Thursday, December 24, 2015

Christmas and Whatnot

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Nico (left) and Christopher at the Ice celebration at the Gaylord Hotel in Orlando December 2015 


December 24, 2015

I celebrate Christmas. And 2015 seems to be the year that Nico and Christopher understand why there is an 8-foot tree in the house. The tree dons twinkling lights, colorful balls, garland and topped with Mickey Mouse waving a lighted lantern back and forth. A reference to guide Santa’s slay to our tree.

Unfortunately the two haven’t quite grasped the religious significance of December 25, a date picked to celebrate our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. They only understand God when I say things like, “God no Christopher, why did you do that?” Or, “ No Nico, for God sakes stop climbing on there.”

Now before you lash out at their dad about how "I’m a bad parent" let me give you some more ammo to judge me for my boys not fully understating Christmas place in knowing God, Jesus, and birth rights. I blame the early indoctrinated from TV. The commercials and Christmas specials like the Peanuts or The Grinch or whatever, tend o make my kids think that Christmas gifts are as cool as the commercials and, hat, I can be the Grinch who shouts, "No. Santa. Ever!

The non-stop commercializing of Christmas began November 1, or how I like to compare it: The day after Halloween, when Michael Myers, attacked the same town, he has attacked since I first watched Halloween when I was 3. Which only makes me think that Michael Myers should get out more and see the world.

Lately, I have been shopping online. It's so convenient. And I have been shopping on there so much I wouldn’t be surprised if Nico and Christopher call Hector, the United Parcel Service driver, Santa, since Hectors been to the house every day. People are going to think him and I are having an affair. Sometimes it’s a ménage à trios of trucks when the FedEx, United States Post Office, and UPS come at once. No pun intended.

Questions from my kids about why these trucks come everyday hasn’t really been brought up by them so need not worry they are questioning CHristmas and the existence of Santa. Christmas for them right now is more of a plethora of commands by me, “those aren’t your gifts, don’t touch those boxes, stop touching the tree, leave the ornaments alone, stop messing with the neighbors Christmas lights, no I can’t make you Spider Man, no daddy doesn’t know Santa Claus…because I’ll text him you’ve been naughty!”

I’m raising good kids though, and they deserve to have a nice holiday for being good in school, having good manners, and listening to authority, at least 60 percent of the time! I mean they’re 6 and 7, the only bad thing that they could do right now besides burn down the house, is not want to go to school or challenge my “no.” And I find that the only people who challenge my "no" are adults. Being a police officer No is always in my arsenal.

“Sorry ma’am, no, you can’t drive that way there’s a 3 car pile up.”

“I don’t care officer, I need to go there.”

“But ma’am, someone died in that car accident.”

“I can’t believe you’re inconveniencing me,” she said.

If you think about all the bad there is around the world and what adults have done to one and other and the environment, well, Nico, flooding the toilets in the summer of 2015 isn’t so bad. Or his brother Christopher using a permanent marker on the refurbished cabinets of my renovated kitchen in March of 2015, is well, child’s play compared to wars, bigotry, lies, cheats and deaths. We humans are sure mean to each other.

I see why there is a mythical character that my sons’ can think exist that will bring joy and good cheer. We should all believe in someone like that who gives without thought and sacrifices to make sure the world has at least on good day. We can learn from that selflessness. Wait, maybe that person isn’t an aberration. People described like that can be my parents.

I was putting up our Christmas tree with the help from my boys. Finally I trusted them enough to place the good ornaments on the lifelike artificial pre-lit, led, tree. Some of these ornaments are priceless. Thoughts of my kids shaking the tree and causing them to tumble to the ground and shatter created as much fear in me as a cat owner who decides to put up a tree every year.

“Dad, our all families doing this?”

“You mean putting up a tree?”

“Yes”

“Well, no, some people don’t celebrate the holiday because they have their own beliefs and some can’t afford to buy a tree or make ends meet.”

“Doesn’t Santa bring those kids all gifts?”

“In a perfect world no one would be suffering, and no one would be without a present during a holiday. But this isn’t always the case that’s why we have to remember that we are lucky and fortunate to have the love and caring for each other and give thanks that there are people out there that help others that can not help themselves. You have to believe in the spirit that Christmas day somewhere out there is a person spreading good cheer and sacrificing themselves to make sure others aren’t doing with out. As much as we want to believe that Santa is helping everyone we also need to believe that he has helpers, like us, helping those he can’t reach.”

“We are pretty lucky that we can celebrate.”

My sons’ may understand that Christmas equals gifts but that doesn’t mean I can’t undo what commercialism tells them. They should hear from dad to give in the spirit rather than take without thought. Merry Christmas boys’


I think of you always.


MERRY CHRISTMAS  TO EVERYONE! 2015


Nico and Captain waiting for the Walt Disney World monorail, at the Polynesian Resort December 2015


A few thought this Christmas:

This holiday I think of the 2 women who I saw while I was patrolling who could only put a few dollars of fuel in her car and I topped off their tanks. One of those ladies was stranded on the side of the road. She was so used to having no gas she kept an emergency half a gallon of gas in her trunk. I told her that was dangerous!

