Christopher (left), Captain Imperfecto, Nico Training Grounds
February 23, 2015
My face is changing. When did I morph into this thing I
stare at the mirror everyday? The only things in this world that doesn’t notice
my changing are my kids and my dogs. To them, I will live forever.
I remember when my parents seemed invincible.
Until one day, when I was about 10, I discovered that all things, die. You see we had a beautiful dog, an Afghan dog, named, Raja. One day after arriving home from elementary school I saw Raja lying down in the green grass of the backyard. In fact he was sleeping in the greenest spot of the entire yard. However, he never came to great me when I walked in the door. He never walked into the kitchen to lick up the crumbs that fell off my afterschool snack. Oddly, Raja was ignoring me. I walked towards the large sliding glass doors. I pressed my head against the glass and peered at my dog behind my imaginary force field. Slowly I tapped on the glass hoping the "ting" noise would grab his attention.
But there was still no movement.
Until one day, when I was about 10, I discovered that all things, die. You see we had a beautiful dog, an Afghan dog, named, Raja. One day after arriving home from elementary school I saw Raja lying down in the green grass of the backyard. In fact he was sleeping in the greenest spot of the entire yard. However, he never came to great me when I walked in the door. He never walked into the kitchen to lick up the crumbs that fell off my afterschool snack. Oddly, Raja was ignoring me. I walked towards the large sliding glass doors. I pressed my head against the glass and peered at my dog behind my imaginary force field. Slowly I tapped on the glass hoping the "ting" noise would grab his attention.
But there was still no movement.
I opened the door and stood at its threshold. I was
so naïve, so ignorant, to the death of my dog. He was just sleeping, right?
I slowly walked towards him while I called his name, “Raja,
come here, Raja,” I said as I clapped my hands.
He never popped his head up.
I stood over him and stared. I was a ten-year-old boy and I
was so confused. So dumb to realize he was gone. So innocent to think we lived
forever. Why wasn’t my dog answering me?
I knelt down and stroked his long flowing white hair. But he
didn’t react. I was puzzled. This had never happened to me. Raja was my best
friend. I had no friends, only him. My dog, he was my best friend.
“Raja?” I said. My voice with a little more curiosity in its
inflection.
But Raja did not react to me. He did not look at me. He did
not speak to me. He was gone. Gone forever. Dying while I was at school. Lying
in the green pasture of our backyard as I laughed and played kick ball during
school recess. My best friend had died.
When my father came home he explained death to me. He told
me that Raja, like humans live life and when the time for living is done we
move on and leave our bodies forever. But he said most importantly they live
forever in our hearts.
I was afraid for weeks that I would die any day now. Even
worse I was afraid my dad, who was once the most invincible of all would die
before I could say good-bye. Late at night I would sneak into his room and
slowly run my hand on his chest until I felt his heartbeat. When I was assured
he was alive I would fall asleep along side of him. I would dream of happy
thoughts because we would live to see another day together.
I’m getting older and so are my dad and my mom. I appreciate
all things my father and mother has done for me and my brothers and sister. I
can appreciate them for who they are and have always been: hardworking people
who did the best they could with what life had given them.
My dog taught me about death and the hard lessons associated
with the finality of it. But as I age my parents will always see me as they did
as a child: an invincible kid with my whole life in front of me. I was wrong to
think that my kids and dogs are the only ones in my life who don’t notice my
changing face because to my parents, as for me and my boys, I (they) will
forever be that little boy(s) they (we) brought into this world.
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