February 18, 2014
If you are having a child, you've already heard about it.
"Say goodbye to sleep."
At least, I heard that statement all the time when we were expecting our first child. I didn't understand the big deal about this nonsense of no sleep. Have a kid. The kid sleeps for hours. Take turns with your significant other caring for the baby while the other sleeps. Go to grandparents, pass off kids, and sleep for those available hours. How can that statement ring true?
Boy, was I wrong! Bye, sleep, how I miss thee.
I miss your sleepy days. I need you to sleep. I now see why teenagers just want to sleep. They're saving their sleep credit so that sleep will be out of their system when they produce kids.
The lack of sleep is even worse now that I'm a widowed dad. I just don't get any more Z's that I had after the boys were born. The sleeping is totally gone. And I want more of what I can't have.
That fluffy pillow and comfy seven-hundred-count thread sheets. The cool-as-ice bedspreads doused from the cold air conditioner vents throughout the day, waiting for my warm body to settle in for the day or night. The bed calls me from beyond.
"Chris," it says smoothly and gently, "Come to me, my sweet. Lay in the covers. Chris," it coos softly, "Come to me. Chris, you want me."
"DAD!" My son yells.
"Holy crap which one is that?" As I'm startled by my daydreaming.
"Dad, I want chocolate milk."
"What do we say?"
"Please, Dad, give me chocolate milk."
So much for daydreaming about the sleep I desire; kiss sleep goodbye, Chris. I reluctantly go get the milk. Not that I want to deprive him of milk nutrients. It's just that I just gave him milk a half hour ago.
"After I serve him his milk, I can go back to daydreaming about that lack of sleep."- I think to myself.
"DAD!"
Now, my youngest sound wants my attention.
"Can I have some Juice, please?"
Okay, I'm daydreaming after this cup I'm about to hand him. I just can't wait to sit in this chair and zone out.
"DAD! The movie is over."
The sudden shouting jolts me from my chair.
"Okay, what do you boys want to watch now?
"The park, dad!" They shout in unison.
We can't be hermits in the house all day, and we'll have to sleep until we see each other another day. So I decided to get them dressed and go to the park. It's the parental thing to do. The boys need exercise. I could daydream a little at the park.
"DAD! Throw the ball."
So much for that. I never deny my boy's catch. I can daydream in the car about sleep.
"DAD! Turn this song up. We love it!"
They sing or mumble or something to the beat of the music. No more daydreaming, Chris. Say goodbye to sleep.
"Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I am sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window... last night
And your... gone
Gone…
Well, things could be worse at this moment. The boys could hate my singing, but they don't seem to mind. Sing to you later, my dear bed, bye-bye sleep.
… It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then, I kick the living s**t out of me
The smoke alarm is going off, and there's a cigarette
Still burning"
Did they just cuss? I wonder. I gotta get my mind back to sleep. The good thing is that it's six o'clock. Shower, then bed. See you soon, sleep.
"DAD!"
"What? What is it, boys!"
"Tuck us in bed, please!"
Oh, thank you, Jesus. Sleep time for me. It's so close my body is starting to ache for the mattress. I rush over and tuck them in. I pull the covers up to Nico's neck and push the covers in to knock out the air pockets.
"Goodnight, Nico. Mommy loves you."
I walk over to the other side of the bed. My youngest son is hiding under the covers.
"Now, where is Christopher? Where is Christopher? Oh, there he is!" I shout and grab his legs. I then tuck him under the covers, kissing his face all over.
"Goodnight, Christopher; Mommy loves you too."
I got this down pat. It's a long day, but now my reward of bed is right here. I slide under my covers and tuck myself in. I'm so relaxed. I flip through the television to find a good movie to watch. Finally, I earned this sleep that will happen as the TV soothes me to rest.
"DAD! There's a monster in the house!"
Ugh, goodbye, sleep.
806 words
