Monday, December 30, 2019

Same Ole Me

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Nico and Christopher marveling at the Catedral de la Almudena, Madrid, Spain. December 29, 2019.

December 30, 2019

New year. New me.  I’m sure you’ll see that from a whole lot of online friends while scrolling through your timeline on Twitter or seeing it plastered on your Facebook wall leading up to the new year, 2020. 

But I can honestly say that whatever inspirational quotes I will see on a social media platform or Peloton ad shoved down my throat, you’ll always going to have the same ole me.   

New day, new month, and new decade.  I’m the same ole me. 

Don’t get me wrong and think that by me declaring that I’m the same ole me I have stopped growing, evolving, and have not learned from my past mistakes or hard lessons.  I’m just declaring that I can change my attitude, my body and mind but in my core, I’m the same ole me. 

As the year 2019 closes, and the last decade finds its place in the history books, I can honestly say that I would love to have a better decade this time around.  I had a rough start to the beginning of 2010.    Two years in on 2012 my wife died.  I was placed in a tailspin for 2 years.  I was angry at everyone for my lack of help with my kids.  But with guidance and self help I successfully pulled out of it.     

I’m grateful I have survived emotionally with the loss of the boys’ mother and found footing to raise them. Without help in the beginning and then later a new person who would later become my wife.  And I’m lucky to be where I am in this life because I worked hard to mentally and physically breakthrough the dark clouds of fear and the unknown of my future.   I fought my way through times I thought I could never do it on my own because I was to weak and insecure in my position of life.  My whole world was caving in on me.  But being a victim never suited me.  And I broke through to the other side, albeit scathed, battered, and bruised but nevertheless, I learned. And I lived through it all to become wiser, calculated and humbled.  

The end of the decade brought me a wife and new son, Blake, who taught me the lesson that with or without me, life will move on.  So I choose to live.  And in choosing to live I can always say I was true to myself by being, the same ole me. 

A new decade is beckoning.  There is going to be challenges, heartache, and loss on this new journey into 2020 and beyond.   But there will also be good times, learning moments, celebrations and growth.  Starting with the birth of a new son in May of 2020.  Giving me 4 boys.  

I made it.  2019 is gone.  The decade is gone.  But I have persevered and won my way into a new decade.  A new beginning, a fresh start.  But I’ll never forget how I got here.  New year, new me?  Nah,  It was by being, the same ole me. 

*** I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. May your new year, and new decade bring you good health and good fortunes.  I thank you all for being apart of my growth and look forward to what’s yet to come.  2020!!  On a personal note.  2020 is off to a great start. I have a new son due in May 2020.  4 boys.  I’m very fortunate. Thank you, God. 

Captain Imperfecto and son Blake backpacking it in Madrid, Spain. December 29, 2019

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