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Same Ole Me

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Nico and Christopher marveling at the Catedral de la Almudena, Madrid, Spain. December 29, 2019.



December 30, 2019


New year. New me. I’m sure you’ll see that from many online friends while scrolling through your timeline on Twitter or seeing it plastered on your Facebook wall leading up to the new year, 2020. 

But I can honestly say that whatever inspirational quotes I see on a social media platform or Peloton ad shoved down my throat, you’ll always have the same ole me.  

New day, new month, and new decade. I’m the same ole me. 

Don’t get me wrong and think that by declaring that I’m the same ole me, I have stopped growing and evolving and have not learned from my past mistakes or hard lessons. I’m just declaring that I can change my attitude, body, and mind, but I’m the same old me at my core. 

As 2019 closes and the last decade finds its place in the history books, I would love to have a better decade this time. I had a rough start to the beginning of 2010.  Two years in 2012, my wife died. I was placed in a tailspin for 2 years. I was angry at everyone for my lack of help with my kids. But with guidance and self-help, I successfully pulled out of it.    

I’m grateful I have survived emotionally with the loss of the boys’ mother and found footing to raise them. Without help in the beginning and then later a new person who would later become my wife. And I’m lucky to be where I am in this life because I worked hard to mentally and physically break through the dark clouds of fear and the unknown of my future.   I fought my way through times I thought I could never do it on my own because I was too weak and insecure in my position in life. My whole world was caving in on me. But being a victim never suited me. And I broke through to the other side, albeit scathed, battered, and bruised, but nevertheless, I learned. And I lived through it all to become wiser, calculated, and humbled.  

The end of the decade brought me a wife and a new son, Blake, who taught me that life will move on with or without me. So, I choose to live. And in choosing to live, I can always say I was true to myself by being the same ole me. 

A new decade is beckoning. Challenges, heartache, and loss will occur on this new journey into 2020 and beyond.   But there will also be good times, learning moments, celebrations, and growth. Starting with the birth of a new son in May of 2020. Giving me 4 boys. 

I made it. 2019 is gone. The decade is gone. But I have persevered and won my way into a new decade. A new beginning, a fresh start. But I’ll never forget how I got here. New year, new me? Nah,  It was by being the same ole me. 


*** I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. May your new year and decade bring you good health and fortune. I thank you all for being a part of my growth and look forward to what’s yet to come. 2020!! On a personal note. 2020 is off to a great start. I have a new son due in May 2020. 4 boys. I’m very fortunate. Thank you, God. 


Captain Imperfecto and son Blake backpacking it in Madrid, Spain. December 29, 2019

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