The 4th of July, 2018
So much for being frugal! I just bought fireworks for my kids. It seems that the purchase of fireworks is an attempt to appear swanker than everyone else. First of all, the store is jammed packed. I could hardly move down the aisles. I don't dare leave my shopping cart unattended because it would be gone as quickly as a bottle rocket launched into the air.
I can't believe this feeding frenzy over gunpowder and pretty lights. How about just purchasing a kaleidoscope? Everything is buy one get one, free. How about we buy and get more at our local grocery store?
I suppose we, as Americans, are doing our patriotic duty to celebrate our country's Independence. And hey, if you're going to celebrate, our motto is to go big or go home. Haven't you seen the gratuitous MTV's My Sweet Sixteen? And this is just reaching the age of 16. We are talking about a 240-year-old celebration! We are way past a Quinceañera. And way beyond a young man's Bar Mitzvah. I think there is a tortoise out there that is the same age as our Independence. Let us celebrate that!
If Congress really wants me to celebrate America's birthday in grand style, how about passing legislation to make Independence Day on the first weekend of July! Trust me, I will not forget our Independence because it isn't on the 4th. When I'm BBQ my burgers and dogs, sipping my beer, or hosting my party, I'll still find the time to woot out; happy 4th of July! Even if it is the 2nd of July.
I am grateful to be part of a nation that cares for others. I am honored that my dad served in Vietnam because he was drafted and didn't abscond. I am fulfilled because I did my own service for my country and continue to serve my local government. Since I am patriotic, I should stop stressing out and overspending money on things that go boom at night.
My essay outburst is due to the hordes of people inside this firework store grabbing anything with a fuse hanging out the bottom. IT. IS. UTTER. CHAOS. And the utter chaos is stressing me out. Thank gosh, I'm not naked, or they'd pull my fuse.
Truthfully I'm just pissed at myself because I know that this $81.00 I'm spending on these projectiles is the equivalent of a wealthy person throwing a bundle of cash in a fireplace to keep myself warm.
O' say, can I see? We hold these truths as self-evident, Purple Mountain majesty, and the bombs bursting in the air. America. It is my country, and I am proud of it! Did I say 81 dollars? Get out of my way, people. I'm going for 100!
Happy 4th of July and Independence of America!
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