I haven’t written a blog in a while, which is kind of awkward considering
there was a time when I wrote one every day. Then my daily blog became a weekly
blog, my weekly blog became a monthly blog, and this year, I’m lucky if I write
two or three in the entire year.
I’m not even sure I’ll get to my Halloween blog this year. I’ve written one
every year, but as October flies by, even that tradition feels uncertain.
It’s not that I’ve lost interest in writing. Far from it. Life just has a
demanding way of filling up every available minute. Between work, my wife, my
children, their activities, family obligations, and everything else that comes
with being an adult, the things I enjoy doing for myself sometimes get pushed
to the side.
But there is something else. Over the last year, I’ve actually been
writing quite a bit. Just not here.
I’ve been writing a novel.
After approximately fifteen months, I managed to complete the entire
manuscript. The concept, the outline, the characters, and the story from
beginning to end. Now, before I start congratulating myself too much, there’s
still a lot of work ahead. Editing, rewriting chapters, fixing plotlines, and
questioning whether certain scenes should have ever existed in the first place.
But, hey, whatever happens to the final product, I can feel good that I
finished it.
And considering how many times I questioned whether I would, I think I
deserve at least a small pat on the back.
So maybe I haven’t been here much this year, but I’m here today, and I’ll
be here tomorrow.
I won’t lie. This year has been hard. Not just for me, but for a lot of
people. And sometimes, with everything life throws at us, finding the time to
appreciate the moment isn't always easy.
When I first started writing this blog, it wasn’t about finding humor in
everyday life or looking at the world through a different lens. It was about
grief.
It was about trying to understand loss, learning how to cope with it, and
figuring out how to keep moving after something changes you permanently. I
wrote about the pain, the confusion, the anger, and the emptiness. I wrote
about the strange process of recovering from something you never truly recover
from. I wasn’t sure what being here truly meant.
Because that’s the part people don’t always understand about grief. You
don’t necessarily heal from it in the way people imagine. You learn to live
with it. You learn how to carry it. Over time, it may become less overwhelming,
but it never completely disappears.
The loss remains part of you.
Eventually, my blog began to change. The grief was still there, but it
wasn’t the only thing I wanted to write about. I started looking at life
differently. Sometimes that meant finding humor in something ridiculous. Other
times, it meant looking for the brighter side of a situation that, at the
moment, didn’t appear to have one.
But that perspective didn’t come from pretending everything was fine. It
came from knowing what it felt like when everything wasn’t fine. And I thought
that by sharing my own experiences, I might help someone who was going through
something similar but didn't feel comfortable opening up about it.
Life is demanding. When you’re in the middle of something difficult, it
can be hard to imagine getting through it. The problems seem enormous, the
solutions seem nonexistent, and every day feels like a continuation of the one
before it.
But somehow, you get through it.
Then time passes, distance gives you perspective, and you look back
wondering how something that once consumed so much of your thoughts eventually
became just another chapter in your life.
Sometimes you even wonder how the hell you managed to survive it.
For most people, change is what makes life difficult. But lately, I think
the hardest part has been how much everything seems to stay the same lately and
most of us are feeling it.
The economy sucks. Fuel prices suck. Politics suck. Everything seems more
expensive, more complicated, and more exhausting than it needs to be.
And tomorrow? Well, tomorrow looks suspiciously like today.
Where’s the change?
Seasons change. Unless, of course, you live in South Florida, where our
seasons are generally hot, hotter, ridiculously hot, and a few scattered days
when everyone suddenly remembers they own a jacket.
But elsewhere, even the darkest winter eventually gives way to spring.
The trees begin to bloom, the days grow longer, and the world starts looking
beautiful again.
The world was beautiful the entire time. Sometimes the weather, much like
our circumstances, just makes it difficult to see. Some of us are fortunate
enough to live in places others would consider paradise, yet we get so caught
up in everyday life that we forget to appreciate what's right in front of us.
Maybe that’s what we need to remind ourselves of occasionally.
That even when things aren’t going particularly well, there’s still
something worth appreciating about being here today.
I’ve never been a big believer in sitting around feeling sorry for
myself. That’s not to say I don’t get frustrated, discouraged, or occasionally
wonder what the hell I’m doing. Believe me, I do.
But at some point, you have to put your head down and push through it.
Set a goal. Work toward it. Make mistakes. Fix them. Turn the page and
keep moving.
Don’t become a victim of your circumstances simply because changing them
requires more effort than you anticipated.
And don’t resign yourself to the idea that whatever you’re experiencing
today has to become your tomorrow.
I remind myself of that whenever I sit down to work on my novel.
There are nights when I reread something I’ve written and think it’s
pretty damn good. Then there are nights when I read the same chapter and wonder
whether I’ve spent fifteen months writing something nobody will ever care
about.
That’s self-doubt. And I imagine anyone who’s ever attempted something
difficult has experienced it.
But what am I supposed to do? Quit?
After all that work?
Maybe the book gets published. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe someone reads it
and loves it. Maybe someone reads the first chapter and decides they’d rather
reorganize their sock drawer.
I can’t control any of that.
I think the same principle applies to just about everything in life.
You can’t always control the circumstances you find yourself in, but you
can control how you respond to them. You can look at a problem as something
that’s going to defeat you or as something you haven’t figured out how to
overcome yet.
That doesn’t mean every problem has an easy solution. Some don’t. Some
take months, years, or a whole lot more patience than we think we have.
But standing still and waiting for things to magically improve isn’t much
of a strategy either.
And maybe that’s the point of this whole blog.
This year hasn’t always cooperated. Things haven’t always turned out the
way I planned. There have been setbacks, disappointments, and days when I’ve
questioned whether I’m making any progress at all.
But I’m still here.
And as long as I’m here, there’s still an opportunity to do something
about it.
Adulting is hard enough without pretending everyone is dealing with the
same version of it. Some people are raising children. Some are caring for
parents. Some are working multiple jobs. Some are trying to recover from
something nobody else can see. Some are simply trying to figure out what comes
next.
Whatever your situation is, if you’re making an effort to keep going, you
deserve some credit.
So take a look around. Appreciate what you have. Work toward what you
want. Find something that puts a smile on your face.
And when today isn’t what you hoped it would be, remember that there is life tomorrow.
Because unlike the old saying, here today, gone tomorrow, I’d
rather look at life a little differently.
I’m here today.
I’ll be here tomorrow.
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