March 24, 2015
I took off an entire week in March to spend it with my sons during spring break.
"Hear ye, hear ye, the King is remaining home so he may care for the Royal children, Nico and Christopher, for a week!"
In a blog, someone referring to himself as "The King" would not be subjected to the ongoing of 2 little mischievous boys. However, for this blog, the King refers to the lord of the Manor, the One, who only pays the bills.
"Henceforth, I shall forgo my title of Captain and take the name of The King for this blog only so as not to confuse my 100,000-plus readers! Sorry, LeBron, the King of basketball, and I am really sorry, Prince Charles, whose mom may outlive him and his future crown."
I like being home from work. Lounging around in my boxer shorts is my "smoker's jacket" while I sit and watch television or sit here and type out this blog.
"The King has no clothes on. Who cares, he ain't no Emperor."
But my boys are more demanding than these television commercials trying to get me to buy On Demand movies. The King shall not give in to this advertising. For the King must get juice for his son. And while the King is up, he shall bring a snack for his other son. And since the King is in the kitchen, he shall get a treat for his 2 dogs.
"All watch and see the King serve his Royal Court. What a sucker… I mean, He's such a great King!"
Planning a week's worth of fun in 5 days is so hard. Oh, I mean 7. The demands of children's instant satisfaction can only be summed up as gratifying their cravings. I had our boat and plenty of movies. I was burned out on Disney and travel in general after a fast trip to see snow in Tennessee. (see blog for story) I had to devise a plan.
"The King hasn't got a clue, but we've been saying this for years!"
I decided that we'd have a weeklong slumber party. Up late, sleep in, eat cookies, talk about Sonic the Hedgehog and Angry Birds. For us, this would be one long camp at home. But will they buy into it?
"Sleepovers and conversations with a 5 and 7-year-old. Yes, folks, our King has truly lost it."
In Florida, we spring forward, and since we do the hour ahead, I think it made the mornings dark, enabling them to sleep in. Every day would start the same. Breakfast. Disney channel. However, I decided we'd take a few weekly trips to the hardware store to get things for the kitchen renovations. Followed by days on the boat.
"The King has decided to run errands and drag his kids with him. Thus ruining their spring break. He also plans to sail the seas on his quest for sanity. It's going to be a fun week. Break out the popcorn."
Monday
"Sir, your kids are playing on the parked fork life," said a clerk at the flooring store.
Tuesday
"I don't know, guys, Hedge Hog was more fun when I was a kid playing it on Sega.
Wednesday
"Welcome back to the flooring store, sir. I see you brought the little ones again. Shall we assign a clerk with you to help you?"
"Boys, that semi-truck isn't ours. Stop trying to commandeer it!"
Thursday
"When this boat moves, you will be placed on that lifejacket! And don't throw your cup in the ocean. Stay back away from the railing! No, you can't sit there when the boats move. No, wait, pee in the cabin, no in the ocean! 'Sorry, you're seeing this. The good thing is the current is moving away from you. It's 11 PM, aren't you tired?"
Friday
"Dad, I made cereal in the toaster."
Saturday
"Why are you holding my Redbull?"
Sunday
"I swear to God if you guys don't stop screaming at each other. I will scream enough for the 3 of us."
Monday
"Again, put on the lifejacket. I don't know how many times I have to say it!"
My week was rewarding. My kids loved being with me the entire time. I enjoyed this because my sons eventually asked me to attend Daytona Beach on spring break. Until then, this week will forever be ours.
"The King and all his men herby decree Spring Break officially over. Once again, he is now our Captain. By the way, King, that was eight days of spring break."
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