Mindless Thoughts Before Tomorrow Comes

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August 29th, 2012

I sit in my car's driver's seat, waiting for my red light to turn green. Cars move before me, their patience paying off as they charge through the green light. My thoughts are so deep I don't even know they're there. But they must be because they are interrupting my concentration. I'm caught between my deep thoughts and staring into the far-off distance occupying my mind.

The clouds above me are dark and moving fast across the sky, begging for my attention, but I don't look up. I still stare straight ahead. Much like the cars moving left to right in front of my windshield, I don't have to pay attention to know they are there. The clouds are as large as the ocean, encompassing everything that gets in its way, including deep-thought motorists, who know a lot about them for someone not seeming to care.

The day is gloomy for a mid-afternoon. It's the perfect backdrop for my mood. Is everyone like this- I think.

People shop from behind my car window, wondering what is going on with the walks of life as they pass me along the sidewalks that are married with the asphalt in which my car rests. The people are only window-shopping, without any real clothing goal; however, they seem to have lots of places to be, but why is everyone in such a rush to go somewhere without really getting anywhere? At least the clouds have a place to go before they wreak havoc on these people below.

My trance is fixated on the feet of the people as they hurriedly walk from one shop to the next. Their feet stop momentarily so I can catch a glimpse. In contrast, they stop to drool over this coming Fall fashion accessories.  

"Ugly shoes," I say, shifting my eyes to the next pair that walks on by. 

Moving with speed to their next destination. Much like the cars that are passing in front of me. I don't have to pay attention to know that they are there. They are just people in a rush, ignoring those around them without making a fuss.

I look beyond the people on the streets and glimpse the mannequins in the windows and the clothes they wear. 

Who dresses them and why? Who decides what goes where? Were they in a rush to dress them much like the people that stop and stare – I think to myself. 

I don't have to wear the clothes to know I won't shop there. I'll shop from my car with my phone if I want to kill some time before it's time to get the green light and go.

I zone out and wonder what my next move is and if I will break through to the other side of life. I want to reach my dreams and fulfill my own destiny when all I'll ever do is write for a living. My thoughts deepen much like the thickness of the clouds overhead as my mind races like those feet that pound the concrete to get around. Right now, I can only window shop and hope that one day things will be okay and work their way out, much like those shoppers buying those clothes from the mannequins, hoping they choose the right dress that will bring them their own success.

If it wasn't for the people…

"Honk" 

The horn jolts me out of my mindless thoughts as I press on my gas and move out of their way fast. I don't know what's my rush; I really have no place to go, but apparently, all the people sitting in their cars behind me have a much better life than me as they go around my car at my law-abiding speed, screaming- Move out of the way so our ass can go before tomorrow comes!

640 words

https://twitter.com/FusaCmee

Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.

© Copyright 2012- 2024 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be republished, rewritten or redistributed without permission.  Please contact if you would like to re-publish in film, television or print. 

Also see us at www.captainimperfecto.com

Field of Dreams

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August 27th, 2012

The freshly cut grass greets me as the aroma tantalizes my senses. There's nothing better than stepping on the grass of an open field filled with possibilities. The sight before me is endless in my field of dreams. It's where I can be a kid again and frolic in the wide-open spaces.

This field is where I can discover my youth again. Like a kid, I run and play, remembering when I was a child playing freeze tag with all my friends. To be young again with my friends would indeed be remarkable! The soft grass beneath my bare feet comforts me by allowing me to reminisce about my youthful innocence before discovering life's harsh realities. Why does my fountain of youth only exist in my memories?

It's out here on these green canvases between the white lines that mark off the field as I run from line to line. It's the orange dirt woven into the fabric of Mother Nature's lush green carpet. My youth can be found in the frolicking kite hovering high above my kids. It floats in the wind and surveys those on the land enjoying life unfolding around us. Gliding along the breeze, the plastic flaps make a snapping sound. The sound gently floats down, only to drown in my kid's laughter. The fountain is found in the drinks that quench my soul while I share a drink with my kids as we enjoy a picnic on top of the green surface, smiling while we watch others play around us.

It is easy to find joy in others, especially children because they know no better about life other than the green pastures out in front of them. They don't worry about that kite falling from the sky or other children at play running into them. They don't care if they fall on the field because they get back up, ignoring daddy's appeal to "shake it off." They don't care about the ants that may find their way to our food as we sit in our perfect picnic spot. They live as we used to, without real thought and planning for the future. They live in the moment. 

This field is where I want to be. I want to run off all my fears and force them to the sidelines. I want my worries to drain from my sweat and leave them on the field so I may feel like myself again. 

I am still determining what I can envision doing in this large swath of land. The possibilities are endless. And it isn't hard to reminisce about those crisp fall days when the day was in its twilight. The cool air rushes into your lungs as you take deep breaths, allowing it to wake up your soul. The field lights brighten, overtaking the sun's weak rays. Forcing them to retreat back into the sky as you stand in amazement. At the same time, I admire the bright orange sky clashing with the clear blue atmosphere as the darkness begins to shroud it, forcing it to sleep so that life may regroup and start anew.

This field is where life starts. It is where our food is grown, and our animals roam. We build our homes here, where the roots of our family are formed. It is a place where endless possibilities are only limited by our imagination. 

This field is where I can again find myself in the joy of my children's laughter and fun while I watch them play, much like I used to. Where they live like I used to live, in the carefree spaces. 

They know where I long to be as they grab my hand and pull me onto their field. They want me to live a life, their life, the one they only know. I want to play in their field of dreams so I can remember what my dreams used to be. They want me to enjoy life and play and to be a kid again with them. Today, I will forget that I am an adult with responsibility and will partake in their field of dreams, and we will be one.

693 words

https://twitter.com/FusaCmee

Christopher Fusaro. The author of Captain Imperfecto.

© Copyright 2012- 2024 Captain Imperfecto, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be republished, rewritten or redistributed without permission.  Please contact if you would like to re-publish in film, television or print. 

Also see us at www.captainimperfecto.com