2017 New Year's Resolution

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Boys having fun before seeing Santa Claus. December 15, 2017.

December 29, 2017

Well, if nothing tragically happens to me in the next few days, like death. I have lived out another year. Goodbye 2017 and now onto the year, 2018.  Let the champagne flow into my champagne flute and may the confetti rain down upon on me as if I was swinging on a pole at some sordid strip club. Let the New Year’s resolutions commence.

Wow, 2018 is here and only two more years until this decade come to a close. It is already hard fathom a year coming to a close. As evident by the comments we hear at least half the year gone, “Man can you believe it’s Halloween already. Wow, Thanksgiving already? Damn, it’s Christmas.”

But I’m even more taken a back when the decade is nearing its expiration. At least I will be able to review it again when VH1 plays the television show, “I Love the 2010’s.” 10 years nearly gone. That is more dramatic than closing a year, like 2017!

What is great about this moment of my life, in this time, right here in this very second, during each key stroke of this sentence I can be thankful that all of my family and friends made it through the past year as well. For that, I’m grateful because if you have seen any news stories this year or have lost a dear loved one, you know all too well that it is hard to make it during a full year.

Reflecting back on the past year I know we will be showered with montages of famous people who died. Tom Petty, John Heard, Bill Paxton, just to name a few that had an impact on me during my lifetime, in some-sort-of-way.

But we should not forget about the horrific deaths in #LasVegas #Route91, The #Charlottesville Heather Heyer, #Texaschurchshooting, #FortLauderdaleairport shooting, #LincolnCountyshooting.

They say it’s good to age like fine wine. Aged to perfection and enjoyed once we maximize our peak. We will be wiser and have much more insight into life. Pop the cork, let it breathe and then chug what life is offering because you’re a wise older person. So with that sentiment in mind I do my best to live in the moment and taking sips of my aged wine and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I'm still honoring my 2017 New Year's resolution since it isn't over yet! 

When I’m not being narcissistic about where I am in this life. In this moment. At this second. I reflect on the family and friends who I lost in the past decades. Just years ago I could hug my grandmothers, talk to my friend, or have the birth mother of my children here to see those 2 boys grow. It is sad. Did I say wine? On second thought pass the whisky this nostalgia is killing me.

As another decade encroaches and with another New Year’s just days away from closing out 2017. I will live day by day and be grateful that I can talk to the ones here who also made it out of 2017. Trust me, there is nothing more hard on your emotions than talking to someone today and then they are gone forever the next day. What will make it much harder is a year from now when you reflect on the closing of 2018 you will not believe how normal things were in 2017 and how your whole life changed in an instant because you lost someone. All you will want to do it go back to the days when life seemed simple. Good health and good fortune is paramount to happiness. Good health and good fortune go hand and hand.

Closing out 2017 with sips of champagne is a fitting end to what you accomplished during the year. You will make yourself a New Year resolution about losing weight, quitting smoking or some other vice, or just being a better person. But when 2017 closes and you enter the golden gates of 2018 just make one resolution. Love, live and enjoy 2018 with your family friends until the last day of the year. You never know what is lurking in the months ahead and who you will remember the most because you miss them so much. The good thing is you can hug them and tell them you love them this very second. Happy New Year 2017. My resolution is still in effect until the very last day. And I resolve to live out 2018! Cheers! Here's to good things. 

**I know some people were distraught during 2017. Whether is was political, or emotional people didn’t enjoy this past year. But always remember. Your life matters to you more than anyone. Make your life a happy one because YOU are in control of that. 

Captain Imperfecto enjoying life. December 27, 2017

© copyright 2017 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.

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Christmas Miracle

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Christopher and Nico Christmas morning, December 25, 2017

December 25, 2017

*fictional story

Confined to my wheelchair I feel depressed and upset that I can’t participate in many things that people who can walk take for granted. The plastic of my seat sticks to my skin. I can’t move around objects without worrying that I will knock something over. And people just don’t know what to do when I’m around. Do they help me? Do they not help me? They are so confused. Yes, help me.   

