Captain Imperfecto's Lake View

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September 05, 2012

Ever feel that your life could be on the pages of a sitcom script making fun of your most humbling moments...

[Gilligan's Island music]

"Just sit right back

And you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this modest dock,
aboard Captain Imperfecto’s tiny ship.
The first mates were tiny sailin' men,
the Captain new, but sure,
One passenger to set sail that day,
For a brief island tour,
a brief island tour.

"The weather wasn’t getting rough,
But the tiny ship was stopped.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The captain would be lost.
The captain would be lost.

 
"The ship set ground in the middle of the lake
Of this uncharted water stream,
With Christopher,
And Nico too,
Captain Imperfecto,
And his dog,
The good friend Ron, and the fun,
Here on Captain Imperfecto's lake view."

[Camera Pan in]

Viewing from the air, the camera moves in and slowly descends on our stars as they prepare the boat for launch from the boat ramp. The evening is glorious. The twilight sky shimmers on the lake reflecting back towards the heavens. The water is still and there isn’t a ripple to be seen on its surface. The truck is backing in with the trailer and the new boat on top ready for launch. The kids are strapped in their car seats as our star Captain Imperfecto backs his truck as he navigates the trailer into the water while his buddy Ron waits in the boat.

Ron

Ron is standing behind the center console of the boat

Chris! [He shouts]

Chris

[As camera zooms in on Chris que hard clapping and whistling track]

Chris stops his vehicle and exits the large 4 x 4 truck. He walks to the back of the trailer to talk with Ron. Chris is relaxed. He is wearing a t-shirt, baggy shorts and flip flops. His favorite ones. He’s a Florida boy and he enjoys living the life of a beach bum.

What’s up Ron?

Ron

Hey [in a commanding tone] just unhook the straps from the eye hook on the boat’s hull and I’ll drive the boat in reverse right off this trailer and into the water. [use hand gestures]

Chris

I don’t know Ron. [Shaking his head] The boat guy stressed to me “do not unhook these straps until the trailer and boat are fully in the water.”

Ron

Oh, please Chris he’s a salesman what does he know. [with a chuckle] Trust me. Just unhook those straps and back her up. I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ve been around boats my whole life.

[que laugh track]

Chris

Chris reiterates what he previously told Ron because deep down he knew he was right but, he does know Ron is a pretty smart boater so he decided to give Ron the benefit of the doubt.

OK. But I’m warning you Ron. He stressed to me, do not unhook these straps his exact words were, “Don’t unhook these straps whatever you do, until the boat is in the water.”

[Chris gets in the truck and slams his door. He checks his kids then his mirrors as he begins to back the trailer up.]

BOOM! 
[the noise scares the near by birds as the fly away]

A loud crash is heard and the back end of the boat falls off the trailer and hits the ground. Chris jumps out of the car and runs to the rear of the trailer where he sees his boat resting partially off the trailer and on the ground his mouth drops. His eyes wide open he just stares at Ron at a loss of words.

Chris [cont.]

Wa…Wa..Wa.. [Chris’s hands our out in front of him and he can hardly speak]

Ron

Opps, sorry Chris, I guess you were right.

[Que laughter soundtrack]

End Scene.

[Fade in]

The camera shot is from the dock as the boat pulls out from the dock and heads into the black water as the evening slowly turns to night.

Ron

Our hero's finally get on the boat. Everything works great. The music is playing from the Sony Marine stereo. All the lights are working. The engine is humming. It was a rough start in the beginning but it looks like things are going to go well. But Ron has to ruin the moment.

 Ron begins to sing the Gilligan's Island theme song

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…”

.

Chris

Not funny Ron [with a serious look in his face]

Ron

Aww Chris where’s the sense of adventure [pause] Captain Imperfecto [he pokes Chris’s chest]

[Que laugh track]

The camera follows the boat as it travels through the lake. The speed ranges from fast to slow. The only visual on the water is the boat lights illuminating the black sky and the only thing illuminating the water are the white caps from the wake the boat is creating. The boat motor is roaring but the music can be heard slightly. As Ron drives the vessel the camera zooms in on Chris embracing his boys at the bow of the ship.

Chris

Finally at the helm of his craft he kills the motor and allows the boat to just drift.

Wow [smiling and shaking his head] I love this boat.

Ron

Me too, you got a hell of a deal Chris, really I am jealous.

Chris

The boat is just floating stagnate as the water brushes up against the hull of the white fiberglass body. The slight splashes can be heard over their talking.

Well you know Ron when...

As Chris begins to talk a small splash can be heard from the right side of the boat

 Chris  [cont.]

NO! [Chris shouts]

He lunges to the side frantically kicking off his shoes and nearly diving overboard.

Ron

WHATS WRONG [he shouts back]

Chris

His head is down as he embraces the side of the boat

Christopher [ he mumbles] just threw the keys overboard.

Ron

Its okay [he says with a bit of relief] You have floats on the keys right. Just fish them out.

Chris

Looking at Ron. His hands still on the boat.

No Ron [he hangs his head] I don’t

Ron

NO! [He shouts]

[que laugh track]

Ron

[Exhaling as he speaks]

"You have a spare right?"

Chris

Hanging head further

No [pause] I don’t Ron

Ron

NO! [He shouts]

[que laugh track]

Ron

You have flares right [eyes open wide]

Chris

Chris hanging his head even further, he could practically drown himself

No, Ron, I don’t

Ron

NO! [ He shouts]

[que laughter]

[Begin slow fade out]

Ron

You got an air horn?

Chris

[Eyes wide open staring at Ron]

No Ron.

Ron

[Mouth open before he speaks]

Flares?

Chris

[shaking head]

Nope

[continue fade out]

Ron

Do you have food on board Chris? Water?

Chris

This was only suppose to be a three hour tour Ron.

As the scene fades to black a boat is seen traveling towards the boat to save the day as Chris and Ron continue their give and take on their situation.. The camera has a full shot of the lake and continues to pull out back past the dock, the trailer and the truck

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Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.

© copyright 2012. All rights reserved.

Also see us at www.captainimperfecto.com