Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Mindless Thoughts Before Tomorrow Comes

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August 29th, 2012

I sit here in the drivers’ seat of my car waiting for my red light to turn green. Cars are moving in front of me, their patience paying off as they charge through the green light. My thoughts are so deep I don’t even know they’re there. But they must be because they are interrupting my concentration. I’m caught between my deep thoughts and a stare into the far off distance, which seems to be occupying my mind.

The clouds above me are dark and moving fast, across the sky begging for my attention but I don’t look up. I still stare straight ahead. Much like the cars that are moving left to right in front of my windshield, I don’t have to pay attention to know they are there. The clouds are as large as the ocean, encompassing everything that gets in its way. Including deep thought motorists, who know a lot about them for someone not seeming to care.

The day is gloomy for a mid afternoon. It’s the perfect backdrop for my mood. Is everyone like this- I think.

I people shop from behind my car window, wondering what is going on with the walks of life, as they pass me by along the sidewalks that are married with the asphalt in which my car rests. The people seem to be only window-shopping, without any real clothing goal however, they seem to have lots of places to be but, why is everyone in such a rush to go somewhere without really getting anywhere? At least the clouds have a place to go, before they wreck havoc on these people below.

My trance is fixated on the feet of the people as they hurriedly walk from one shop to the next. Their feet stopping momentarily so I can catch a glimpse while they stop to drool over this coming Fall fashion accessories.  

“Ugly shoes,” I say, as I shift my eyes to the next pair that walks on by. 

Moving with speed to their next destination. Much like the cars that are passing in front of me. I don’t have to pay attention to know that they are there. They are just people in a rush ignoring those around them without making a fuss.

I look beyond the people on the streets and take a glimpse of the mannequins in the windows and the clothes that they wear. 

Who dresses them and why? Who decides what goes where? Were they in a rush to dress them much like the people that stop and stare – I think to myself. 

I don’t have to wear the clothes to know that I probably won’t be shopping there. I’ll shop from my car with my phone if I really wanted to kill some time before it’s my time to get the green  light and go.

I zone out and wonder what’s my next move and if I will break through to the other side of life. To reach my dreams and fulfill my own destiny when all I'll ever do is write for a living. My thoughts deepen much like the thickness of the clouds overhead as my mind races like those feet that pound the concrete to get around. Right now I can only window shop and hope that one day things will be okay and work its way out much like those shoppers buying those clothes from the mannequins hoping they choose the right dress that will bring them their own success.

If it wasn’t for the people…

“Honk”
 
The horn jolts me out of my mindless thought as I press on my gas and move out of their way, fast. I don’t know what’s my rush, I really have no place to go but, apparently all the people sitting in their cars behind me have a much more better life then me, as they go around my car at my law abiding speed screaming- Move out of the way so our ass can go before tomorrow comes!










Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.

© copyright 2012. All rights reserved.


Also see us at www.captainimperfecto.com

Monday, August 27, 2012

Field of Dreams

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August 27th, 2012


The freshly cut grass greets me as the aroma tantalizes my senses. There’s nothing better then stepping on the grass of an open field that is filled with possibilities. The sight before me is endless, in my field of dreams. It’s a place where I can be a kid again and frolic in the wide-open spaces.

This field is where I can discover my youth again. Like a kid I run and play, remembering the times when I was a child playing freeze tag. The soft grass beneath my bare feet brings me comfort by allowing me to reminisce about my innocence before I would discover life’s true trails and tribulations. Where’s my fountain of youth when I need it?

It’s out here on this green canvases in-between the white lines that mark off the field as I run from line to line. It’s the orange dirt woven in the fabric of Mother Nature’s lush green carpet. My youth can be found in the kite I am flying high above my kids while it surveys the land around us. Gliding along the breeze as the plastic flaps make a snapping sound. The sound gently floats down, only to drown in my kids laughter. The fountain is found in the drinks that quench my soul, while I share a drink with my kids, as we enjoy a picnic on top of the green surface smiling, while we watch others play around us.

It is easy to find joy in others, especially children, because they know no better about life, other then the green pastures out in front of them. They don’t worry about that kite falling from the sky or other children at play running into them. They don’t care if they fall on the field because they get back up ignoring daddy’s appeal to “shake it off.” They don’t care about the ants that may find their way on to our food, as we sit in our perfect picnic spot. They just live their life the way we use to, without out any real thought. 

This field is where I want to be. I want to run off all of my fears and force them to the sidelines. I want my worries to drain from my sweat, and leave them on the field, so I may feel like myself again. 

I am only limited by what I can envision myself doing in a place like this. And it isn’t hard to reminisce about those crisp fall days when the day was in its twilight. The cool air rushing into your lungs, as you take deep breaths, allowing it to wake up your soul. The field lights begin to brighten, over taking the suns weak sun rays. Forcing them to retreat back into the sky, as you stand in amazement, while I admire the bright orange sky clashing with the clear blue atmosphere, as the darkness begins to shroud over it, forcing it to sleep so that life may regroup and begin anew.

This field it where life starts. It is where our food is grown and our animals roam. We build our homes here, where the roots of our family are formed.  It is a place where there are endless possibilities only limited by our imagination. 

This field is where I can find myself again also, in the joy my kids, because they our having as much fun as I  am while I watch them play, much like I use to play. Where they live like I use to live, in the carefree spaces. 

They know where I long to be as they grab my hand and pull me on to their field. They want me live a life, their life, the one they only know. To play in their field of dreams, so I can remember what my dreams use to be. They want my to enjoy life and play, so I can be a kid again. I haven’t forgotten what that is like, so today, I will join in.









Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.

© copyright 2012. All rights reserved.


Also see us at www.captainimperfecto.com