June 9th, 2012
The words echo into my brain as I slowly fade to black.
My soul rises out of its integument, leaving its carriage behind. I hover above myself as I absorb the life of those around me.
My energy quickly evaporates into thin air as I say goodbye to the carcass that is now empty and soulless. Just remnants of who I once was and who I'll never be again. My noumenon bouncing around the walls, I playfully celebrate my freedom. I pass through my loved ones, breathing life into their sorrows and supplying them with vitality and strength. My essence dissipates, but I leave the gift of love as I journey into the heavens.
I move across the bright sky, which, even at night, is illuminated by the light that radiates from my aura. I am free as a bird, and all my worries are left behind. My journey will continue, but not here, not now.
My climb continues above the earth but not at the speed of light or sound. My ascend is slow and deliberate, taking one last glance before evaporating into the atmosphere. My last look back, I must move forward now and leave behind a life and love worth living, as I leave behind the ones whose time has not come.
My spirit becomes energized from within the person I once was; it reinvigorates the exuberance that had seemed to elude me before my dissolution. I move closer to space with nothing but time to reflect on the ones I left to mourn me. The beauty in their eyes, the dignity in their spirit, and the love in their hearts. My soul languishes for them, knowing they will never feel this free until their peregrination into Elysium beckons them.
The blue sky fades to black as I reach the darkness of outer space. I'm in a vacuum, sucking me towards the stars. I quickly move past the blue horizon, leaving the earth behind on my way to another world. I don't need to see behind me to know how small we are and who I left behind.
I look forward to knowing we are meant for greater things once our time on earth has passed. I am not sad; I am relieved. There is another day beyond our darkest ones.
My soul is invigorated with strength and power, producing a glow brighter than the closest star, my phosphorescence putting on a light show for the people below as I move across worlds into my heavenly place. Moving beyond the limits of space, I break through the nebulae of the Interstellar Medium of light produced by the closest burning star, breaching the ultraviolet illumination of red and blue that adds color to space's black canvas.
My search for divinity is almost complete as I pass the outer limits of the galaxy, beyond the deepest imaginations of those on earth, and surpass the written word as I make new discoveries unknown to mankind. I am on the verge of finding myself and why we exist. Going beyond a world I only knew. Moving toward my faraway place to rest my soul amongst the ones I have missed. Finally, quenching my thirst to heal and close my open wounds. Their loss is the only thing that still makes me feel human.
I have traveled farther than any human space voyage has ever, well beyond the prying eyes of the living, who place telescopes in the sky in search of the meaning of life. The deeper I go in my trek, the more I realize that I no longer fear the unknown. Rambling beyond our Milky Way, I find my sense of purpose as it begins to take shape. My destination to Nirvana is filled with anticipation; I can hardly wait. The world I left behind is a distant memory as I approach a new horizon from the depths of a place only meant for the afterlife. I am on my way to the promised land, busting through to the Zion; I enter a world of everlasting peace. Filled with love and admiration, I am home.
I look forward to seeing those who have taken this path before me. I can not wait to hear their voices, knowing I will soon see them again. I have found comfort here. I have found my harmony in this place. I am truly at rest. I long to walk through the door, a passage to my loved ones gathered around to greet me. To see their shapes, to listen to them say, "Welcome."
I want to hold my children in my arms and decide who they look like more, me or my wife. To kiss their face and hold their hands. To look at my wife and smile as we make eye contact and say nothing because there is no need; this moment is real, beyond expression; we are reunited as one, surrounded by our loved ones; we are a family again.
The haziness clears, and I zone back to reality. My life is where I left off; I am in my present. I am among the living and thankful that I am here. I look at my sons and smile, knowing we have a life together. I am grateful to share the time I have with them. I cherish it, but I do not fear when my time comes. I am beholden and appreciative to have them near me now so we can leave and find our own piece of heaven here on earth.
A drive down the long road, past the palm trees on a path to ecstasy. Just beyond the red, yellow, and green traffic lights and through the sea of red tail lights. We are close to our final destination now, as we pass the large concrete structures obstructing our view but not our resolve. The moment of truth has arrived; our journey ends.
We exit our transporter and enter through the door that displays the large "WELCOME" sign.
We hear the word we traveled miles and miles to hear, "Welcome to Ice Cream World; how can I help you."
A little piece of paradise for my boys. Heaven in a scoop of ice cream to heal their souls.
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Much healing...
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