Friday, July 31, 2020

Searching for Burt Reynolds

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Nico, Christopher, Blake and (Max)imilian at home. July 31,2020


July 31, 2020

I had Burt Reynolds on my mind the other day while I stood in the kitchen waiting for my morning coffee to percolate.  Just a random thought of a dead celebrity right before I left for work.  That’s a normal thought process during a pandemic, right? 

My generation did not own him, but I was a child and was able to enjoy movies like, Smokey and the Bandit, Stroker Ace, Sharky’s Machine, and then later when I was older, Boogie Nights.

Burt was the coolest guy I knew when I was a child. He had swagger, poise, and was suave. Burt made CB radios all the rage back in the late 70’s.  Everyone, including me, had to have a CB radio handle. Think, social media name. My CB handle was, Bandit 7.  He drove the coolest damn car, aside from a certain orange muscle car out of Hazard county. 

Burt wasn’t the first movie star to make muscle cars a must have.  That trend was started before the Smoky and the Bandit franchises. But you would be hard pressed to find a child, teenager or an adult who didn’t want that very sexy Pontiac Trans - Am he used as interference has his partner drove his 18-wheeler from Texas to Georgia.  And just when you thought the car couldn’t be cooler he added Sally Fields, a runaway bride, which enhanced the car and caught my adolescence attention.

I usually hear arguments about Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot's mustaches.  They were cool and all, but theirs had a fashion contribution to society.  Hell, I could add my dad to the list of fashionable.  He rocked a mustache nearly all my life.  

Burt Reynolds died in 2018 at the age of 82.  According to IMDB he blessed us with 184 movies and television appearances.  He had his own show, Evening Shade in the early 90’s.  


Burt was a product of the 80's for me. I have fond memories of the the 80's.  The music, television, movies, ect..  but the most selfish reasons I believe for thinking of Burt Reynolds so early this morning is that everyone I loved was alive and well during his heyday and my first memories of my family correlates with the memory of Burt and the movies he did.

Youth was king in the 80's and my parents possessed it. And their parents were alive and healthy. I can still feel the touch of my grandparents. His movies were a part of my childhood, like many of today’s stars, who have aged with me. Those stars are my parents age today. But man, oh man, the memories I carry with me as I age now.  When the good times seemed better and the bad stuff kinda fades away, as more time and distance fades and the future appears to be uncertain.

They say music can act as a soundtrack to our lives that will bring us back to simpler times.  Like a song being played on the radio, Burt Reynolds reminded me of a time when I was an innocent child. A child who wasn’t exposed to the chaos of life, especially in today's world that could hurt a child's emotions.  Maybe I can find a CB radio and use it as a time machine that will immerse my memories deeper into what once was a carefree time for me. 


Breaker, breaker 1-9. This is Bandit 7. I'm searching for Burt Reynolds. Is my childhood out there somewhere?  


Captain Imperfecto and newborn son, Max. July 26, 2020


 



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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Roads Are a Series of Zig Zag's

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A collage of pictures of my 4 boys.  Maximilian "Max", Blake, Nico and Christopher. (May 2020) 


June 30, 2020

Roads are a series of zig zags. Depending on how you zig, then zag, the results will indicate if you made the correct decision.

Traveling  in one place and traveling on a straight path to our destination sounds pretty ideal. No one wants heartache and hardships to define their life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I suppose that is what people say.

But alas, life will throw us a curveball, which will create friction and cause us to zig zag and end up in a different location.

I guess there was hope that one of the moves would lead me to add something good and beneficial to my daily life. I feel that sometimes I earned, even deserved, good fortune. I’m a good guy. Can’t I zig zag into the lottery win? I guess I ought to play the lotto to test my theory.

When pain and suffering is thrown at me, I have navigated through that zig zag dilemma through hardship and growth. I even started this blog and threw all my emotions out there for the world to see. Did I ever imagine anyone would care? After all, everyone has their own story of ups and downs, good times and bad times, shouldn’t they zig zag into a lottery win?

I don’t know how luck finds some people. Did they zig zag at all? Is there a future price to pay for his or her success? Was their work ethic better than mine? So many questions and not enough answers. I know this blog is definitely too much over thinking on my behalf.

I can tell you I get tired of building but then, I don’t want to stop growing. I enjoy my job, but I want more free time to do what I want. I’d like to travel more, but enjoy the comfort of home. I want to do less, but I’m motivated to do more. I like money, and wish to earn more. I like that path I travel, but I don’t mind if I have to zig zag into another direction.

