Christopher embracing Champ our yellow lab
April 22, 2015
I’m %99.99 percent sure, that I’m %100.00 accurate that no
one has visited Mimie’s grave since she was buried on March 23, 2012. Damn that
makes me feel sad that people just don’t care.
I don’t get it? I can understand why people don’t visit my
daughters, Sophia and Gabriella. That was more of a personal loss for Mimie and
I. I suppose if Mimie was buried back home in Colorado by her family they would
be there more often but I didn’t bury her there because I knew that Mimie
wanted to be buried near her daughters. Besides her boys are living with me in
Florida and I’m sure they will want time with their mom more often as they get
older and better understand her loss.
I suppose it’s easy for me to say that I want our family,
and hers, to go by there more often since I do it all the time. I go see her
and them a lot. I place out flowers every other Sunday that I work since I’m
close to the cemetery.
It’s been three years since her death. Man, time goes fast.
I remember times with her as I begin to move forward myself. I never thought
I’d get to this point but I have pushed on. And I don’t have a choice because
my young sons will move on without me so in a sense; they are the ones dragging
me with them.
At times when I go visit the cemetery I just sit in my seat
and allow the music of the moment to take over. The tunes of the song working
it’s way out of the speaker as the notes drift in the air and into my ears.
Depending on the song it can be quite soothing to allow the music to take over
my mood.
While the music plays I gaze outside and fixate my glare to
the life that is around me. Despite everything that ails me and no matter what the world brings me, life is moving on.
I see the birds flying around high above in the
clear blue sky. Their flight seems to synchronize dancing in the air as the swirl around each other. My vision quickly captures two
squirrels playing a game of tag with each, around the base of trees, up and down the tree truck they go, living the
life they only know. The workers here steadily doing their ob by cutting the grass, trimming the hedges and digging new holes continuing their life even though they are surrounded be other peoples deceased loved ones.
Life is ever moving forward and I know I have to catch up
somehow and with a little bit of urgency. It’s only now that I realize I don’t
have to leave the past and the people buried here, in this cemetery, in order
to go forward, into another part of my life, and just go on push forward, break
free just like nature is doing right before my very eyes and what most of my
family has done %100 of the time.
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