It's time to move forward and blog about life's journeys, discoveries and my short stories I have always wrote.
I will always be Captain Imperefecto because I lead an imperfect life.
November 19th, 2012 I was never much of a drinker. Consuming alcohol never did anything for me in regards to taste. I had to drink more just to tolerate the rest of the drinking I would be doing for the entire night. So, when I started drinking with my friends when I went out, I would be able to tolerate the taste of the excessive drinking I found myself doing.
Recently, I began to search for a good drink to unwind. I would experiment with different types of adult beverages in hopes to find the right one that would give me a buzz without really knowing I was getting buzzed.
Not that I’m drowning my sorrows away. And not that I would admit to something like that here. But I needed something to tolerate life’s brutality and lack for sympathy. I feel this weight on the bottom of my stomach and it's this boulder of anguish festering deep within myself. That agitation would begin to build up through my large framed structure. Working its way into my emotions and spilling out into my world’s frustration of life.
Everyone searches for that relief in that unreality world of your reality. Whether it is found in a bottle, movie screen, book, 2 halves of a sport, or God there is a need to escape from yourself into a world where you don’t have to be yourself at least for a few moments anyhow.
For me, I want to find that oceans wave that lifts me up and pulls me to the sunset of a closing day as the sun sinks itself into the far off reaches of the water. The salt water spray, attaches its self to my lips. I slightly push my tongue out and taste the saltiness of the air.
I want to view the world from a mountain top where the cold air teases my senses and the sensations wakes up my lungs. I want the thin air to take my breath away as I view the valleys down below and witness the centuries it took life to carve out a notch in it’s skin to allow people to rest in the folds of her loving arms from the shelter of their homes.
I want to drive in a convertible car down the winding roads of Malibu. To sit on the rock walls and overlook the end of the solid ground of earth as it is swallowed in the surf of the Pacific Blue Ocean of the west coast.
To hang glide above the ground and be between heaven and earth. The feeling of flight as I hover over the land that I had only seen at ground level or encapsulated in a jets metal fuselage. The wind pushing me up and down as I slice through the wind. The exceleration of a free fall from a kite making me happy as I giggle uncontrollably in the freedom of flight.
To get lost from my world of reality and see the earth in a different light is the goal of many no matter how good life has been for them. To live life to its fullest and to day dream of what can be and lose yourself in the moment is golden.
I sit here and dream. I dream of feeling good and overcoming my short falls. Instead of searching for it in a bottle of rum. Grab the bottle with the ship inside and use your imagination of helping it escape from its tomb of glass. Jumping aboard and sailing off into the sunset towards your happy ending.
Short term happiness is there somewhere. It’s in your computer wallpaper or screensaver, the default picture on your Facbook or lock screen on your iPhone, your zen is there you just have to imagine your life in that moment.
Find it. Search for it. Embrace it. And live your life in those moments that bring you relief and happiness. Even if its for a short time.
To hang glide above the ground and be between heaven and earth. The feeling of flight as I hover over the land that I had only seen at ground level or encapsulated in a jets metal fuselage. The wind pushing me up and down as I slice through the wind. The exceleration of a free fall from a kite making me happy as I giggle uncontrollably in the freedom of flight.
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