November 2, 2012
Damn, this line is long. My feet hurt from my body weight being pulled down by gravity, and I placed it firmly on my lower bone structure. It's from standing in one place for so long. I roll on the balls of my feet, trying to displace the weight. To where? I have no idea.
Life's a waiting game. Wait for your mail and that vital letter or check to arrive. While waiting for a phone call, you tell yourself it will never come, but deep down, you hope it will. Waiting for your favorite amusement ride so that you can bring a little joy to your life, even if it's for only 30 seconds or more. Waiting for life to take hold and catapult you into the place you always hoped you would be once upon a time that seems so long ago.
The bitch of it all is that time waits for no one. So, while I stand here in this line and patiently wait my turn, I can only watch the hands of time tick away the minutes of my life that I" 'll never get back. It's a cruel fate that occurs every day of our lives. After time has come and gone, wasted away, we spend a lifetime wishing for those minutes again.
Tick, tick, tick.
The sound haunts you like the clock that haunted Captain Hook in Peter Pan, as the crocodile that swallowed his time clock stalks him every day of his life.
Tick, tick, tick.
The minutes pass as I reminisce about the past while I continue to waste more minutes in this line. I think how fast my boys are growing and how I wish they'd stay this age. But time will age them while aging me faster. A cruel fate, but life moves on. I'm learning to love the time my sons want to spend with me. How they love laying on the couch, practically on top of me, as we watch a little television. Reciting the book Silly Sally verbatim because I have read it to them so much there is no need to turn a page. Time takes away their innocence with each passing second. The minute hand pushes forward as I try to shield them from life's realities, preserving what immaculateness they have left.
I need this line to move just a little bit so I can feel that I have accomplished something in the time I have spent here, in this hell of a wait. The girl standing in front of me impatiently taps her foot, and I count the number of times it touches the ground. Her 4-inch heels and pointed-toe stilettos make the perfect ticking sound. 1,2,3,4...her time seems more valuable than mine. I feel as if my life is leaving me behind while I'm here at a standstill in front of those closed doors resting behind me.
The music above me in this stagnant line mingles with the ticking time in my head. It places me in a time I fondly remember when my family was together. I can replay the laughter and good times through the song's lyrics. Freezing time.
"Beginin' to think that I'm wastin' time. And I don't understand the things I do. The world outside looks so unkind. I'm countin' on you to carry me through...
No matter what life hardships, trials, and tribulations bring us, we must push through by remembering the good times and reflecting on the bad. When we make it through, we should be proud that we fought off time and disaster to get where we are today.
...Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away...and when my mind is free. You know your melody can move me and when I'm feelin' blue. The guitars come through to soothe me..."
So, let the time count on me; I'll find my peace before moving on and allow the world's weight to find its rightful place on the floor as it leaves my body behind. And forget this line as time ticks on. I'll waste no more waiting while life goes on.
Tick, tick, tick.
701 words
Your lil ones are just so adorable! And they look like they are the same age.
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