It's time to move forward and blog about life's journeys, discoveries and my short stories I have always wrote.
I will always be Captain Imperefecto because I lead an imperfect life.
Damn this line is long. My feet hurt from my body weight being pulled down by gravity placing it firmly on my lower bone structure. It’s from standing in one place so long. I roll on the balls of my feet trying to displace the weight. To where? I have no idea.
Life’s a waiting game. Wait for your mail and that important letter or check to arrive. Waiting on a phone call that you tell yourself will never come but deep down you hope it will. Waiting for your favorite amusement ride so that maybe you can bring a little joy to your life, even if it’s for only for 30 seconds or more. Waiting for life to take hold and catapult you into the place you always hoped you would be once upon time that seems so long ago now.
The bitch of it all is that time waits for no one. So while I stand here in this line and patiently wait my turn I can only watch the hands of time tick away the minutes of my life that I”ll never get back. It’s a cruel fate that occurs everyday of our lives. And after the time has come and gone, wasted away, we spend a life time wishing for those minutes again.
Tick, tick, tick.
The sound haunts you like the clock that haunted Captain Hook in Peter Pan, as the crocodile that swallowed his time clock, stalks him everyday of his life.
Tick, tick, tick.
The minutes pass as I reminisce about the past, while I continue to waste more minutes in this line. I think how fast my boys are growing and how I wish they’d stay this age. But time will age them, while aging me faster. A cruel fate, but life moves on. I’m learning to love the time my sons want to spend with me. How they love laying on the couch, practically on top of me, as we watch a little television. Reciting the book Silly Sally verbatim because I have read it to them so much there is no need to turn a page. The time taking away their innocence with each passing second. The minute hand pushes forward as I take more time trying to shield them from the realities of life preserving what immaculateness they have left.
I need this line to move just a little bit so I can feel that I have accomplished something in the time that I have spent here, in this hell of a wait. The girl who is standing in front of me impatiently taps her foot and I count the times it touches the ground. Her 4 inch heels and pointed toe stilettos making the perfect ticking sound. 1,2,3,4...her time seems more valuable then mine. I feel as if my life is leaving me behind while I'm here at a stand still in front of those closed doors resting behind me.
The music playing above me in this stagnant line mingles with the ticking time in my head. It places me in a time that I remember fondly, when my family was together. The laughter and good times I can replay through the lyrics of the song. Freezing time.
"Beginin' to think that I'm wastin' time.And I don't understand the things I do.The world outside looks so unkind .I'm countin' on you to carry me through...
No matter what life hardships, trials and tribulations brings us, it's up to us to push through, by remembering the good times and reflecting on the bad. And when we make it through, we should be proud of the fact we fought off time and disaster to get where we are today.
...Give me the beat boys and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away...and when my mind is free. You know your melody can move me and when I'm feelin' blue. The guitars come through to soothe me..."
So let the time count on, I'll find my peace before moving on, and allow the weight of the world to find it's rightful place on the floor as it leaves my body behind. And forget this line as time ticks on, I'll waste no more waiting while life goes on.
I wake up in the morning feeling groggy. My eye lids are so paper thin that the light from the illuminating numerals of the alarm clock penetrates them. I know I have to raise my weary body to take on the day, but today there has to be a better way to start my gloomy outlook. Maybe I can just lay here in my comatose state and not even start my day to begin with.
But alas, I know my day must begin. Somehow, I have to find my functionality and pull my dead weight up from this bed. I sit-up from my position. The covers roll off my lifeless body. I am so cold and yet I am too tired to pull the covers-up over my cold pale skin in an attempt to warm myself up as I continue to sit in my current place. I moan from the tiredness that ravages my body. I know I need to get the started so I drag my lifeless body of the edge of the bed and make my way towards bathroom.
Upon making it to the bathroom I feel DOA. I’m so zombies, er, I mean zoned out not even coffee is going to help shake me out of my morbid state.
Mindlessly, I enter the bathroom with little care of turning on the bathroom light, it would only be a distraction because I am sensitive to the light. I’ve used this toilet a million times. I assume my aim will hit its intended target. Unfortunately for me the toilet lids down. But what do I care today that there's a slight mess. There's a lot more horrid things going on in this world then just a little bit of misplaced urine.
After my unfortunate incident to pee I attempt to brush my teeth and rid myself of the ghastly plaque build up. But I'm so despondent I don't care on this day. And I go against the agreement of 4 out of 5 doctors recommendations and don't finish brushing, nor do I floss. I don't think a threat of an infection will matter at this point.
