Foundation

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Nico (left) and Christopher 

November 25, 2015

Trying to figure out these two kids psyches is a fun game of chess. Both my boys are beginning to emerge with their own personalities and interests so, as their dad, I’m trying to balance both of them with my own ideas of life as a lay a foundation that they will build upon through their own experiences.

Thankfully, I’m a moral person because at this stage of their life, my influence, has a direct weaving pattern as their fibers intertwine and mold their mental strength that will dictate what kind of people they will be in society.

I try to break them down when they’re strong, but not break them down to the point where they don’t stand on their own feet. I tell them “no” when appropriate but allow them some leeway on certain “no” to allow them to feel as if they some empowerment.

I don’t want to bully them because I don’t want them to be a bully to someone else however, if they succumb to my bullying will that submission allow someone else to bully them as they age? Because I won’t allow that.

I was bullied. Not by one individual over and over. I was bullied as if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Mostly while I attendant school. I was punched in the face, once, for no reason while I was in 6^th grade. It happened when school ended and I was walking home. Then on another occasion I was attacked and beat up in the eighth grade during 6^th period history class. The substitute teacher never “saw anything.” Also in the eighth grade I was almost robbed of my silver necklace my mom gave me. I was going to the restroom in between class breaks. I was able to push the robbers hand back as he attempted to grip my neck. The principal intervened. The 3 guys were gang members. Thankfully it was the last week of school and I didn't have to go back.

I never defendant myself because I wasn’t given the lessons by my parents, at my young age, on how to defend myself with words. I didn't understand that it was my right to feel empowered by saying no, don't touch me. I just coward down and took it.

These are life lessons from my experiences that didn’t scar me by making me timid or allow the incident to define a race, gender, or culture. I just vowed that I would get better and more confident and I did with each incident being a life lesson. I learned that no one cares about me more than myself, so I needed to make changes, that made me more confident with myself.

My goal as a dad is to give my boys’ the tools and lessons, now, so that they won’t need the “on the job” training that I had when dealing with a bully. I made it my mission to empower my kids early and to be morally responsible, compassionate, gentlemen but also to realize that there is a time to be nice and then a time not to be nice.

As these boys grow into men I hope that I have instilled in them the confidence a young mind needs to be successful. They may be 2 individuals but they are learning from their dad’s mindset, which is a great foundation to their life.

I would like to wish the many people out there who celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving, November 26, 2015, a very Happy Thanksgiving. The holiday has evolved from when we learned about the first day the Pilgrims ate with the Indians to a time many of us to give thanks for all that we have.

I like to give many thanks to my boys’ and to a certain someone who has taught me to live again, I love you all very much. I also would give thanks, that my family, will spend time together which is more precious now as time goes by because we are all getting older.

And to all of you a heartfelt thank you for continuing to read my blogs and watch my boys’ grow through the past years and the future. Thanks for being a part of it all; you are all thought of this time of year. May everyone be safe, live long, and find peace.

Captain Imperfecto celebrating a good day.

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