I was driving down the road and saw a woman with her two children waiting on the bus and it was about to rain. I quickly bought them ponchos and an umbrella.

The family struggling to buy the kids Slurpee’s, an ice treat, counting their change trying to figure out how to buy their kids a treat that so many of us take for granted, I made sure they got it all, anonymously.



Some donating I did this year:

Judd Apatow’s Night of Too Many Stars for Autism:  https://www.autismspeaks.org/site-wide/night-too-many-stars


Donated to my friends, friend who is dying of ALS: https://www.gofundme.com/8qch93xg

And the many other things I did to pay it forward.


© copyright 2015 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved


*Note: Many of the stops and contact I made on the side of the road to help people were done while I was on duty in my capacity as a law enforcement officer in a marked police car. You should always proceed with caution with being confronted or asked to help by someone you don’t know. When in doubt just call the police for assistance.





Thursday, December 10, 2015

Pressing Snooze

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Nico (left) and Christopher at a Christmas Ice show in Orlando, T'was the Night Before Christmas 


December 10, 2015

Without looking over my shoulder I reached out my arm and with the very tips of my fingers I pressed the snooze bar on my alarm clock. I never once open my eyes, I don’t need to know the time. It’s 6 A.M. I know the dreaded time has arrived when I have to place my weary feet on the floor and start my day.

I’m enjoying what little rest the snooze function will afford me. The countdown has begun though, from when I hit the button and the five-minute buffer before that annoying, “beep, beep, beep,” noise begins to pierce my ears. I long to keep my eyes tightly shut and fall back to sleep while I continue to do my best to forget that I have to start my day. Someone has to pay the bills until I’m rich or win the lottery.

“Man,” I think, “there has got to be like three minutes left of rest here in my bed,” I said to myself. “Dream Chris dream, dream of something good with your fleeting minutes.”

But I can’t dream, I can’t rest, the anxiety is building. There has to be two minutes left on my snooze button reset. This anticipation is grueling. I open my eyes and stare at the wall. Slowly the low light of the alarm clock reflects back at me, and yet, I don’t look back at the time. I am determined to rest. Sleep like a bump on a log, what the hell does that even mean, for at least the one minute and half that I have left, okay maybe one minute and ten seconds.

I know, I could hit snooze again my situation isn’t absolute. But if I continue to stall I may have to sacrifice some things, like coffee, I can’t do that. Maybe I can forgo brushing my teeth by eating a piece of gum as a substitute. Wait do I have gum? Forget it, no I won’t brush my teeth if it means I can snooze, again. No matter how disgusting that may be. But why not brush my teeth when I go pee? I have to pee; it’s a daily morning ritual. Unless, that is I could pee outside by my car on the way out the door for work. What about brushing my hair? What about it, Chris, you’re bald. True, okay then, where else can I cut corners to extend my snooze?

Too late, I can’t figure out where to cut any corners I will just have to force myself up when that alarm goes off in 25 seconds. At least I think it’s 25 seconds, more like 20 now, going on 15 counting down to 10, 9, 8 ,7 ,6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1….Wait, no alarm? Hmm I must have my time off, the alarm should be going off….

<beep, beep, beep, beep>

There it is! I just want to go to sleep forget it, stop torturing yourself, Chris, just snooze again! But no! I won’t I’ll just get my butt up and be grateful that I can start a new day.

I sit up from my bed. The room is so cold, but baby my sheets are warm. I just got to ignore the calling of my bed. Forget that pillow I don’t want it! I don’t need sleep, I’m a beast, I’m an animal, I can get up and do this by taking on my day and head to work like a champ!


Wait, I just realized, I’m off today.


Captain Imperfecto needs a selfie stick


© copyright 2015 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved. 






Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Foundation

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Nico (left) and Christopher 

November 25, 2015

Trying to figure out these two kids psyches is a fun game of chess. Both my boys are beginning to emerge with their own personalities and interests so, as their dad, I’m trying to balance both of them with my own ideas of life as a lay a foundation that they will build upon through their own experiences.

Thankfully, I’m a moral person because at this stage of their life, my influence, has a direct weaving pattern as their fibers intertwine and mold their mental strength that will dictate what kind of people they will be in society.

I try to break them down when they’re strong, but not break them down to the point where they don’t stand on their own feet. I tell them “no” when appropriate but allow them some leeway on certain “no” to allow them to feel as if they some empowerment.

I don’t want to bully them because I don’t want them to be a bully to someone else however, if they succumb to my bullying will that submission allow someone else to bully them as they age? Because I won’t allow that.

I was bullied. Not by one individual over and over. I was bullied as if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Mostly while I attendant school. I was punched in the face, once, for no reason while I was in 6th grade. It happened when school ended and I was walking home. Then on another occasion I was attacked and beat up in the eighth grade during 6th period history class. The substitute teacher never “saw anything.” Also in the eighth grade I was almost robbed of my silver necklace my mom gave me. I was going to the restroom in between class breaks. I was able to push the robbers hand back as he attempted to grip my neck. The principal intervened. The 3 guys were gang members. Thankfully it was the last week of school and I didn't have to go back.

