Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Porridge and Oreos

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Nico (left) and Christopher at a State Fair

February 17, 2016


I try to do my best as a father for my two sons. Parenting is so damn difficult sometimes. Everyday I try and find the right way to make my children understand what is the best for them. I’m in a perpetual state of Goldielocks in the book of the Three Bears while attempt to find what is just right for my sons’.

Nico says sorry all the time. Even when he did nothing wrong. I used to do that when I was younger. I hate that he does that now. “No, Nico don’t be sorry unless you actually did something you aren’t suppose to do,” I lecture.

Nico is so giving and sharing. Just like me. I don’t want him to be totally like me. Now think back to when you were a child. Did you try and please everyone? I sure did. Let’s take a look back on one incident shall we? I remember it well. I was in first grade, Reagan was about to win, the 80's were about to born and I and my friends…

Were sitting in the cafeteria lunchroom enjoying our lunch. The lunchroom seemed so big back then and the ceiling so damn tall. We sat on our assigned class benches talking about what 6 year olds of that time did. Saturday morning cartoons and the new break dancing club that was started.

The auditorium/cafeteria was loud. Two hundred little kids talking louder than the next. Our voices coming together in a single chorus ringing out like a bell dinging from the highest towers. Even as us kids shoved food down our throats, that didn’t stop the constant chatter. I can’t believe nobody choked to death.

My father qualified for reduced lunches for the four of us but there were times I brought my own lunch. I was so excited. My mom has just bought me a Black Hole tin lunchbox. It had cool movie graphics, a metal latch and an amazing thermos that attached on the inside. My peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chips and Oreo cookies snugged up nicely against it.

My friends and I talked about how grueling our math was now that we were doing double-digit addition and memorizing are times tables. Hey, that’s a big deal for young kids. I wasn’t too thrilled about bringing my lunch to school. The shiny new lunchbox paled in comparing to the tostados the other children were feasting on. But nonetheless I was happy. I had my Oreo’s.

I ripped open the bag. I assume zip lock bags were difficult for everyone? The cookies fell out of the bag and scattered on my napkin below. Six glorious cookies stared back at me. I couldn’t wait.

“Chris, is that an Oreo,” a cunning fellow 6 year old said.

“Yes.”

“Can I have one?

“Well, umm…”

“Come one. Just one.”

“Yes I want one too!”

“Me too.”

The other kids jumped in and I passed them out not counting my dwindling supply until it was too late. I gave all my Oreo’s a way. I just stared at my napkin. The black crispy cookie shell was all that stood out on the white backdrop of my napkin. I don’t know why but tears started to come out. As I cried in my hands I heard someone ask.

“Why is he crying?”

“I think he gave away all his cookies,” the girl replied.

“Well,” the little boy replied back as he licked the white center filling, “he shouldn’t have given them all away.”

The incident as followed me all my life. I didn't know such a menial incident should pop every now and again. I suppose it is a thought that infiltrates my mind when I feel taken advantage of, even if it was of my own doing.

I want my boys to know that at times it’s okay to say no when they don’t want to do something. Yes when they truly mean it and to let go and move forward without saying “sorry” if they truly did nothing wrong to have to apologize in the first place.

All this time I’m looking for the right porridge when I should really be teaching them to keep track of their Oreo’s because that’s where their happiness may lie.


Captain Imperfecto training at the range

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