Confined to my wheelchair, I feel depressed and upset that I can't participate in many things that people who can walk take for granted. The plastic of my seat sticks to my skin. I can't move around objects without worrying that I will knock something over. And people just don't know what to do when I'm around. Do they help me? Do they not help me? They are so confused. Yes, help me.
Every year, my Christmas wish is to lift myself off this steel frame and walk under my own power. What I wouldn't give to feel the blades of grass tickle the bottom of my feet. I'm sure I would giggle. Was it due to the grass or the excitement of walking? Christmas seems so right to ask for this special gift because of the magical atmosphere around me. And yet, every Christmas will pass, and I know I will still be stuck in my wheelchair. But that won't persuade me not to ask next year again.
Desperate to have my wish come true, I went to see the mall Santa. I told him, "All I want to do is walk for a brief moment."
He said, "Well, young man, Santa can't work miracles, but I sure will try to accommodate you."
But years went by, and it never happened. Once, I thought my wish wouldn't count because I wasn't sitting on his lap. So, the following year, I went back to see Santa at that mall and demanded that his elves pick me up from my chair and place me on his lap. "Santa cannot work miracles," he quipped, "nevertheless I will try again. I don't want to disappoint you. Although I think ultimately you can only be disappointed with me."
I left my mall Santa sad and depressed. With all my strength, I wheeled my chariot down the sidewalk onto 23rd Street and to the top of Katherine Bridge. I did not expect to come back. I stopped my wheelchair close to the edge. The water did not move or even ripple. It was as if the mighty river held its breath. Not ready for another jumper. "It's okay, water," I said. "I can't even jump."
Staring at the black water below me, I thought that no one or anything was going to help me. There was no such thing as a miracle to make things better for me. The air was cool and crisp. My ears felt as numb as my legs. It was so cold. Christmas Eve was happening without me. Another year in this chair. I can't bear it. The black sky gave way to a glimmer of something shining from the top down. I
"What are you doing there, any of the bridge," a voice spoke to me in the cool breeze.
"Oh, I don't know. Just thinking. Thinking about my life."
"What are you thinking about?" The subtle little boy's voice asked.
I looked around, trying to find out where the mysterious voice was coming from, and up in the rafters of the bridge amongst the twinkling lights of the far-out stars, there was a miracle of Christmas. I knew who it was. The voice was the one thing I had longed to hear through all my prayers.
The miracle of Christmas wasn't really a shape or form. I felt peace and serenity surround me, and suddenly, I felt safe. This mysterious voice came a long way from the spirit of Christmas up from above in the land of Christmas.
"I really want to walk," I started. "I want to take advantage of what people take for granted daily. Every year, I wish and pray to stand on my own legs. And every year, I don't get it."
"This will make your life complete?"
"It would be a start."
The wind twirled around me rapidly like a tornado. Like hands, the wind lifted me out of the chair and spun me around. The night turned to day. I was walking amongst the people. I was dancing on the water. Running on the riverbanks. I floated in the air as my toes danced on the grass below. My footprints were left in the sand. A trail of one foot after another footprint tracked my path of pure ecstasy.
"Are you in pure joy?" the voice of Christmas asked.
"Yes," I shouted with glee.
"Did you hear the children's laughter as you strolled through the park?"
"No."
"The wind blowing off the lake onto your face as you stood on that riverbank.
"Did you taste the eggnog as you sipped it at the party? Or enjoy the candy cane when you walk through the Christmas tree lot? Did you watch the ocean's waves fill in your footprints as the water flowed onto the shore?
This walking is a one-time event. This is your Christmas miracle. But it only lasts for this day. But sadly, you will return to where you were at this time of your life. Miracles don't last forever."
I was sad. This wasn't going to last. But I realized all the things that I had but took for granted. The Christmas miracle woke me up to what I had forgotten. I may be stuck in a wheelchair, but there was so much I could do, even in my chair. I just needed to pay attention. I was so angry at everything else I failed to see what I had.
I was whisked back to my chair. And my Christmas miracle was over. I wheeled myself away from the edge of the bridge and allowed gravity to roll me down to the bottom. I had a new perspective on life and was happy I could live again to see another Christmas.
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