I never defendant myself because I wasn’t given the lessons by my parents, at my young age, on how to defend myself with words. I didn't understand that it was my right to feel empowered by saying no, don't touch me. I just coward down and took it.

These are life lessons from my experiences that didn’t scar me by making me timid or allow the incident to define a race, gender, or culture. I just vowed that I would get better and more confident and I did with each incident being a life lesson. I learned that no one cares about me more than myself, so I needed to make changes, that made me more confident with myself.

My goal as a dad is to give my boys’ the tools and lessons, now, so that they won’t need the “on the job” training that I had when dealing with a bully. I made it my mission to empower my kids early and to be morally responsible, compassionate, gentlemen but also to realize that there is a time to be nice and then a time not to be nice.

As these boys grow into men I hope that I have instilled in them the confidence a young mind needs to be successful. They may be 2 individuals but they are learning from their dad’s mindset, which is a great foundation to their life.





I would like to wish the many people out there who celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving, November 26, 2015, a very Happy Thanksgiving. The holiday has evolved from when we learned about the first day the Pilgrims ate with the Indians to a time many of us to give thanks for all that we have.

I like to give many thanks to my boys’ and to a certain someone who has taught me to live again, I love you all very much. I also would give thanks, that my family, will spend time together which is more precious now as time goes by because we are all getting older.


And to all of you a heartfelt thank you for continuing to read my blogs and watch my boys’ grow through the past years and the future. Thanks for being a part of it all; you are all thought of this time of year. May everyone be safe, live long, and find peace.


Captain Imperfecto celebrating a good day.



© copyright Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.









Wednesday, November 11, 2015

"To be or not to be..."

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Christopher (left) and Nico on Halloween Saturday bowling party. 


November 11, 2015

Inwardly I struggle to be happy. Outwardly I exude happiness. Why can’t I just make a decision on where my happy medium lies? Well, I can’t pinpoint that decision because I don’t always feel unhappy inside. And trust me, I have nothing to be unhappy about. Time moves on and I have learned that I cannot stand around and assume that happiness will know I’m waiting for it to take notice of me while I’m standing on the sideline of life. So I chose to get in the game and make myself happy, by indulging in the things that satisfy myself, before my time eventually runs out. Losing anymore time that I lost during my first few years of being a widower, that would be regret.

So during my time I find that good caffeinated coffee can make me happy. Hell the beverage will spill out of me in words as you will find out when I talk your ear off about anything and everything that will bring laughter to your face and sustenance for your appetite of good conversation.

Working out at the gym brought my endorphins out and coursed through my body which always made me feel good. But I don’t go to the gym often, like I use to, anyhow. I’m talking about the gym rat years when I went during my peak years 5 days a week and 2 to 3 hour sessions. I suppose my six and seven year old sons’ rigorous activities bring me enough energy that has my endorphins running wild. I do miss my personal relationship with the gym; it’s just that the gym and me are at odds with my energy and time that is expounded playing and taking care of my kids. I would much rather sit down when my kids are worn out then lie down on a bench press and push up 300 pounds.

Writing has brought me some kind of happiness. I have accumulated hours and hours of blogs about my life that will surely make people, happy, sad, cringe, miserable, satisfied, appalled, judgmental, hell name it and you’ll find the adjective that suits your mood or your feelings about me somewhere in my blog. But all this constant writing gets tiring too. Thinking of things to write and putting it on paper for someone to read and hope they find some kind of satisfaction from how I'm feeling can be very draining. Which offers the question is it time to move on from the blog?

My blog started from a simple person, well not simple, a very famous person, encouraging me to write about my losses and allow others to know that they aren't alone in their struggles of loss and disappointments of life. But Now I have evolved from the widowed father and grieving dad of 2 daughters, to a somewhat adjusted, reality of life, kind of guy who has a really great blog and a large platform to write to the world about my many new adventures, new tagline, haha?

I have met a lot of great people through here and heard many stories of personal strife. So making the decision to continue writing on with the blog creates more indecisions and conflicts on why I should keep on writing. After all, writers write, always, as they say.

But could I even walk away from what I built here and accomplished at Captain Imperfecto? I have a website, I have written a book that's out looking for a home, tens of thousands of people who have subscribed to my blog and Facebook Fan page and who have read more than 300,000 pages of my blog. These people span from all around the world. I can imagine some would surly become sad to see it end, right? But do I have an obligation to them?

All good things come to an end. I know this more than a lot of people. I have had an incredible journey that keeps on getting better that I think people would still love to read about those adventures. I have a few powerful contacts out there that I never reached out to them out of fear of alienating them and the competition with myself that I can be successful on my own. Besides I never wrote these misfortunes for personal gain because it didn't feel right. But maybe, they could help me take the next step to keep this material fresh.

In the end I will engage with my readers about my life, maybe expand to YouTube? And continue on as I sip on my coffee with a smile on my face, chase my boys instead of going to the gym, and allow others inside, who may not have anyone else, to rely on as they had relied on my writing.


Deep thoughts of decisions, or, indecisions with this world I have created.

“To be or not to be, that is the question.”



Captain Imperfecto and his boys.

© copyright 2015, Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved.