June 9th, 2012
Among the weeps and sorrow I hear the last words that lay me down to sleep, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
The words echoing into my brain as I slowly fade to black.
My soul rises out of its integument, leaving its carriage behind. I hover above myself as I absorb the life of those around me.
My energy quickly evaporating in thin air as I say goodbye to the carcass that is now empty, soul less. Just remnants of who I once was and who I’ll never be again. My noumenon bouncing around the walls I playfully celebrate my freedom. I pass through my love ones breathing life into their sorrows supplying them with vitality and strength. My essence begins to dissipate but I leave the gift of love as I journey into the heavens.
I move across the bright sky, that even in night, is illuminated by the light that radiates from my aura. I am free as a bird, all my worries left behind. My journey will continue on, but not here not now.
My climb continues above the earth, but not at the speed of light nor the speed of sound. My ascend is slow and deliberate, taking one last glance before I evaporate into the atmosphere. My last look back, I must move forward now and leave behind a life and love that was worth living, as I leave behind the ones whose time has not come.
My spirit becomes energized from within the person I once was, it reinvigorates my vivacity, that had seemed to elude me, before my dissolution. I move closer to space with nothing but time to reflect on the ones I left to mourn me. The beauty in their eyes, the dignity in their spirit, and the love in their hearts. My soul languishes for them knowing that they will never feel this free until their own peregrination into Elysium beckons them.
The blue sky fades to black, as I reach the darkness of outer space. I’m in a vacuum, sucking me towards the stars. I quickly move past the blue horizon, leaving the earth behind. On my way to another world. I don’t need to see behind me to know how small we truly are and who I left behind. I look forward knowing we are meant for greater things, once our time on earth has passed. I am not sad, I am relieved. There is another day, beyond our darkest ones.
My soul is invigorated with strength and power, producing a glow that is brighter then the closest star, my phosphorescence putting on a light show for the people down below, as I move across worlds into my heavenly place. Moving beyond the limits of space, I break through the nebulae of the Interstellar Medium of light, produced by the closest burning star, breaching the ultraviolet illumination of red and blue, that adds color to space's black canvass.
My search for divinity is almost complete, as I pass the outer limits of the galaxy, beyond the deepest imaginations of those on earth and surpassing the written word, as I make new discovers unknown to mankind. I am on the verge of finding myself and why we exist. Going beyond a world I only knew. Moving toward my far away place to rest my soul amongst the ones I have missed. Finally, quenching my thirst to heal and closing my open wounds. Their loss is the only thing that still makes me feel human.
I have traveled farther then any human space voyage has ever traveled before, well beyond the prying eyes of the living, who place telescopes in the sky in search for the meaning of life. The deeper I go in my trek, I realize that I do not fear the unknown anymore. Rambling beyond our Milky Way I find my sense of purpose as it begins to take shape. My destination to Nirvana is filled with anticipation, I can hardly wait. The world I left behind a distant memory now as I approach a new horizon from the depths of a place that is only meant for the afterlife. I am on my way to the promised land, busting through to the Zion; I enter a world of everlasting peace. Filled with love and admiration, I am home.
I look forward to seeing the ones that have taken this path before me. I can not wait to hear their voices, knowing that I will soon see them again. I have found comfort here. I have found my harmony in this place. I am truly at rest. I long to walk through the door, a passage to my loved ones, gathered around to greet me. To see their shapes to listen to them say, “welcome.”
I want to hold my children in my arms and decide who they look like more, me or my wife. To kiss their face and hold their hands. To look at my wife and smile, as we make eye contact and say nothing because there is no need, this moment is real, beyond expression, we are reunited as one, surrounded by our loved ones, we are a family again.
The haziness clears and I zone back to reality. My life is where I left off, I am in my present. I am among the living and I am thankful that I am here. I look at my sons and smile knowing that we have a life here, together. I am grateful to share the time I have with them. I cherish it, but I do not fear when my time comes. I am beholden and appreciative to have them near me now so that we can leave and find our own piece of heaven, here on earth.
A drive down the long road, past the palm trees on a path to ecstasy. Just beyond the red, yellow and green traffic lights and through the sea of red tail lights. Not to far from our final destination now, as we pass the large concrete structures obstructing our view but not our resolve. The moment of truth has arrived, our journey ends.
We exit our transporter and enter through the door that displays the large “WELCOME” sign.
We hear the word we traveled miles and miles to hear, “Welcome to Ice Cream World, how can I help you."
A little piece of paradise for my boys. Heaven in a scoop of ice cream, to heal their souls.
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Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.
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