Time after time, I think I healed myself mentally, but then I think of you and remember why sunny days sometimes feel blue. I may laugh and see the lighter things in life now that I have some time and distance between your death and my reality, but you're always one memory away.
Time after time, day after day, your life still hasn't receded as an afterthought because your spirit still resonates among the ones who knew you best. The ones who love you miss your smile, laugh, and humor. Your spirit is the one thing that the tides of life can not pull back into the abyss of the deep blue sea of oblivion.
Time after time, through movement and sound, I sometimes think I catch your glimpse from the corner of my eye or hear your voice from a far-off distance, only to realize that you aren't there. When I think there is nothing left to believe in, one of your sons comes to me and hugs me, and then I realize you are indeed here.
Time after time, week by week, I hear your voice inside my head telling me to live in the now. I hear your soft tones say, "Slow down, be calm, and allow life to move me along peacefully." Your voice brings me tranquility, like the sight of the falling rain, and I take life in to help me grow while I remember all the things we loved to share and the sights we loved to see.
Time after time, day after day, week after week, month after month, time moves on, and you're not here. Your boys miss your touch, your motherly love, the smell of your clothes, and the warmth of your breath. They need their mom, but they somehow make it through the months without you. It is the best they can in the best way any child who doesn't have their mom could.
Time translates to days, which turn into weeks, which morph into months, and which give birth to New Year. Now, I'm facing a whole new year without you here with us and another year without me, and I look into another year yet to come. Time will run until my time here on earth is done. I hope to see you later in another time and place. Where we can talk about the kids and life again. Hear about your journey and learn to love us again.
No more thinking to myself that you were here, on earth, this time last year, being a loving mother to your sons. No more knowing that this time last year, I knew I could call you. No more remembering the good times and bad times we shared over the past 14 years because this day will overshadow any day because March 15th marks the day you went away.
And that is a fact that I will have to live with time after time, day after day, month after month, into the following years of my life.
Until we meet again.
511 words
The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto © is also a Registered Copyright with the Office of the Registers, United States of America, TX 7-611-138
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