The Adventures of Captain Imperfecto

You are here: Home » Lessons in Dog Years Christopher (left), Captain Imperfecto, Nico Training Grounds February 23, 2015 My face is changing. When did I morph into this thing I stare at the mirror every day? The only things in this world that don't notice my changes are my kids and my dogs. To them, I will live forever. I remember when my parents seemed invincible. One day, when I was about 10, I discovered that all things die. You see, we had a beautiful Afghan dog named Raja. One day after arriving home from elementary school, I saw Raja lying on the backyard's green grass. In fact, he was sleeping in the greenest spot in the entire yard. However, my dog never came to greet me when. Raja never walked into the kitchen to lick up the crumbs that fell off my afterschool snack. Oddly, Raja was ignoring me. I walked towards the large sliding glass doors. I pressed my head against the glass and peered at my dog behind my imaginary force field. I tapped the glass, hopin...

You are here: Home » Green Thumb Left to right: Nico, Christopher, Captain Imperfecto remodeling house February 18, 2015 The birth of children and raising them, such as my boys, is like planting little seedlings that will eventually grow into vigorous, rooted, grown-up plants. Do I need a green thumb to raise my children? Only if raising them was as simple as adding water to their little souls, which are embedded beneath the soil of a flowerpot. Allow photosynthesis to occur for their developing efflorescence. Provide them with light and minerals for solid growth, and wallah! My boys are all grown up as quickly as plants. And with some care, nurturing, sunshine, water, and food, they have shot up over these past few years. So much so that Nico is already towering his little head above the dining room table. What a growth spurt these two have had over the last few years. "Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant!" A throwback to that old commercial about Green Giant frozen vegetabl...

You are here: Home » Happy Valentine's Day Christopher and Captain Imperfecto February 13, 2015 This is a satire It’s Saint Valentines Day, February 14 th , for many people around the world who will be celebrating that little bastard…err cherub. Why is it only Christmas that has one miserable old man, Ebenezer Scrooge? For, Saint Valentine’s Day, has so many more miserable people, at all ages, who will just say the same thing that old geezer has been saying for a century on the Christmas holiday, “Bah! Humbug!” Maybe you’re single, in a divorce, crappy relationship, or just not happy with who you are with. Being uninterested or uninteresting can make a lot of people feel unhappy. So we should all start by loving ourselves. That is right! You have tolerated yourself for years! When, maybe, others couldn’t tolerate you for decades. So why not celebrate all things you this Valentine’s Day? Buy yourself some chocolate. Go eat some ice cream. Find some flower ven...

You are here: Home » The Competition Nico and Christopher February 9, 2015 I hear a ruckus that startles me from my sleep. The pounding of feet on my wood floors can be heard throughout the house. I’m scared shitless. I’m afraid to move in the slightest, so much so, that I don’t even blink.  I know that hiding under my white covered down comforter isn’t going to save me however, it doesn’t stop me from trying to slowly cover my face with the very movement I’m trying to avoid. My thinking is if I can hide myself, maybe if I stay hidden, I won’t be found by anything or anyone. That whoever or whatever is just beyond my bedroom door, will just go away. My heart races fast as it pounds in my chest as I begin to slide the cover over my face. I’m sure the beating of my heart can be heard a mile away making coving my face a moot point. Surely, my beating heart is going to give me away anyhow. The blood is coursing through my veins and I start to perspire as if I was runni...

You are here: Home » No Expiration Date Front: Nico and Christopher on their new bikes January 21, 2015 The other day, I was talking to a man while we stood in line at a convenience store. I struck up the conversation by commenting how funny I thought his son was grabbing all the candy from the shelf for his father to buy. "How old is   your son," I asked. "He's 2," the proud father announced. "I can't even remember my kids being 2; they are only 5 and 6!" I said. And that statement is so true. I zoned out while I waited my turn to buy my sandwich and thought about my sons at the age of 2, and for the life of me, I could not recall them at that age. It is as if the three years passed were so long ago.  I felt terrible that the age of 2 might come across as insignificant. It's incredible how much time can cross your mind when you're the third person standing in line to purchase your items from a gas station store. At my son...

You are here: Home » Sightseeing. Captain Imperfecto, Washington, DC January 13, 2015 HAPPY NEW YEAR! How many times do we take the time to observe people on our vacation?  There were so many faces around me during my 6-state cold-weather vacation, about 1,000 miles away from my home, back in Florida. When I write that, I think, “Damn, it’s nice to get away from the constant, warm sunny Florida days to visit the cold in late December.” And it’s true. On this trip, I interacted with so many people daily that I wondered if I would ever reencounter them. They were alive and well before I met them, and I’m assuming they are alive and well today. However, they are so far away, and I don’t even know their names, so they might as well be long gone. The list goes on and on of all the people I encountered on this Thelma and Louise ordeal, of people behind the scenes that didn’t involve isolated witnessing a spectacular monument or breathtaking scenery. The interactions with p...

You are here: Home »Bye-Bye, 2014 Left to right: Captain Imperfecto, Nico and Christopher lazy day. December 27, 2014 Will my kids remember anything of 2014? They're just 5 and 6. So much has happened this year, but the only thing that was important to them was their 100-yard safety zone, which expanded the circumference of the house. "Dad, where's the boat?" Daddy, what happened to the boat?" "Daddy, is the boat broken?" That may be my quote of the year. It's good to know that in my boy's short life span, the only concern for them is the horror of the boat being gone. Just to remind you. This year, I invested in a 30-foot boat. It's a money pit for some but a lifestyle for us. But there were other terms used by my boys this year. "Daddy, shut up." "No, daddy." "Leave me alone, daddy!" This has been the year of sitting down and trying to talk or even compromise with my boys instead of applying corp...