Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dear Boys




March 27,2012

I was the one prepared to die. Yes, sounds morbid to say. Who the hell is prepared to die other than some extremist? Being a police officer you inherit extra risk than normal society other then the morning commute to work.  My biggest fear wasn’t death in general. It was the idea that my kids wouldn’t be able to have my guidance during their child hood.

I always said “I’ll miss my kids more when I am gone then they me.” They are an inspiration to me. They make me want to be better as a person and like most parents I would travel to the end of the earth for them. 

One day on patrol we had a burglary in progress. An unknown man entered into a home to have his way with the unoccupied house but he did not know the neighbors spotted him and they called the police.

We arrived and surrounded the house. It was close to 6 o'clock in the evening and the homeowner arrived. They told us that no one should be home and that we could go inside and check to make sure there was nobody there.

Now usually in this situation we would call a canine to come search the house but there was not one available. Not the first time this has happened and it won't be the last time either. Me and two other officers entered the house and started to search for a suspect. There was no one there. I decided that we needed to check the attic, in case he sought refuge there. I walked in the closest where the entry was at and realized that I would need to call the fire department to use their ladder. Once they arrived I placed the ladder up to the opening and looked for volunteers to go look inside, everyone was hesitant.

With the pause from everyone else, I grabbed the ballistic shield and walked up the ladder the best I could holding my gun in my left hand and the shield in my right. When I got to the opening I realized the shield wouldn't fit, so i slid it down the rails of the ladder and crawled up inside. I found him. We were close quarters and if he had a gun I probably would have been killed.

After that incident, I decided to record my voice while I was patrolling the streets with a small digital tape recorder. I would tell my sons about life, dreams and goals that I would like for their future. I wanted to tell them they had to love each other above all else because that’s all they have each other if  their mother or I should both die.
I never dreamt it would be me to survive and I would be the one burying my wife.
I told Mimie once, “You’ll live well into your 80’s. I’m a cop. We take years off our life.”

How hollow that statement feels now.  Now it is up to me to keep her memory intact through pictures and videos of her for the future of my kids and their kids. They will never forget their mom because I will not let them forget their mom. and if anything should happened to me they will have the recordings to understand how their mom and I lived.






Christopher Fusaro is the author of Captain Imperfecto.

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