May 19, 2015
I sat my defiant son in the office writer's chair I sit in to write my blog and the thousands of words for a memoir. He had his little arms folded across his body. His eyes slanted to the left, and he let out a loud, "Humph!"
Nico is now seven, the sweetest, kindest, and most considerate child, but when did this attitude happen? I really need to hone my parenting skills to curb this attitude. But is this unavoidable? His personality is developing. But this was going to be a moment that I would test myself as I searched for the right words to say to instill confidence and power as a part of his developing self rather than tear him down.
I love both my sons' age now because at the ages of 5 and 7, both my kids want to be just like me. So I have both of their attention. This is when I can build Christopher, especially Nico's, positive attitude. Eventually, Nico and Christopher will hit puberty and won't want to be like me.
In the words of Andrew Clark from the movie The Breakfast Club, "My God, are we gonna be like our parents?"
I don't negotiate with my kids. I just want Nico to sit in my office chair and listen to what I'm going to tell him without having to force him to listen to me. But here he is, holding his ground, refusing to partake in a life lesson I'm willing to teach. Parenting can be such a hard balance. On one hand, I don't want to be too forceful; on the other, I need to be encouraging.
While Nico sits in defiance, I slowly take off my police uniform. I'm trying to act cool, but his public attitude upset me because adding yelling to an attitude isn't acceptable. And I wanted to refrain from yelling since that would be a bad example and contradicting myself.
"I heard you were making a large scene at the pool today, Nico," I said.
I removed my police shirt and shed the bullet-resistant vest while looking over my right shoulder at him.
"Nico, you can't have an attitude and throw a tantrum at the pool because you didn't get your way."
"Humph."
I bent over and took off my shoes. One by one, I place them neatly on the floor. While on my knees, I reached for Nico, put my left hand on his face, and turned his head toward me.
"Look at me."
"Humph."
"You are strong and a leader. You must lead by example for your little brother. If you are told "no" by me or anyone else, it is no."
He turns his head again to the side. Nico then clutches his arms closer to his body and lets out another "humph."
I placed my butt on the floor and removed my socks from my weary feet. It was such a hot day today in this Florida humidity. After a twelve-hour day, the last thing I wanted to do was scold my child. I tried to undress in peace.
"Nico," I said while gripping his knees, "we can't always get our way, so we pick and choose when to fight for what we want. Wanting more time in the pool isn't one of those battles."
I just want to get through to him and mold his mind, curbing that attitude. At seven years old, his brain develops into who he will be as an adult. I'm instilling a life lesson of advice in that brain of his for future use to make him better at blanking his anger.
Nico looked over at me and responded by saying, "Okay, Daddy."
Those words were pretty rewarding as a parent. I felt at ease with my parenting skills for the day.
"Good, soon," I said with satisfaction in my voice.
I gave him a big hug. He jumped from his chair and headed to the living room to watch television. I have won for the day and instilled a valuable life lesson for his future. Or, I created more battles for things he truly wants. Parenting skills are for more than just kids. I'm learning a thing or 2 myself. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
716 words
© Copyright 2012- 2024 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be republished, rewritten or redistributed without permission. Please contact if you would like to re-publish in film, television or print.
No comments:
Post a Comment