Levels of growth. Paths to travel. High roads to take. Decisions to make. Experiences that enhanced my travels. These things have meant everything to me, and I understand my issues mean little to many others in my life, who have their own problems.  I also can't expect perfect strangers, who read my blog, to care
 about my road to perdition. But maybe with a little understanding about me the reader will understand how common our travels can be.  Hopefully you can empathize more about my personal zig zags throughout my life, and another person's life, while understanding that most of us endure the same everyday problems.  Then we can use each experience as teaching tools to learn about how difficult it has been to solve a problem.  I may not be rich unfortunately, a majority of us our not, but I can tell you that some paths travelled are worn because there is more that binds us together than that which divides us. 

My path in life has had a lifetime of taking off in different directions.  I may not have been born rich.  Or bred from birth to be idolized, and have money thrown at me for starting a trend.  Those worlds are what I would consider to be, la la land.  Dining with the rich and famous may not be in my future.  A book deal probably isn’t close at hand.  But all of us should be grateful that our personal zig zags have extended our travels, to be here, in this moment of now, because regardless of status, eventually these roads traveled will be zig zaging without us. 

Captain Imperfecto holding his new son (#4) Max while Blake looks on. June 14, 2020.


© copyright 2012- 2020 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.  

 



Sunday, May 31, 2020

I Stand Down, A note from the Author

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May 31, 2020


Since 2012 I have written a blog every month through now. Only missing one time. I will do it again for only the second time. In solidarity to a Nation in trouble and for people hurting. I stand down.



Picture courtesy:https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/open-ears-project/episodes/esther-perel-on-peace

 



© copyright 2012- 2020 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.  

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Voices

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Nico and Christoper masking up during this unprecedented time. April 18, 2020.



We all have a voice that should be heard. I suppose it’s alright to have music speak for us when at times we can't find the words that best expresses the way we are feeling.  But we shouldn't hide behind those musical words.  A person should speak up about their feelings and let it be known if something makes them feel right inside their soul and also speak out when something in their life has gone wrong. 

During this pandemic people can hide behind their masks and speak without their lips being seen moving.  If a voice is heard but the mouth isn't seen moving.  Did the statement that was made ever exist?  Point is don't feel brave to speak up because now you have a mask hiding your feelings.  You might as well stay hidden behind you online avatar. 

My children provoke me to use my voice to speak out.  "stop fight with your brother."  "What did you just say?"  "You better not say that again!"

I also use my voice to command an active police scene that is fluid and dynamic.  "Don't move!"  "Get on the ground!"  "I don't want a donut!"  "Yes, I do." 

My point is that I know when to use my voice when need be.  The tone, the inflection, the happiness or sadness in tone is as prevalent as an emotion written all over my face.  I suppose poker players know how to hide their facial cues best. 

There really isn't a reason to hide or guard the way you feel.  Of course, one is better off to heed the old saying, "if you have nothing good to say, don't say it at all."  And that may be the best advice to give someone.  I wish more people on the Internet believed in that statement.  But you won't have to apologize for voicing your opinion on something positive.  

One’s voice is their true self.  There is no arguing against who said it and why.  Sure, we can regret what we say, but we can always use our voice to ask for forgiveness.  I don't think we use our voices to apologize enough when we are wrong.  

I may not be an artist and express myself with an art piece or have the tune to belt out a song that would best describe what I'm going through.  But I do have a voice to vent out my frustration about our current situation and tell you that I am right here with you through this COVID-19 scare.  And if there is one thing, I can assure it that I will lend my voice to support you through your hard times and scary feelings and say everything is going to be okay.  


Take care of yourself through this difficult time. 


Captain Imperfecto and family on a road trip around Lake Okeechobee. (just a drive) March 29, 2020.


 



Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Coronavirus Way of Life

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Christopher and Nico enjoying lunch during a simpler time. We wish we could do this now. January 18, 2020.

March 31, 2020


Things are not normal in the world today. My day to day activities have been taken away from me and yet it doesn’t feel that way.  I attribute that to the fact that I'm in law enforcement so I am required to work.  But as my State locks us all down and self-quarantine marches on into April, and maybe beyond, that lock down will be all too real.  I am afraid, but I am obligated to hold it together for my family’s sake they are depending on me.  Sadly, Coronavirus will no doubt alter our way of life long after this disease is gone.  I can only pray that most of us find a peaceful resolution at its conclusion.  


