"Born to be Wild"

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Left to right: Nico, Captain Imperfecto and Christopher

January 7th, 2013

"Born to be Wild"- lyrics by Mars Bonfire Song by- Steppenwolf

When I heard the knock at my hotel door, I knew, before I even opened it, it was trouble. 

Vroom, vroom. 

"Get your motor runnin', head out on the highway, lookin' for adventure and whatever comes our way"

My sons just received their Christmas presents. Two battery powered four wheelers, and those gifts were standing upright on the rear wheels, against the outside wall to make space in the tight hotel hallways so passing guests could walk-by. Also, it allowed more space in our room so they kids could play and wreck havoc among the twin queen beds and pillows of our themed room. 

The boys and I walked outside our room to leave and enjoy our Disney magic and Christmas fun, when suddenly, I realized I forgot the room key on the table. So I quickly turned back and stopped the door from closing on us, to re-enter the room, when from the corner of my eye, I witnessed the boys helping each other lower the cars on all four wheels. 

"Hey! No, no no!" I shout. 

By then it was too late. They were halfway across the beautifully manicured Disney Resort lawn and their cars rotating plastic wheels were running over the strategically placed plants and beautiful landscaping.

"WAIT!"

"Yeah darlin' go make it happen. Take the world in a live embrace fire all you guns at once and explode into space."

I followed the grooves in the grass that the four wheels left engraved in the moist soil from an early morning dew. The grass was as low and as smooth as a putting green. I was following their path of destruction traveling over the mulch and trampled even more flowers, as I tried in vain to get those boys within my grasp.

"Hey kids look out!" I over heard one resort guest shout, while jumping into a nearby garden fountain's ledge and just as quickly slipping in, accidentally.

"Looks cold," I quipped as I ran by. 

The boys figured out how to take the four wheelers out of low gear and slip the battery into high capacity mode. I didn't know if during this sprint and at the time of my exhaustion, if I should be impressed with their ingenuity or upset because I just couldn't keep up with their pace any longer.

I was just focused on following the carnage they left behind them on there four wheeled chaos spree. 

“I like smoking lightening, heavy metal thunder racing with the wind and the feeling that I'm under”

I started to jog at a slow pace in order to keep some kind of pace with them. The only time I truly knew I was close was when I heard shrieks from people as the 2 of them drove by people who were walking the paths of this once quiet resort.

“Have you seen 2 boys on four wheelers,” I asked a couple.

I was exasperated. I could only place my hands on my knees and suck in the cool air, so my lungs could gain wind back in my tired body, as I continued my pace with the boys.

“Well yeah,” the happy Disney guest said. "They went that way,” he said pointing to a bridge that arched over the waterway leading to the pool area.

“Thanks!” I shout as I begin to run.

“No problem,” he said. “You might want to rethink their gifts! Merry Christmas!”

"Like a true nature's child we were born, born to be wild, we can climb so high, I never wanna die."

I reach the pool area where I noticed fully clothed people in the pool.

That can’t be good- I think to myself.

“Hey you,” the lifeguard shouts as he pulls a Disney guest from the pool. “You looking for 2 boys on four wheelers?”

“Ummm, no”

I jog past the pool and back on the path of freedom my boys rode off on. I was still frantically searching for them. I suck in all the air I can get. When suddenly my ears pick up a sound that is almost music like. It is the sound of spinning tires. Nico, my oldest son at 4, got his car caught in the bushes. He couldn’t get it out in time before my arrival. Thankfully, his brother was waiting for him. When I finally caught up to the both of them, my youngest son, Christopher at 3, got off his bike and tried to help free his brothers motorized machine. 

“Back!” I shout, “back, to the room!”

I finally was able to wrangle them and corral them over to the front door of our hotel room. I was exhausted. All my energy wasted from the big chase. I brought the kids into the room so I could change into fresh clothes. They were giggling with delight. 

So now, here I am, standing at the door, being confronted by the Walt Disney staff and their full wrath.

"Hey," I said while I opened the door. 

"Hi there, Mickey guest," she said in a baby voice tone.

She had definitely drank the kool aid of Disney happiness and good cheer. 

"Are those your little battery operated four wheelers driving around the resort?" she asked. 

"Yes," I said in a dead pan. 

I dabbing the beads of sweat from my face. She didn't have to explain to me why she was there. I knew why she was standing before me. The whole resort knew why she was standing before me. From the moment they got on those four wheelers I should have known I was in trouble...

"Born to be wild, born to be wild"

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The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto/Born Again by Christopher P. Fusaro is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Based on a work at christopherfusaro.blogspot.com.

The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto ©  is also a Registered Copyright with the Office of the Registers, United States of America, TX 7-611-138