Every year my Christmas wish is to lift myself off this steal frame and walk under my own power. What I wouldn’t give to feel the blades of grass tickle the bottom of my feet. I’m sure I would giggle. Unsure if it was due to the grass or the pure excitement of walking. Christmas seems so right to ask for this special gift because of the magical atmosphere around me. And yet every Christmas will pass and I know I will still be stuck in my wheelchair. But that won’t persuade me not to ask next year again.

Desperate to have my wish come true I went to see the mall Santa. I told him “all I want to do is walk for a brief moment.”

He said, “ well young man, Santa can’t work miracles but I sure will try to accommodate you.”

But years went by and it never happened. Once I thought my wish wouldn’t count because I wasn’t actually sitting on his lap. So the very next year I went back to see that mall Santa and demanded that his elves pick up out of my chair and place me on his lap. “Santa cannot work miracles,” he quipped, “nevertheless I will try again. I don’t want to disappoint you. Although I think ultimately you can only be disappointed with me.”

I left my mall Santa sad and depressed. I wheeled my chariot down the sidewalk onto 23^rd Street and with all my strength wheeled up to the top of Katherine Bridge. I did not expect to come back. I stopped my wheelchair close to the edge. The water did no move or even ripple. It as if the powerful river held it’s breath. Not ready for another jumper. “It’s okay water,” I said. “I can’t even jump.”

Staring at the black water below me I thought that no one or anything was going to help me. There was no such thing as a miracle to make things better for me. The air was cool and crisp. My ears felt as numb as my legs. It was so cold. Christmas Eve was happening without me. Another year in this chair. I can’t bear it.   The black sky gave way to a glimmer of something shinning from the top down. I

“What are you doing there any of the bridge,” of voice spoke to me in the cool breeze.

“Oh I don’t know. Just thinking. Thinking about my life.”

“What are you thinking about?” The subtle little boys voice asked. 

I looked around trying to find out where the mysterious voice was coming from and up in the rafters of the bridge amongst the twinkling lights of the far out stars there was a miracle of Christmas. I knew who it was. The voice was the one thing I had longed to hear me through all my prayers.

The miracle of Christmas wasn’t really a shape or form. I just felt peace and serenity surround me and all of a sudden I felt safe. This mysterious voice came a long way from the spirit of Christmas up from above in the land of Christmas.

“I really want to walk,” I started. “I want to take advantage of what people take for granted everyday. Every year I wish and pray to stand on my own legs. And every year I don’t get it.”

“This will make you life complete?”

“It would be a start.”

The wind twirled around me rapidly like a tornado. Like hands the wind lifted me out of the chair and spun me around. Night turned to day. I was walking amongst the people. I  was dancing on the water. Running on the riverbanks. I floated in the air as my toes danced on the grass below. My footprints were left in the sand. A trail of one foot after another footprint tracked my path of pure ecstasy.

“Are you in pure joy?” the voice of Christmas asked.

“Yes,” I shouted with glee.

“Did you the laughter of the children as you strolled through the park?”

“No.”

“The wind blowing off the lake onto your face as you stood on that riverbank.

“Did you taste the eggnog as you sipped it at the party? Or enjoy the candy cane when you walked through the Christmas tree lot? Did you watch the waves of the ocean fill in your footprints as the water flowed onto the shore?

This walking is a one-time event. This is your Christmas miracle. But it only last for this day. But sadly you will return to where your place is at this time of your life. Miracles don’t last forever.”

I was sad. This wasn’t going to last. But I realized all the things that I had but took for granted. The Christmas miracle woke me up to what I had forgotten. I may be stuck in a wheelchair but there was so much I could do. Even in my chair. I just had forgotten to pay attention. I was so angry at everything else I failed to see what I had.

I was whisked back to my chair. And my Christmas miracle was over. I wheeled myself away from the edge of the bridge and allowed gravity to roll me down to the bottom. I had a new perspective of life and I was happy I was able to live again to see another Christmas.

Captain Imperfecto feeling pretty good at the Christmas Party I hosted, December 23, 2017

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, 2017!

© copyright 2017 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.

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