I feel like they don't know how to mournThe over all feeling when I do could probably compared to a head rush when you get up too fast or dizziness from over exertion. So in between the texting, Baby, Twitter, and television I heard Nico waking up with small cries. I looked at the time and it was 1:16am. He too came running over to me, jumping on my right side and quickly falling a sleep. I had to stretch out. I needed just a little space. I missed the rest of Late Night because I was devising a plan to escape.

Finally, I scooted out from underneath them and ended up on the small couch where I had to drape my legs from my knees over the arm of the couch. Nice. I turned off the television and decided to sleep. But Baby had other ideas. Realizing I was gone he sat up. The light in the kitchen dimly lit the room so I could see his pale face. He crawled over Nico and made his was to me. I didn't budge. I let him curl next to me and allowed him to fall asleep. I looked at the cable box clock, the green light so glaring, and I saw it was 2:36am.

I slid out from him and the uncomfortableness of the small couch making my way back to the larger couch. My legs were like jello. The blood seemed to stop at the bend in my knees and my blood starved muscles below the knee weren't quite ready for my 220lbs of weight. So I crawled back to the big couch and found myself curling up next to Nico. Ironic. I tossed and turned and before I knew it I woke up and it was 7:50am. Both boys were laying on top of me. Time to devise a new plan for sleeping at night.


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Christopher Fusaro is the author of Captain Imperfecto.

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