Honeymoon Disney Cruise aboard the Disney Cruise ship, Dream. November 4, 2016
Nico left. Christopher right.
November 14, 2016
I wish "do-overs" could be handed out to people like the car Oprah Winfrey would give away during one of her television shows as she shouts her iconic phrase, "You get a car, and you get a car…"
"You get a do-over!!"
"And you get a do-over!"
"And you!"
And so on.
I'm trying to convey that your current situation is not a life sentence. And that if life handed you an opportunity to reset or a "do-over," you should jump on that opportunity.
People have complicated lives, and stopping participating in society is easy. But being a victim or sitting on the sidelines and watching the rest of the people live their easy lives won't help your current situation improve. Things won't be given to you. Most people aren't born lucky. Your chances of getting a car on Oprah is like winning the lottery. The chances are slim to none.
When my life turned for the worse, I sat on my hands and felt sorry for myself. Eventually, I found the strength to go out and fight for what I believe in my kids. And I forged ahead, taking my wife's death with me, and attempted to live again with a greater purpose. Why should I continue to feel sorry for myself? No one cares about my success more than me. All my friends have moved on past my loss.
Do I have to subscribe to my misery? I shouldn't when I can acknowledge that everyone has a story to tell about grief and sorrow, but somehow, other people survived it. You are not alone. Every one of us has taken the long road before success strikes. Those moments test our ability to survive and function in this world. So stop testing yourself, believe in yourself, and get it done right the first time. Do not resign to your fate. Just realize that you are worthy of good things.
Did a life lesson set you back? Push forward. Are things harder for you than they should be? Fight back for greatness. Other people seem to be more successful than you? Go out and grab success because no one will care more than what is going on in your life. Don't like the election? Fight for your beliefs, and make the vote count next time.
I can't pinpoint why I have such a hard time getting things I want to be accomplished the first time. Sure, it's easy to write how positive I am in my blogs (which isn't always; read other blogs and see), but acting on those good things is much more fulfilling than talking about them. How do I think better and change my feelings about myself when I fail?
I want to make better decisions to stop negativity in my life. "Achieve it, Chris." But the other day, I still failed when I placed my faith in being positive! That makes me question why I had faith in it when I felt deep down that being positive would magically turn it around.
Where is my motivation?
I look for the good things in life. We all go through some sort of minor bouts of depression that change our way of thinking. That depression can destroy any "rah-rah" pep speech we may give ourselves to talk ourselves into doing greater things tomorrow. Failing after I decided to look at life positively just to be negative gain isn't where I want to be in this life. It's time to be optimistic that life will work out during the times I fail, and I believe that good things will happen for good people when those good people don't give up.
It is OK to fear the unknown when we anticipate something will go bad during our happy moments. It is OK to get your hopes up for something that may not happen because it is the hope that releases happiness. And in that happiness, we find the strength to recover if we don't get it. Not everyone is a winner. People who are winners have failed before, but the key difference is that they learned about themselves in the process of losing and corrected what they needed to fix to achieve good things. For you to win, you must work harder to believe in yourself.
I'm not all words here. I took my own advice. Let you, the readers, know what I have been cooking up over here in my world. I have decided to live life again after the death of my twins and my wife. I must jump on my do-over before life's negativity beats me. By living this life, I gave in and allowed my happiness to take over.
I got remarried.
I never thought a woman could love me more than she loves herself, and never in my wildest dreams would I think a girl would take on the responsibility of a widowed man and his 2 young children. Especially after all the turmoil I caused in my own life over the years since my wife died. The ups and downs I fought through to find this place in my life was the hardest road I had to travel. I found a person who loves the boys and me. I decided to jump on the opportunity by doing a do-over of my life.
The only advice I can give you is to live your life while you're in the present and do your best to learn and move on from the past. Do your best to be positive because being negative is way too easy to dismiss the good you deserve. Live life without hesitation because we will never get younger.
I'm happy, and I don't have to pretend it is due to Oprah pointing at me and yelling in her lovely voice, "You get a do-over!" I give myself a do-over. I allow myself to be positive, and I will allow myself to enjoy the good things that may be heading my way.
I'm still afraid that my happiness will be sabotaged, so I'm treading lightly. But who am I to stop my future wife's happiness? That girl walked into my life and has made my world a better place. She loves those kids as if they were hers. I accept my do-over and challenge you to do the same and disregard whatever demon you're fighting. Now, that is positive thinking. If this blog wasn't motivating enough, imagine I'm pointing at you and yelling, "You just got a do-over!"
1,085 words
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Taking a selfie while teaching a class. Nov. 7, 2016
Don't worry they were on break!
Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.
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