Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Goodbye Sleep

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Left to right: Christopher and Nico rest on our way to a boating island 


February 18, 2014

If you are having a child then you’ve already heard it.

“Say goodbye to sleep.”

At least, I heard that statement all the time hen we were expecting our first child. I really didn’t understand the big deal about this nonsense of no sleep. Have a kid. Kid sleeps for hours. Take turns with your significant other taking care of the baby while the other one sleeps. Go to grandparents, pass off kids, and sleep for those available hours. How can that statement ring true?

Boy was I wrong. Bye sleep, how I miss thee.

I miss you sleep. I need you sleep. I now see why teenagers just want to sleep. They’re saving their sleep credit so that when they produce kids, hopefully sleep will be out of their system.

The lack of sleep is even worse now that I’m a widowed dad. I just don’t get any more Z’s that I had after the boys were born. The sleeping is totally gone. And I want more of what I can’t have.

That fluffy pillow and comfy seven hundred count thread sheets. The cool as ice bedspreads that have been doused from the cold air of the air conditioner vents through-out the day waiting for my warm body to settle in for the day or night. The bed calls me from beyond.

“Chris,” is says smoothly and gently, “ Come to me my sweet. Lay in the covers. Chris,” it coos softly, “come to me. Chris you want me.”

“DAD!” My son yells.

“Holy crap which one is that?” I think, as I’m startled from my daydreaming.

“Dad, I want chocolate milk.”

“What do we say?”

“Please dad, give me chocolate milk.”

So much for daydreaming about the sleep I desire, kiss sleep goodbye Chris. I reluctantly go get the milk. Not that I want to deprive him of milks nutrients. It’s just that I just gave him milk a half hour ago. 

After I serve him his milk I can go back to daydreaming about that lack of sleep.”- I think to myself.

“DAD!”

Now my youngest sound wants my attention.

“Can I have some Juice, please?”

Okay, I’m daydreaming after this cup I’m about to hand him. I just can’t wait to sit in this chair and zone out.

“DAD! The movie is over.”

The sudden shouting jolts me from my chair.

“Okay, what do you boys want to watch now?

“The park, dad!” They shout in unison.

Well, we can’t be hermits in the house all day, goodbye sleep until we see each other another day. So I decided to get them dressed and go to the park. It’s the parental thing to do. The boys need exercise. Maybe I can just day dream a little at the park.

“DAD! Throw is the ball.”

So much for that. I never deny my boys catch. Maybe I can daydream in the car about sleep.

“DAD! Turn this song up we love it!”

They sing or mumble or something to the beat of the music. No more daydreaming, Chris. Say goodbye to sleep.

“Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I am sleeping with my cloths on
I came in through the window... last night
And your... gone
Gone…

Well things could be worse at this moment. The boys could really hate my singing but they don’t seem to mind. Sing to you later my dear bed, bye-bye sleep.


…It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living s**t out of me
The smoke alarm is going off and there’s a cigarette
Still burning”

Did they just cuss, I wonder. I gotta get my mind back on sleep. The good thing is that it’s six o’clock. Shower, then bed.  See you soon, sleep.

“DAD!”

“What? What is it boys!”

“Tuck us in bed, please!”

Oh, thank you Jesus. Sleep time for me. It’s so close my body is starting to ache for the mattress. I rush over and tuck them in. I pull the covers up to Nico’s neck and push the covers in to knock out the air pockets.

“Goodnight Nico. Mommy loves you.”

I walk over to the other side of the bed. My youngest son is hiding under the covers.

“Now, where is Christopher? Where is Christopher? Oh, there he is!” I shout and grab his legs. I then tuck him under the covers kissing his face all over.

“Goodnight Christopher, mommy loves you too.”

I got this down pat. It’s long day but now my reward of bed is right here. I slide in my covers and tuck myself in. I’m so relaxed. I flip through the television to find a good movie to watch. Finally I earned this sleep that will happen as the TV soothes me to rest.

“DAD! There’s a monster in the house!”

Ugh, goodbye sleep. 

© Copyright 2013-2014 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.
Song: My Own Worst Enemy
Artist: Lit
Written by: A. Jay Popoff and Jeremy Popoff
Label: RCA, Bitter 1999
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