The decision to get away for the day happened fast. I had set up house rules, but the kids had other ideas. The thought of forty- eight hours of rule-breaking and educating them on the rules over and over to reaffirm them made my weekend uneasy.
"Okay, guys, let's go get dressed. We are going for a drive," I announce.
The boys ignore me while playing with their cars in their little world and making rules.
"Guys. Want to go bye-bye," I said with a soft tone.
Like dogs hearing the dog food hit the bowl at dinner time, they jumped into action and mugged me while I sat on the couch.
"Now I got your attention, let's get dressed, all of us," I say because going for a drive in boxer shorts and diapers wasn't going to fly.
I manage to get both boys dressed and in their car seats; boy, am I getting better at this, and then I scurry about the house, grabbing whatever I think we will need, just in case I decide to stay somewhere other than home, later that evening.
Sniff- Clean
Sniff- Eh, will do
Sniff- nope
I throw what I can, mainly in the diaper bag I bought with a manly man appeal, and use a green-friendly Wal-Mart bag for the rest of the clothes. There are rules when it comes to being eco-friendly to the environment. I shove what I can in the bag, and I think, boy, do I need a nice duffle bag.
I jump in the van and seat belt myself in. I look over my shoulder at my boys.
"Everyone still strapped in?" I announce, "There are rules that say you must wear those seat belts."
With that final announcement, I drove down the road towards northbound I-95, a major east coast interstate, for our trip to the Orlando area. And, of course, on this two-and-a-half-hour drive, I obeyed all the traffic rules that Iwasm required me to follow. Even as the other drivers in their cars around me broke them.
The boys were preoccupied with the DVD player while I drove in an almost straight line with no idea where I was going. I was breaking the travel rules without an itinerary, but who cares about road trips? You are supposed to be spontaneous. On our journey, I decided to stay at a Walt Disney Resort.
I called customer relations, booked Disney hotel rooms, and spoke to a lovely lady with classic Disney style. It made me feel good.
"Hi, I know you have rules when booking a reservation," I said to Mindy, the Disney representative, "however, I decided to make a last-minute trip. Do you have a room available?"
And with some Disney magic, we had a room in a nice resort with a heavy toll to pay. I was hoping it would be worth it.
After we settled in, I got the boys dressed for the pool. Before arriving at the aquatic entertainment, I decided to feed the boys even though there are rules that warn people about eating and swimming soon after.
"I know you guys will hardly eat, but always obey the rules and wait for the food to digest before swimming," I said to them as if they knew what I was talking about. Hell, even I don't know why that is a rule.
After our quick meal, it was time to have fun in the sun and enjoy Disney magic in the pool. It was a beautiful late afternoon. The sky was a bright blue, and the clear blue sky surrounded this piece of earth as if God had his arms around us. The sun was shining but soft enough for the rays to gently touch our skin. The breeze was nice, sufficient to fan the heat that absorbed into our flesh, and the people were friendly like you would hope to find in a perfect world. You couldn't ask for a better day.
"Rules!" I hear a voice shout out of nowhere, shaking me out of nirvana.
"We have rules, sir." I look around as if it were a voice from the heavens chastising me.
I then spot a young lifeguard looking in my direction. I then looked around to see if he was talking to me until finally, I just yelled out loud for the entire pool party to hear.
"ME!" as I point to myself with my index finger.
"Yes, you," the angry lifeguard proclaimed, "You can not toss your kid in the pool; it's against the rules, and you, sir, did it twice," he said, calling me out in the sea of many.
"Yes, you're right. I tossed my kids in the pool," being the proud daddy I am.
"Well, you can not throw them in the pool. We have rules, observe them," the lifeguard said.
"Oh, I just saw the rule that says no diving, which we didn't do," I told him stoically.
"Well, sir, everyone has rules, and so does Mickey Mouse, so no jumping, diving, kicking, hopping, skipping, flipping, using your shoulders as a springboard, cannon balls, jack knives, tossing, grabbing, or any function that entails throwing your kids," he said in one breath.
I stared at him, got out of the pool, and went to my lounge chair.
"Sir, you don't have to leave, you know, just state the rules," he told me with a softer tone.
"No, you're right, you're right," I said. "I forgot to put on sunblock. The rule is you should use over SPF 50," I said proudly, displaying the tube of sunblock that I applied to my kids before leaving the hotel room.
"Excellent, sir," the lifeguard said, "Did you also know you should apply the sunblock a half hour before getting wet?"
Damn, I didn't catch those rules. Well, rules are rules.
978 words
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