The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto

You are here:  Home  » Don't Be Like Me and Assume You are Over PTSD Christopher and Nico and family enjoying pizza at one of our favorite restaurants.  July 23, 2022. July 31, 2022 I suppressed the trauma that occurred a decade ago by avoiding my thoughts of the incidents in my desire to feel normal again. If you think avoiding it was good to move forward, let's see who would want to be like me. Over the last 10 years, I have been going about my daily life as though nothing wrong had happened. Isn't that ridiculous? To assume I could just forget about being human? I mean, I got to the point where I would talk about my past trauma to people, and I was proud of myself because I thought I was a strong person for doing it. Self-thought- "Look at me, this badass cop moving on with his life after losing 2 kids and then my wife, nothing to see here." These traumatic incidents weren't a small thing, but I didn't think I was deserving of such pity, so I underplaye...

You are here:  Home  » Journey Nico and Christopher Easter day April 17, 2022. April 30, 2022 I stood in a long line at an Easter festival with 2 of my 4 children. The line was for a bounce house. It seemed like an endless journey for them to experience 30 seconds of enjoyment. At the same time, I endured 30 minutes of hell trying to keep them preoccupied until it was their turn to enter the inflatable house. A DJ was streaming music to our right. He was trying to make announcements about the current events elsewhere in the ball fields, but he was drowned out by his own music and the lack of conviction in his voice. The kids were littered everywhere like Easter eggs we would later hunt. It was sure to be a continuous madhouse throughout the day. Such is life as a parent. These rides and games were a staging area to placate the children until their age group's turn to hunt for Easter eggs in the adjourning field. It was a wild scene around me as the toddlers and young children ...

You are here:  Home  » Spreading my Love Christopher Jr. and Nico celebrating Nico's birthday at Chili's. March 12, 2022 February 28, 2022 Spreading my love to 4 of my children may seem daunting to some people because kids are so demanding. I have always been told that a parent "always favors one child over the other" before I had my own children. Being the youngest of 4 kids myself, it sure felt that way at times. My 4 boys have their personalities, and I'm in love with each one of them. I can tell you they are truly loved unconditionally. I'm always consoling one of my children in some way. Whether it's hugging, kissing, or   caressing a face, the need for my love never ends. And the return of their love is so pure and innocent that I can't help but turn on the parental protection that ensures their safety. Sure, there are times one child needs more love than the other, but supplying my love more to one doesn't drain me of my affection for an...

You are here:  Home  » Health Positivity  Max, Christopher and Nico. Halloween Hayride. October 2021. December 31, 2021 I have had healthier times in my life. These times have come in phases, much like we enjoy categorizing past decades. There was my invincible youth phase. My “I have good genetics, so I hardly get sick” phase, and now, as I get older, I’m at the “every ache and pain is some sort of end-of-life” phase. This phase is basically making me a hypochondriac.  The last couple of weeks, however, my health has really beaten me up. I am now in the “what the heck is going on with me” phase. My health concerns have humbled me because I feel and look relatively healthy. But like those noises a house makes while it is settling in the middle of the night, every new creak and bang my body will grab my attention, and I always assume the worst is going on with me.  Heading into 2022 seems directionless when it comes to being healthy. Everything is in flux as I...

You are here:  Home  » I died Five Times, a Halloween story   Pumpkin patch with Christopher and Nico October 23, 2021 October 25, 2021 I died 5 times. I'm sure of it. I mean, come on, deja vu is legit, and I have experienced it, but man, it's been on serious repeat. I'm sitting in my car, reliving this very moment once again. I'm sure of that. It's an out-of-body experience, and I have counted 5 times that I have looked upon myself in a horrific, deadly state.  The first time I died, I was sitting here in my car. Same spot. Same place. Same faces. Same sounds. My head was down, buried in my phone, reading some articles. The music plays, and I pause and listen to familiar lyrics that cause me to reminisce about a time and place. Then I go back to my phone and fiddle around. In and out of apps. On and off websites. Cruising the same sites as if it were in a familiar bar. A human figure stands to the side of my driver's window. From where I stand, I can't...