I walk out of the bathroom and because I'm dragging my feet I slam my left foot into the door jam. I am so melancholy I do not feel the pain. I just walk with a noticeable limp. My moans can be heard throughout the house. The sound is so eerie the echo sounds like a poltergeist has decided to take up shop in my home and haunt my residence.
I go into the kitchen and without enthusiasm I make myself breakfast. Oatmeal, it's what I am in the mood for in my aberrant mentality. I heat up some water and pour it in my bowl. This is no frill oatmeal, no fruit to lighten the mood. I stir up the gray brain matter, er, I mean particles of oat and wheat add a little sugar and woof it down. The flavor was so good the texture just right it left me craving for more.
I dig up some old clothes that I found buried in the drawers of my dresser. The shirts and pants were weathered and worn out but that’s the style these days. Holes in the knees of the jeans and an old shirt with red paint stains that reminded me of a time that I wore it on my hunt for people...that sold painting supplies.
I limp out my door to face the world and the day. There is a lot of people looking my way. I limp passed them feeling pessimistic about the human race as they gawked at my face. I glance over at the large windowpane that is casting my reflection and what a ghastly sight I saw.
My hair was a mess and the residue of toothpaste outlined my mouth. My shirt was torn and there was little more red paint on it then what I remembered from before. My pants were a more shredded then I intended. The pee stain still evident down my leg. My eyes were bloodshot and my skin pale. I appeared ghoulish and my attitude was grim.
What a day of all days to walk with a limp and moan in pain from my foot along with the tiredness that consumes me. I feel unhealthy and moody but I got out of bed which is half the battle no matter how frightful I appear because I can honestly say of all days today I feel like I’m in a zombie state of mind. So, run away, be afraid when you see me limping your way.
10 AM. I’ll go. Ugh, no just don’t want to drive. My left and right side of my mind is in such an argument.
12 PM. Not gonna do it. I ain’t going, I don’t care, my mind is made up.
3 PM. What was that pop? Shit, the power is out due to light winds from hurricane Sandy.
"Let’s go boys. We are going to Disney World! That’s right, surprise! I didn’t want to spoil your surprise but I can’t hold in the suspense any longer! I've been planning it all day!"
These long road trips are good for the soul but they’re also hard to travel at times because, well, where as before I thought the thinking was good for me, now there is too much thinking that's going on in my brain and now my mind begins to stretch like this highway, off into infinity. So, I try to distract myself by pretending to try and keep the car in-between the lines. But of course with my precious cargo in the backseats of the van I keep the van’s wheels straight and it’s steady as she goes.
The boys get lost in TV, while I lose myself in my mind (in a good way). When you have time to think, memories come at you as fast as those tail lights from the cars that were once off in the distance that now come screaming towards you as I close the distance in my mini-van. Sometimes, I wish I could slam on my breaks on a certain memory and ask myself, “what the hell were you thinking?” But life doesn't afford anyone those opportunities.
But this is a pleasure trip. An escape from reality. It's time to put it those thoughts to rest at the nearest stop, because Disney World approaches, and it's time to let the fun begin!
I have learned now that I need to find help for the little things to make the trip a little more tolerable. Unfortunately, it's the little things that cost money.
Valet, yes. <cha ching>
Baggage check, yes. <cha ching>
Premium room close to activities, yes. <cha ching>
Room service, yes. <cha ching>
I’m a glutton for punishment and over exhaustion, in the name of good times, but in the mist of my over achieving quest for fun, I find that my mind wanders into the depths of deep thought and I find myself trying harder to lose track of the things that lay in wait distracting me from my steadiness and make me fret about retuning home from our adventures. The need not to be be around my area where I reside when I have my long weekends off from work compels me to fill the days with as much activities as I can. Like my boys filling their voids of time by playing; I am using my time, consumed with checking us into our hotel ...
“Yes guys the doors open automatically. It is truly amazing what happens when those electronic devices sense you have a soul," I tell the boys as they stand in the doorway.
The boys love the automatic doors. I swear I could have went to the mall and allowed them to use their presence to open and close the entrance doors and saved a whole lot of money. The Disney staff smiles at me as the boys Tango with the doors but who am I to cut into their dance and ruin the mood. Besides the distraction is allowing me to complete the check-in process.
Now off to Epcot madness.
