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My Girls are Gone Forever but I Will Always Love You

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October 5th, 2012

They were our daughters. We saw them grow each week from the second we saw them lying side-by-side in the womb to the moment the ultrasound technician showed us their faces on the monitor; we knew that they would always be a part of us. A part of her.

Six years have passed, and yet, there will be years seven and eight without knowing who you were outside, the life you saw inside, and your mom's womb. And now your mom is gone, too. She is in heaven, holding you the way I had you the day you were lost forever. I hope the warmth we transferred to you through our love and care is now being given to you by your mom as you gaze down upon me from heaven.

Although you aren't here for me to watch you grow, you have grown in my mind, soul, and dreams. 

Gabriella, I hold you close. I run my hands through your hair and see your mother in your eyes. I rub your face and kiss your nose. I love you as I did the first day I held you in my arms, the same as the last day I had to give you back forever. 

Sophia, I hold your hand and rub your fingers and toes, which look like your mom's. I kiss your cheeks and rub my hands along your face. Your green eyes are as beautiful as your dad's. A space in my heart will always be hollowed out the day I handed you (both) to the nurse.

Time has passed, but the thought of you will be everlasting until it is my turn to leave this earth. No matter how many people tell me about the healing power of time, the days and months turn into years. Your memory still brings me to tears, while others have forgotten you as these years will eventually multiply into decades, proving that the one and only true thing about time is that it waits for no one. How cruel it can be.

Your birthday's here, and there isn't cake, no wishes to make, or toys waiting for you this morning when you wake. But I know you're in good hands in heaven because Mom is there to open the gift of love, just as it would be if we were all here together celebrating your day with good old-fashioned laughter, cheer, and a little happy birthday song, that you'd have to sit and listen until it was done.

The years have passed without you here, but you will always grow into the beautiful lady I knew you'd always be. Now, you have your mom to celebrate this new year.

Until I see you, just remember, you are always here in my heart.

With Love.

Happy 6th birthday Sophia and Gabriella 
October 5th, 2006

473 words

 






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Comments

  1. Dragonfly76October 5, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    Happy birthday to two sweet angels. I see them in Heaven with your wife watching over them while they play with my Jonathan...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Irish GriffithOctober 5, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    My daughter would have been turning 17 on November 25th. Thoughts of your little angels will always bring you to tears, but over time a sense of peach WILL settle upon you, and the tears will be bittersweet- a combination of knowing you are missing a piece of your heart, but a knowledge that you WILL be together again someday. And in that day, your girls will hold you tight because they know the love you have for them in their absence from this world, even though they aren't here on earth with you. It's hard, and in some ways it will get a bit easier, but not in all ways. Just remember~ always remember~ because the best honor we can do for those we love is to remember them in our minds and hearts. My heart goes out to you and your boys...

    ReplyDelete

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