You are here:  Home  » Mentally Tough Christopher (left) and Nico enjoying McDonald's at the mall food court. August 1, 2021 August 7, 2021 *I become filled with emotion When I look at my 4 boys. I thought about this because I know I can't watch over them all the time. I just want to protect him. Protect him from the harsh world that I know. The bullies, haters, and social media warlords are using their hard words like a firing squad aiming at a poor soul sentenced to death. But where will I be when there are times like that? How can I make my boys mentally tough to ignore such mental abuse? I understand that I can't always protect him, even though constant protection is what I long to do. Ready to pounce on anyone who makes a decision to harm him. But the reality of life is that at some point, everyone must take a stand for himself. So, I will nurture him. Groom him. Give him the life tools to protect himself. But is that enough? My strength and blunt interaction with him ...

You are here:  Home  » The Seagulls Cry Christopher and Nico getting bigger.  Which means I am getting older. July 10, 2021  July 15, 2021 Have you ever heard the seagulls cry? There is nothing like hearing them while you are sitting on the beach. This is a happy place for many people who live along the coastline. I am fortunate to live close to the beach. This closeness to the Atlantic Ocean brings me free serenity. The salty air is like an intoxicant to my senses. The feeling that allows me to be free at the moment and gives me the will to cast my worries to the side.  The beach is a place where many coastal people contemplate their life choices. It is the perfect setting to measure one's problems with the backdrop of the gigantic ocean, which, in reality, is the perfect metaphor for how minor some issues really are when you place this world in perspective. Although it will not solve my stress, it will provide me some space in my mind to give me clarity. ...

You are here:  Home  » Little Faces Mr. Imperfecto, Christopher and Nico headed to baby brother Max's birthday. May 22, 2021  June 30, 2021   Facebook memories, shoot, man, you made me cry today. The picture in my memory because "you care about me": My 2 older sons sitting at a restaurant table. They look like angels. Their hair is done, their clothes clean, and they haven't aged to 10 yet. Their bright smiles filled my emotions, brought tears that welled up my bottom eyelids and sent them streaming down my face. The moment I saw those little faces again made me reminisce about that time between the ages of 5 and 10. Oh, I miss that age range. But they have moved on from those innocent days of learning and testing the boundaries of how far they could push me. Their former self encapsulated in time with that one picture will forever be emblazoned in my Facebook memories. Their smart-ass grins reminded me of their once-and-while snide little comments. They would wa...

You are here:  Home  » Connections   Nico, Christopher, Blake and Dad at the Ft. Lauderdale Air Show. Mothers Day May 9, 2021   June 3, 2021 Connections    We don't value older living people like we should, especially people who have a connection to our past. I sometimes marvel at that observation. At first, I related connections to our past movie stars. It's like 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. They link our history since movies significantly impact most of our lives.  Let's say you think of Gene Hackman, who is alive at 91 years old. He is connected to Christopher Reeves, deceased through the Superman series, or his connection with Gene Wilder since Gene was in the movie Bonnie and Clyde with him. You can think of all the connections he has had to cinema legends. These are just examples of some celebrities because he has a brilliant resume working with great actors who are long gone. If you think deeply about his significance while he's alive, Ge...

You are here:  Home  »  Redlining My Thoughts on My Way Home The boys the day before Easter April 4, 2021.    April 30, 2021 Don't you ever wish you could retract negative words from your mouth? Mainly when those words served no purpose but to hurt the person you hurled them towards. Then, after those words have been said, do you wish the person would forget you had uttered them? Yeah, that guy full of regret would be me.    While driving home in my car down this stretch of roadway, my mind wanders through the things that I have said to people in the past that I now wish I hadn't. These thoughts are redlining my brain on my way home. I hope they will subside. This blog will help future thoughts. But probably not.    Those hurtful words I talk about came out from my forked tongue that had an agenda to hurt the feelings of another person. I understand we are humans, and we say things that we don't mean or wish we could take back. But those...

You are here:  Home  » Bingo!     Celebrating Nico's 13th birthday on March 6, 2021.   March 16, 2021 In the 80s and 90s, before the Big Hard Rock Hotel was built on the Seminole Reservation, If you were traveling southbound on State Road 441 in Broward County, Florida, from the intersection of Griffin Road, you’d come across their giant bingo hall. Large signs affixed to the side would announce the 100,000 thousands of dollars for the next bingo jackpot. I never played at that bingo hall or at that time any bingo. But I grew up watching bingo. My dad allowed me to tag along while he took his mom and her friends to the Seminole Bingo and other pickup games, like the poker tables of today. I like to remember those elderly ladies my father chauffeured around as the Golden Girls of the bingo hall. Those ladies went to play bingo 3 times a week. Their desire to play the game made me curious about what I missed. Like a thief with a stolen purse, I would rifl...