Thursday, March 14, 2013

Time After Time

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Captain Imperfecto and Mimie

March 14/15, 2013

Time after time, I think I healed myself mentally, but then I think of you and I remember why sunny days can sometimes feel blue. I may laugh and see the lighter things in life now, that I have some time and distance between your death and my reality, but you’re always one memory away.  

Time after time, day after day, your life still hasn’t receded as an afterthought, because your spirit still resonates among the ones who knew you best.  The ones who love you miss your smile, laugh and humor. Your spirit is the one thing that the tides of life can not pull back into the abyss of the deep blue sea of oblivion. 

Time after time, through movement and sound, I sometimes think I catch your glimpse from the corner of my eye or hear your voice from a far off distance, only to realize the sad fact that you aren’t there. And when I think there is nothing left to believe in, one of your sons comes to me, and hugs me, then I realize, you truly are here.

Time after time, week by week, I hear your voice inside my head telling me to live in the now. I hear your soft tones say, “slow down, be calm and allow life to move me along, peacefully.” Your voice brings me tranquility, like the sight of the falling rain, and I take life in to help my grow while I remember all the things we loved to share and the sights we loved to see. 

Time after time, day after day, week after week, month after month, time moves on and your not here. Your boys miss your touch, they miss your motherly love, the smell from your clothes and the warmth of your breath. They need their mom, but they make it through the months without you, the best way any child could who doesn’t have their mom.

Time translates to days which turn into weeks that morph into months that give birth to new years and now I am facing a whole year without you here and another year yet to come.

No more thinking to my myself that this time last year, you were here, on earth, being a loving mother to your sons. No more knowing that this time last year I knew I could call you. No more remembering the good times and bad times we shared over the past 14 years because this day will over shadow any day because March 15th marks the day you went away. 

And that, is a fact that I will have to live with time after time, day after day, month after month into the next years of my life.

Until we meet again.




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The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto/Born Again by Christopher P. Fusaro is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Based on a work at christopherfusaro.blogspot.com.

The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto ©  is also a Registered Copyright with the Office of the Registers, United States of America, TX 7-611-138