I feel bad for the people I took for granted in many industries that are affected by this pandemic.  So many people we know rely on the food and retail service industry but most of us took those industries and those associates, members, cast members, staff, help, loved ones, for granted.  We complained about how bad the service was and argued about the appropriate amount to tip our waiter or waitress but, that all feels ridiculous now. We destroyed their reputation on Yelp and disparaged them on social media.  However, allow me to enjoy some subpar meat and watered down wine if it means I can sit at a table, other than the one in my dining room, and allow me to throw my hard earned money at the server who is waiting on me hand and foot.  They will receive 4 stars if that means I can go out and forget about doing my own dishes.

Walking down the grocery aisles at the beginning of this disaster, I marveled at the empty food shelves. Living in South Florida and preparing for hurricanes has nothing on what’s happening today regarding the stock left on the shelves. But food choices bu American's are very prevalent if a corporation is looking to rid some brands. Oreo's are gone, except for those thin things they push, and Chips Ahoy cookies sit. Regular spaghetti is plentiful, right next to the bow tie pasta but darn it where is the rigatoni?  Lots of tuna fish sitting around.  I can't find a can of original baked beans but plenty of the other flavors left.   And vanilla coffee creamer is the bomb, obviously. There’s plenty of Gatorade but what I really needed was Caprisun. Can’t find Doritos but there’s plenty of corn chips. 

Comfort food will always be best.

There really is no way to prepare for this pandemic other than staying home.  But most of us are finding that hard to do.  Couch potato, anyone?  Not anymore we want to venture out and find toilet paper before it’s all gone.  I believe it is a way for us to be normal.  A sense of purpose and well duty (pardon the pun) every time we sit on the toilet and wipe our butts.  Psychologists suggest this is a way for People to settle our own mental state in search of some normalcy by searching for toilet paper. Many people may not give a sh!t about their assessment.  

My grandmother always sought some kind normalcy at the grocery store.  She would call me up on the telephone back in the day and asked me to take her grocery shopping.  This occurred almost nearly every day.  And almost all the time I gave her a hard time about it and yet I took her anyway.  I wish I could take her now.  That would offer me a little bit of normalcy.  I miss and love you grandma.

I think I will just walk aimlessly around my house, open the refrigerator door, stare at what’s inside, and then close it. 

I don’t fear my kids catching Coronavirus. If you ever had one of your kids in pre-school or pre-k, you’d understand why I would feel this way. They’d come home with every type of the flu at least monthly.  One would think their immune system is impervious to disease. Of course, though this is just mindless banter.  I do fear COVID-19 attacking my children.  When I get home from work I have to strip naked.  Throw my clothes in the washer ( this makes my wife happy) spray my shoes with Lysol and keep my wife and kids away until I shower.  Embracing reality and not my family.  It’s not like my parents 1960’s shows anymore. 

"Hi honey, I'm home."  <dog barks, sun is shining, family greets me at the door>

Speaking of my parents.  I worry about them.  My father is a baby boomer and is stubborn.  I can't smoke?  He would ask as he lights the cigarette anyway.  At least my mom is in isolation.  In fact, I probably won't see her until the year 2021.  

It would be a shame for them to lead a long healthy life only to be taken down by a disease that someone mistakenly gave them because they didn’t quarantine themselves. COVID-19 has a 14-day incubation period. That feels a little excessive but what does Coronavirus care?

I think I caught Coronavirus. Me, a pretty healthy, strong, 6’ 3”, 250 lbs. man was brought to my knees back in January because I couldn’t breathe. I was 1 day back from Spain after being there nearly a month.  I was laid out. If I didn’t spend so much money on my trip, I would have gone to the hospital one night due to my shortness of breath. But I was too cheap to spend $150 on an ER visit. How silly is that? I can’t breathe but I don’t want to spend the money. So, I crawled in bed. Got into a comfortable position. Called out sick from work and didn’t move. I had high fevers and chills and trouble breathing.  I suffered greatly. Thick mucus in my lungs that I could not clear out no matter how hard I tried to push it out.  It would cause me to throw up and become lightheaded.  I could not take a deep breath; I was scared but a part of me thought I was too strong for this and I can make it through.  When I came out the other side 7 days later, I still wasn’t 100% but I felt better enough to get out of bed, refreshed. But boy was I dumb.  I will seek medical help if I feel that way again.  So, should you.

Could any good come from this?  Maybe while us humans take a break from the environment by reducing our carbon footprint the earth is going to replenish and the Global Warming deniers will take notice and realize there may be some legitimate concerns. When wildlife sense less human activity in their habitat they can return to urban sprawl that us to be theirs. Like the dolphins in Venice. Icebergs may get a chance to reform.  Fish could have a moment to reproduce and fill our oceans.  Birds can repopulate areas they were chased away from.  We can only hope there is good in that.

