It's time to move forward and blog about life's journeys, discoveries and my short stories I have always wrote.
I will always be Captain Imperefecto because I lead an imperfect life.
Why is empty such a shitty thing? Like a tank of gas that displays on the gauge as running on E, being on empty can get your anxiety going. It never lets you relax. You have one eye on the fuel gauge and another eye on the look out for a gas station or the nearest highway exit. No doubt about it being empty sucks.
Empty. Like that glass of wine or your favorite drink dwindling down to the bottom. Its that last little bit you savor at the bottom of your glass afraid to take that last sip. Your eyes gaze around on the hunt for your waiter you waitress to bring you a refill before you consume the rest.
Barren. Like a desert as you search for water to quench your thrust. Your body is so depleted of nutrients that you don't even sweat. The sand is so hot that even the particles of it that dust up burns your skin. Your tongue is swollen and dry as you hunger for the taste of wetness to touch your lips. The desire to full fill your unfulfilled body forces you to continue towards the mirage. Towards the one thing that ins’t there, salvation.
Destitute. The lack of substance allows your mind to play tricks on you that forces you down into oblivion. Your body begins to give up on you because you muscles are shriveling up. The cramping is taking over and it’s preventing you from moving. Your oxygen is failing you because you your self are running on empty.
Void. The void begins to implant itself further with in you, that you can feel the beginning stages that something is missing in your life. There is nothing to fill the space with, so it will remain empty. You can pretend to fill it with whatever it is that you can find but it won’t work. The void is too far and wide and nothing will bring it together.
Lacking. The will to pursue things that will help change your plight. The emptiness you feel consuming everything that would motivate you to change. The draining of your emotions reveal the loss of support that broke down over time. The bare structure is naked revealing kinks in the pillars that hold you up emotionally. No wonder your lacking the motivation to stand on your feet.
Exhausting. You try to right yourself but when you finally have the time to do it your eyes begin to close. Your eye lids are heavy, too heavy. You can’t blink fast enough in the hope the fluttering will keep you afloat. Your mind is sitting on empty and there is nothing that you can do to prevent the sleep from creeping in. Sealing your fate of sleep rather then productivity.
Deflated. When you think you have made progress with your life only so realize that the gains were simply an aberration. All the build up just leaks out of your body when one simple act or thought takes control of your emotions. Try as you might to avoid ending up empty it never works out that way. Defeated and depleted of oxygen you can only lie where you fall and reminisce about the person you once were.
I am a human being. I am filled with all the emotions that a person can possibly have. I shouldn't have to stress about the emptiness that consumes me because I can fill it with peace and love. My soul may be barren but I can find warmth to grow whatever it is that lies beneath the soil so, I will no longer feel destitute but feel lucky that I can find life again. I will let my life grow into the voids of emptiness so that I may pursue and conquer the things I am lacking. It may be exhausting by I will embrace the rest I achieve through heavy eyes and use it to my advantage. And with my new found rest I will inflate what has deflated and come back stronger then I was before, ignoring the fact that I was once running on empty and now I am coming back stronger and more fulfilled.
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