Friday, March 29, 2013

Finding Hope

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Left to right: Nico, Captain Imperfecto, and Christopher at the Magic Kingdom

March 29th, 2013

Getting my life together hasn’t been easy but I’m trying. I have been evolving with what I have learned through my own life and experiences. In-which we all should do as we grow physically, mentally and spiritually. And the one thing that I have learned is that I can’t feel sorry for myself. But sometimes it’s just hard- damn hard, not to allow those feelings of hopelessness to seep into my mind.


Whether it’s a song on the radio that reminds me of an occasion in my life or a tune that reminds me of better days, I never know what can trigger my mind to reminisce into the past of what once was for me and the things that will never be again. 

But you fight on to better times and make new memories while never forgetting the trials and tribulations, the good times and bad times of what got you to where you are now, in this time and place of your life. It is a will within you that you have to summons from the under belly of despair and fight through your destructive behavior before you destroy everything that has been keeping you sane this far. 

My foundation has been my children from which I have began to rebuild some sort of life I once had. The ground is still shaky and the frame of my new life is teetering on the verge of disaster or success and it’s a constant balancing act when it comes to keeping my forward progress together. 

You would think that I was a recovering addict with all this will power that I have to gather in order to support my foundation so that I can continue on with better days. Each of us has something that challenges us physically and emotionally and yet, we get through it and survive, to take on the next challenge. And as sure as you are reading this, we seem to get through it, making life work after facing the great challenges of our life.

I feel like a broken man at times. A broken man that sees his life around him and it is distorted in the
reflection of a splintered mirror. However it only takes one whole piece of shattered mirror to reflect the bigger picture back towards the real me and it will enlighten me and tantalize my senses that I am part of the bigger picture of being responsible for my true prosperity. That vision clearly shows that I’m here, in the now, and I am alive. The sight before me displays a man of good will and compassion and it makes me sigh with relief that there is hope for better days ahead. 

With the thought of good things that lie ahead for me, I push out the stale air that refuses to leave my body, like toxic waste, leaving my bowels. I inhale allowing the cool fresh air to stimulate my senses, touching my soul, so it will remind me that I am alive. The blood flows into my organs and it reinvigorates me to the point that I want to the shout to the world. But shout what?

I have a voice and I can hear it within me. I want others to know that I understand that in life, we all have a purgatory that we deal with and at times we feel that there is no way out. But you must search for that way out, without allowing yourself to give in to the temptation of defeat. We are all important people in this world with so much to offer other people who thirst for someone else's wisdom and interpretation of life that will inform them things will be alright. 

I see hope out there in this world. I find hope in the little things in life that bring joy and happiness to me and the ones I surround myself with. I write with hope so that you may gain insight into what drives me through another day. Where’s your hope?





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The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto/Born Again by Christopher P. Fusaro is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Based on a work at christopherfusaro.blogspot.com.