People are scared because who knows where the Coronavirus will lead us and beyond?  For now, we can keep up good hygiene by washing our hands and not touching our face. Wash your hands thoroughly for a good 30 seconds, wash them every chance you can. Sing happy birthday to me at the top of your lungs.  You're quarantine.  People won't think your're crazy, yet.   And shelter in place when you don’t have to work or buy necessities.

Keep your loved ones close enough so that they know you love them.  Love them by being 6 feet away, maybe add another foot to the rule simply out of love.  It’s better to see them from a far then for them to be isolated from you on their death bed.  Love is enduring, love is fleeting, love is forever, you will hug them again.

Remember that when this is all over and you rush out your door.  Take this life lesson and appreciate the things we have because your day to day activities have been restored to you.  But remember those that were not so lucky and appreciate it even more.  Because we have seen how quickly Coronavirus has taken everything we enjoy away.  

Love, food, family, life was taken away from us in an instant.  I suppose this is the Coronavirus way of life, for now.   

Be safe everyone.  Like and share my blog if you enjoyed.  




Captain Imperfecto and family taking a drive around Lake Okeechobee while self quarantining in our SUV.  March 29, 2020



© copyright 2012- 2020 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.  

 



Saturday, February 29, 2020

Faces Faded Away

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Christopher and Nico just outside of the Foreign Ministry of Madrid, Spain 
and the unknown lady.. December 26, 2019


February 26, 2020


The faces of the hordes of people that stampeded past me on the busy streets of Europe have mostly faded away now that my vacation is a distant memory.  But my photos and videos will help keep those faces alive for a lifetime.  Especially on the days when I question myself, “Was that trip only a dream?”

While I was sitting at home looking at my vacation photos I saw a picture of a woman who was standing behind my boys as they stood in the carousel line.  We were just outside of Plaza Mayor in Madrid.  Her demeanor caught my eye and my focus was on her not these kids of mine. Her body language told me she seemed annoyed.  Could it be that she was tired of holding her young son? Maybe she was fed up with the days events because it was late in the day and the sun was setting which made the area seem gray.  The shadows crept up along the walls of the Foreign Ministry building.  She was more than likely tired, like me and every other parent.

Her black coat was slightly undone. The fur collars flapped out from around her neck. She clutched her son against her hip. He has a slight smile on his face. His right arm slung around his mom. His hair is parted in almost the same direction of his mother’s hair.  Even though she was staring it felt as if she was participating in my photo.  My calls to my boys to look at me summoned her my way too. And although her face has faded away from my memory her existence speaks to me in my photograph.  She will forever be a part of our family because I love the picture and I plan on framing it.  

As time marches on certain memories of my trip will have faded away and other thoughts of my travels will resonate longer with me without the help of a photograph.  While I review my camera roll in solitude, I can’t help but smile at my kids for being goofy in one picture and annoyed in another. I snapped one of my beautiful wife who turned quickly so I’d catch the correct angle. My pictures are also of historic sites.  But I’m fascinated by the ghostly faces of my past.  Much like people I have seen in the pages of history books they too are long gone

The streets in Europe were so clustered with faces that the sheer size of it gave me pause and I had to video record it.  

Like extras in a movie they have all played their role accordingly in the photos that I consider my life. There is the tourist with his camera taking scenery photos and unflattering shots of things that I may not have though interesting, but meant something to him.  Or the locals with a glare towards a clueless tourist who they despise because he or she is taking up the space the locals use to own. There is a merchant with their smile as they listen to another tourist ramble about their trip as they eagerly await their payment. All of this activity is archived in my phone. The trip may be over and their faces have faded away but there is an impression on me they can’t take away. The faces are locked in my phone or uploaded to my cloud where they will stay until I want to reminisce about the things that I saw.

Europe is now a distant memory.  My trip of a lifetime will soon be in my personal history books only to be reopened by one of my children or myself, perhaps, in our quest to remember what it was like across the pond.  I hope when it’s my boys turn to reminisce  they take notice of those faces in the background because although they have faded away a lot of them are the reason that made our trip memorable.  I hope somewhere out there my faded face did the same for someone in that crowd. 


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Captain Imperfecto and baby Blake in Madrid, Palacio. December 29, 2019.

Mrs. Captain Imperfecto. Colmenar Viejo December 26, 2019


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