Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The King

You are here: Home » The King




Nico (foreground) Christopher checking out a big rig

March 24, 2015

I took off an entire week in March to spend it with my sons’ during spring break.

“Hear ye, hear ye, the King is remaining home so he may take care of the Royal children, Nico and Christopher, for a week!”

One would think someone referring to himself as “The King,” in a blog, would not be subjected to the ongoing of 2 little mischievous boys. However, for this blog the King is referring to the lord of the Manor, the One, who pays the bills, only.

“Hence forth, I shall forgo my title of Captain and take the name of The King for this blog, only, as not to confuse, my 50,000 plus, readers! Sorry, LeBron, the King of basketball and I am really sorry Prince Charles, whose mom may out live him nd his future crown.”

I like being home from work. Lounging around in my boxer shorts is my “smokers jacket” while I sit and watch television or while I sit here and type out this blog.

“The king has no clothes on. Who cares, he ain’t no Emperor.”

But my boys are more demanding than these television commercials trying to get me to buy On Demand movies. The King shall not give into this advertising. For the King must get juice for his son. And while the King is up, he shall get a snack for his other son. And since the King is in the kitchen he shall get a treat for his 2 dogs.

“All watch and see the King serve his Royal Court. What a sucker… I mean He’s such a great, King!”

It is so hard to plan a weeks worth of fun in 5 days. Oh, I mean 7. The demands of children’s instant satisfaction can only be summed up in ones gratifying their craving. I had our boat and plenty of movies. I was burned out on Disney, and travel in general, after a fast trip to see snow in Tennessee. (see blog for story) I had to devise a plan.

“The King hasn’t got a clue, but we’ve been saying this for years!”

I decided that we’d have a weeklong slumber party. Up late, sleep in, eat cookies, talk about Sonic the Hedgehog and Angry Birds. For us this would be one long camp, at home. But will they buy into it?

“Sleepovers and conversations with a 5 and 7 year old. Yes folks, our King has truly lost it.”

In Florida we spring forward and since we do the hour ahead think it made the mornings still dark which enabled them to sleep in. Everyday would start the same. Breakfast. Disney channel. However, I decided we’d take a few trips to the hardware store, during the week, to get things for the kitchen renovations. Followed by days on the boat.

“The King has decided to run his own errands and drag his kids with him. Thus, ruining their spring break. He also plans to go sail the seas on his quest for sanity. It’s going to be a fun week. Break out the popcorn.”

Monday

“Sir, your kids are playing on the parked fork life,” clerk at the flooring store.

Tuesday

“I don’t know guys, Hedge Hog was more fun when I was a kid playing it on Sega.

Wednesday

“Welcome back to the flooring store, sir. I see you brought the little ones, again. Shall we assign a clerk with you to help you?” 

"Boys that semi-truck isn't ours stop trying to commandeer it!"

Thursday

“When this boat is moving you will place on that lifejacket! And don’t through your cup in the ocean. Stay back away from the railing! No you can’t sit there when the boats moving. No wait, pee in the cabin no in the ocean! ‘Sorry you’re seeing this. The good thing is the current is moving away from you. It’s 11 PM aren’t you tired?”

Friday

“Dad, I made cereal in the toaster.”

Saturday

“Why are you holding my Redbull?”

Sunday

“I swear to God, if you guys don’t stop screaming at each other. I will scream enough for the 3 of us.”

Monday

“Again, put on the lifejacket. I don’t know how many times I have to say it!”

My week was rewarding. My kids loved being with me the entire time. I’m enjoying this now because eventually my sons will be asking me to go to Daytona Beach on spring break. Until then, this week will forever be ours.


“The King and all his men herby decree Spring Break officially over. He is now our Captain, once again. By the way King that was eight days of spring break”


Christopher and Captain Imperfecto


Copyright 2015 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.