Nico enjoying some KFC and caught him off guard before the picture!
June 1, 2016
*This blog is not a reflection on anyone that I know, including not a reflection of myself or my current situation. It was just a thought I had after talking with a few people regarding their own situations. It was 1400 words so I broke it into 2 parts. This is part II" - cf
You need to stop throwing a tantrum and viciously complaining that I hurt you, when all you do is hurt me, with your words, without any regard for me, or my feelings. You want to snap at me because you think I haven't done enough for you. Frankly, I have done too much for
you. Only a child would seek out what he or she lost without giving much thought
of what he or she once had. I will no longer take the blame for your
insecurities and watch you toss my good times away to satisfy your inner child.
Grow up I didn’t raise you.
Stop searching for the past for how things used to be. Your
new present, will not include the new me, the old me is long gone, therefore I
will no longer be there for you when no one else wants to deal with you. You
need not look for reassurance from me to help you feel better about yourself.
I’m better than you I finally figured that out.
I’d rather be happy for myself, because if having you near
me means I will sacrifice my mood in order to change yours I’m not interested.
Until you learn to return my love and happiness, your situation is never going to change
so I will change the situation by walking away. You aren't taking me down with you.
Since we are creatures of habit, you’ll never change. I understand that you will never learn to love another as much as I loved you. Please understand this message: I finally got the courage to walk out of your life. I need to be better to myself since you don’t have my best interest in mind. No one will ever care about me more than I should care for myself. And before I go I have a few note taking tips for you so that when you meet someone else, who you feel you can take advantage of, be wise and understand, there’s more to life than your BS so belittling your new love will only end in the same results. And that is an unhappy life.
Since we are creatures of habit, you’ll never change. I understand that you will never learn to love another as much as I loved you. Please understand this message: I finally got the courage to walk out of your life. I need to be better to myself since you don’t have my best interest in mind. No one will ever care about me more than I should care for myself. And before I go I have a few note taking tips for you so that when you meet someone else, who you feel you can take advantage of, be wise and understand, there’s more to life than your BS so belittling your new love will only end in the same results. And that is an unhappy life.
This is the day I tell you, that I will no longer place your
happiness above mine. You’re on notice, my happiness counts; therefore, I can
no longer spare another once of my happiness on someone who will just
throw away the joy I so unselfishly handed to you by sacrificing my own needs. I
can no longer idly stand by and watch you mock me and blame me for the problems
that you have incurred due to your inability to take responsibility for your
actions. And I will no longer stand in a corner as if I did something wrong. I
will stand firm in my position and resolve, and have the courage to tell you, how
bad you made me feel with your ugly attitude. I have done nothing wrong and yet
I act as if I was the one who inflected pain on you.
You so willingly took advantage of all of my emotions
because you knew you had an easy target. It isn’t my fault I wear my emotions
on my sleeve. It’s your fault for preying on my emotions and pecked at my heart
while you emotionally beat me up.
Sadly you will never allow yourself to see how your words
have destroyed me emotionally. And how
your silence killed me when I had to seek out your approval for forgiveness
even when you were wrong and you ignored my pleas for forgiveness that you
didn’t deserve. You don’t even listen to me when I told you how badly you hurt
me with your words and inactions. I finally realized you don’t give a damn how
I felt.
I can no longer sit by so you can live happily knowing that
I will reassure your happiness by giving you the things with the money I worked
so hard for and silently cry inside as I watch you demean me and destroy the
hard work I put into your thoughtful gifts so you can take it without uttering the words, thank you. I won’t give up the things I enjoy so that you can keep me for
yourself; I’m not you entertainment.
I have moved forward, and left you behind. Today, I will no
longer be miserable in order to assure you that you don’t have to be sad. I’m
sad, recognize it, because I matter and if you feel that you are above my
happiness then it is time for me to bring you down to earth, where you can
clearly hear me tell you that I won’t be unhappy to make you happy any longer.
I’m long gone, this ship has sailed. And you refuse to see it as if you own me.
Honey, you don’t own me. You don’t even own a car.
I won’t stop living because I made you my life and now our
life together is over. You so selfishly held me back while other people I know
have done things with their life. You couldn’t even take me to a movie or
dinner without groaning. You already prepared me for dinner for one. I don’t
need to drink from your well. That well is dry.
I want to tell you that you don’t have to be unhappy if you
can help it. No one cares about what makes you happy more than yourself. Some
of us try too hard to make someone else happy because his or her happiness, in
return, gratifies you. But ask yourself this. "Is that person returning
happiness to me?" Because you sure as hell don't seem happy.
Return love to a loved one, and a love, who you are ignoring. Everyone knows you
are selfishly receiving all the joy without caring about the person who is
providing that source of your good times. It’s sad their good deeds go without your acknowledgment and their effort is shattered by your insensitivity. Love that person dearly for he or she is the one that so
desperately needs you to open your arms and smother them with understanding. And sadly it's too late. I smothered your love. MY feelings for you are dead. If you are reading this shared blog then it’s probably too late to try.
The love you failed to return is now offered to someone else and this is my breakup anthem to tell you I can live on without you.
Click here to read, Return the Love part I
Pictures aren't perfect. This is another off guard picture! Christopher in slow motion!
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