July 10th, 2012
I went to the mall, my first since my wife died, with the boys. I avoided taking the little ones because my energy had changed since about the end of May. Lately, I have been building motivation to go anywhere from the couch.
"Okay, Chris, you can do this, GET UP! GET UP! Look, a new movie is starting on HBO, and I'll go after this." I know, defeated and disgraced.
Finally, in a burst of energy, I take flight. I grab the boys and throw on their shirts. Run to the van and strap them in the car seats. Start the car, run back inside, put on my shoes, run out the door, lock the door, jump in the car, back out of the driveway, and off to the mall.
Smiling, I feel proud that I got myself together; I glance back at my boys through the rearview mirror. I glance at myself and give a little wink. Good job, Chris. Then, from the corner of my eye, I notice a little white peaking out from my son's waist on the bottom left of the mirror.
"Shit, I forgot their pants."
When you drive about the mall, it never fails to feel the rush of excitement to see a parking spot close to the entrance, only to be let down to find out as you get closer to the place it's just a compact car you couldn't see. I always imagine the driver laughing at me as they shop somewhere throughout the mall.
"Drat's!" I exclaim, "damn those new Fiats," I grumble under my breath. My boys are oblivious to what's happening as they are cozy in their seats without a care.
I parked in no man's land, figuring I could have walked to the entrance and back by the time I circled to find a parking spot.
"Okay, boy, let go!" I shout. They don't know where we are yet, but when they figure it out, they won't be as eager as they seem now to escape their coziness.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Preparing for my exit from the van and grabbed the kids to their other seats. It's like a pre-game psych-up.
"oohh uhhh ooh uhhh," I breathe in and out rapidly. "Okay, Chris, let's do this stroller, kids, strapped in, and then go, go, go!"
I'm pumped. The adrenaline is like fuel to my veins. I jump from the van and head straight to the back of the hatch. I reach in without breaking my stride and take out the stroller. I pop it open with the ease of an umbrella. I quickly head over to Nico and snap him out of his car seat. It's so quick; all you can hear is the double "click" as the straps separate from the seatbelt clip and move from his body. I snatch him out of his seat, and before he realizes where he's at, I'm flying him to the front seat of the stroller.
"There ya go, Nico, just like that. I'll be right back gonna grab "baby."
With a quick double snap, I sweep him out of his car seat and fly him in the air by balancing him on my hands and sliding him into his place at the back of the stroller. I bend down and tickle Nico's tummy. I fly high because it was done flawlessly.
"Alright, Nico, ready to goooo!" I nudge his belly. I lean over him and reach toward "baby." I place my hands on Chirsopther's cheeks, "Way to go, Superman, let's hit the…." I take a pause; the air is stale and no longer crisp. I take a deeper whiff.
"Oh man "baby" you crapped."
We charge to the double doors of the mall by the food court entrance. I figured we'd eat first. Everyone ignores me as I pass right through. Everyone's too good to hold the door for me. As I get closer to the door, I swing the stroller backward, and with my right hand, I grip the U-shaped handle and whip it open. And run through the door. I smile because we all slid in before the door closed on us.
"Score!"
I will make space at the table by the pizza place. The boys struggle to break free, with Nico already halfway out. People sitting around us watch while he screams for me. I smile and nod like it's the cutest thing I have ever seen. I walk over with the drinks and take them out. Thankfully, they both take their seats at the table.
I spread out the food, and they began to eat. I am shocked because they don't eat anything, And I start to munch on my food. The boys jump down and run around. I can see them from where I am. It's okay to let them play. I would eat really fast and then grab them once I was done. I look down for a minute and then back up; I see Christopher staring at me while standing in line at the Chinese restaurant. I crack a smile until I feel a tap on my shoulder.
"Can I help you?" I ask, looking up at the friendly custodian cleaning up after everyone?
He doesn't say much, just points in the distance. I look in the general direction and cringe when I see Nico in the fountain. He must make a wish or dedicate himself to the mall God as the water covers him. It's okay. I did my pre-game psych-up, so I was ready, just not for a swim in the food court's water fountain. But I was ready. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Part II July 11th, 2012 8:00pm
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Did you buy yourself a big big cup of coffee?
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