Left to right: Christopher, Captain Imperfecto and Nico on Disney's monorail
April 11, 2013
So I knew I had to start somewhere in this life. Even if where I started would begin on some random day of the week during any month of the year. I knew a day would come where I would test the waters of dating. I had finally begun to pick myself up off the ground. Brush off the dirt from my clothes, bandage my skinned knees. I thought I had begun to mend my broken heart.
But I was wrong. Way wrong. That or I just chose the wrong person as a first date.
I had started a friendship a few weeks ago with a girl (this is so high school) and decided that I would attempt my first try at dating, with her (science experiment). We talked on the phone (like teenagers) and like the rest of the world exchanged text messages (like juveniles). So I was pretty comfortable that she was normal. As I am sure she was relieved to know that I was almost just as normal (case in point, we didn't have cooties).
I was excited about the date because for the first time in a while I would have to dress up in a tuxedo as if this was going to be our prom. I even joked that she was just getting me dressed up so that I could maitre d' her friends exclusive black tie affair. But joking aside, I was excited to go! And if it was the latter at the very least I would make some money.
It was fun to pick out my $102.00 rental tuxedo. I didn't know if I should choose the black and
I decided that it would be easier for me to get dressed at her place and not drive all the way over in my rental outfit. I had a reputation to protect. I got to my date’s house early to change out of my street clothes and into my more, gentleman attire.
She had a lovely home. She gave me a tour and showed me the area in the backyard where I could change into my clothes. I understood how she felt; she didn’t want a strange naked man running around her house. I guess I shouldn’t have assumed that I should have gotten undressed as soon as I walked in.
After I watered her begonias to relieve my verves, I immediately got dressed into my penguin outfit. And of course I got dressed In her house, I was just kidding...about getting dressed outside.
The tux looked great on me, I do have to admit. I wore it well. Well meaning beyond any prom or school function that I attendant in my teenage youth. Hell I looked good enough for the Academy Awards. She was going to be lucky to have me on her arm. Ok a little coincided I understand as you read on I know but I embellish a little. I’m just trying to build up my confidence because I had some jitters going on.
My date wore her dress well and immediately I knew I was out of my league. I was definitely playing in the little leagues. I had to find my A game and I had to find it quick before she figured out the she was just with a minor leaguer.
The date started well, for the couple that was getting married that is. I was still nervous that I was over dressed for the event but upon entry into the church I realized I could “hang with the other fellas.”
The groom’s ushers escorted me down the isle until I realized the ushers were supposed to escort the female dates. We were in mid walk and I didn’t want to stop our coordinated effort to walk in unison so I looked back to make sure she was following close behind.
The wedding went well. The bride was beautiful and it appeared the groom was sure, she was the one. Once he kissed his now, anointed bride, he turned to the audience and gave his bride a high-five. They walked the opposite way to the back of the church. As the groom walked by I gave him a thumbs up. As they walked by me the groom made eye contact with me, I could tell right away he was wondering…who the hell I was.
We made our way to the Yacht Club for the reception. My date looked great in her stunning green dress. It was a great compliment to her olive tone skin. Her Italian roots showing proudly.
We laughed and drank and danced and drank and laughed and stumbled and fell and drank and then the rest was a blur. But I felt good about the night even though I found myself dancing by myself at the end of the night to some 80’s Careless Whisper, sad, because the date would end on a bad note.
But it is okay I got out and made friends who were sitting at our table. One was a financial advisor so I got good stock tips. Another was a food blogger so I learned about great food, a nice lady who was an antiques dealer taught me about fine art.
So overall it was a good night but Cinderella’s carriage would soon turn into a pumpkin and I was back in fantasyland.
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The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto/Born Again by Christopher P. Fusaro is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at christopherfusaro.blogspot.com.