“Here we are Epcot,” I announce to the boys while the song, “ When you wish upon the a star, makes no difference who you are...” plays in the background.
The boys jump out of the stroller and head towards the large Epcot sphere. Okay, the golf ball looking thing. They point and shout in amazement of something so large. To them it is amazing...
Oh, yes and so is the automatic door by the gift store, as I was saying they love those doors and now...they’re playing with them. open... ...close... open.... ...close... "Okay guys, the door concept is down. Open, close. Now, ready for some magic time?"
We went on a few rides and ate a late dinner at the the closest dining halldinning hall. My sons are so brave. While I wait for our food they courageously fight off the large plant that was placed in front of the stairs to prevent people from going up to the upper level dining area that was closed for the evening. Once they heroically casted of the make shift green leafed terror they tackled the flight of stairs that led to the upper seating area. While there, they diligently patrolled the stairs... up... ....down... up... down... Their actions prevented other guests from entering the forbidden areas. Well that’s what I told the manager who told me to get my kids, anyhow...
We make it back to our room where our luggage is there waiting for us. Dropped off by the service, whew, I'm beat and I know the boys will crash. It’s 11PM they must be tired.
Guys, its 12 AM, you must be tired.
Okay it’s 1 AM time for bed, You are tired!
Well, at least they will sleep in. We will all sleep in. We had such a long day.
“Daddy, iPad, please.”
“Huh, Nico, what. What time is it?”
Ugh, it’s 7:53 AM.
Well, I suppose we will all get up and enjoy some breakfast and then the Disney Animal Park.
After taking care of all the early morning needs we are off to the over priced Disney dinning hall. But man is it beautiful. Disney knows how to make an impression.
The look of the land makes one feel like your on the Louisiana Bayou. It's a swamp land paradise. A river runs next to the restaurant while the power of the water turns the large 4 story wheel that churns the water. Willy Wonka would be proud. Docks line the sides where one could play a frolic in the outside banks of the mighty Mississippi.
The dining hall is made out of ceder. The naked beams give you the feeling and warmth of a large cabin but with lots of people jocking for food position. Ahhh, just like home. We are ready to eat! And the boys are ready to enjoy their breakfast.
“No guys, Cheetos is not breakfast.”
“No, Doritos”
“Put down the lollipops, it’s breakfast for God sakes.”
Well, after I enjoyed my breakfast, we headed to Disney's Animal Kingdom. This should be fun. They are going to love it.
After the long walk to the entrance we made another long walk to Dinosaur Land. I mean this should be great, after all Jurassic Park the movie was awesome, so will this!
We enter the Dinosaur area and the only thing there that was fossilized was the old parking lot where Disney placed this amusement stuff on, in obvious haste to add more kid things to do.
The old parking spaces are still there from yesteryear. The old black top driving surface with it’s yellow lines were still fossilized in time. The white turn arrows for traffic direction were sill in their same exact spaces. Wow, Disney pulled out all the stops!
After hours of walking around and not witnessing anyone jump in the animal pits, and being bored, we drove back to the hotel for some rest and relaxation before we were to go to the Magic Kingdom later in the evening. I do not suggest Animal Kingdom for a 3 and 4 year old. Just nothing really to do. Time to Rest...
3:30 PM Take a nap guys.
4:15 PM You boys look so sleepy go to bed and take a nap.
5:30 PM "Huh, What, I must of dosed off. You guys are still up? Okay Disney time.
We traveled in style to the happiest place on earth, the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World on the monorail, the boys new obsession.
The hordes of people were overwhelming. The crowds were thick. The people were bunched up and crammed together four wide like the last turn at Daytona Speedway, racing for the checkered flag. The people trying to leave the park, while we tried to enter the park, approached us like the living dead who were ready to take you out. If you weren’t fast enough the masses would swallow you up and you'd never be heard from again. It was a battle of the wills, a cage match of warm bodies and bad attitudes. And that was just the Disney Characters. After riding out the tons of people and dealing with the happy parents from all over the world we were able to enjoy our favorite rides until it was time to call it a night. The boys were beat. It was close to midnight and we had been on the go non-stop since early in the morning they surely sleep now. I mean they were going to sleep as soon as possible. Well, I'm hoping they were tired. "Guys, are you tired? Boys? Yes open the doors, let the people out. Yes they are automatic... Yes, it looks like fun... aren't you tired?" Life moves as fast. As fast as those boys The trick is finding the happy medium and just keeping it steady as she goes.
