Life moves around me as I stare at my kids playing among the other children in the water park. It's life in full effect. The little boys and girls play without a care or worry in this world. God, I miss feeling that way. It's innocence at its best. At my age, all I can do is think back at my childhood life and fondly remember when things were this easy. When the only worry I had was trying to stay out of summer school. But today, for these children, there isn't care in this world.
The sun is beating down on us relentlessly in this open playground. I'm only brought back to reality when the cool water splashes along my ankles from the water cannons that are mounted nearby. The coolness shocks my internal system as the water quenches my sun-dried skin, sending tingles up my leg. I revert my attention to the playing children that are having a blast, and being kids, I seek out my own, on the crowded splash pad.
My eyes scan left to right feverishly, looking for the bright orange shirt Christopher (my three-year-old son) is wearing. Found him! Just as I begin to look for Nico )My oldest at four), he runs up and spits water in Christopher's face that he collected in his mouth as the water cascades down from a T-shaped metal pole, spurting water at a high rate of speed. I can't help but laugh. About the only time I smile nowadays.
The parent seating area has benches set up like in an arena. They surround the splash pad-like seats around a tennis court. Above the seats is a shading, but if my skin could talk, it would tell you it isn't enough. Around us are tall wood panels, about four inches wide, stretching up high in the sky, like trees sprouting out of the concrete. The wood planks form a fortress, a labyrinth with tunnels, stairs, and things that light up and make noises throughout its intimidating exterior. It's not only a kid's paradise. Parents can summon their inner child from within to play and tag along with their children. Which I gladly do when my sons beckon me.
My glances go from my kids to the parents seated around me. I find myself examining them. Are they happy? What's going on in their life? I know I am not the only one in pain. It comes to us all in one form or another. Whether it's the loss of a spouse, loved one, dog or friend, or sadly even a child. Other problems are financial means, unhappiness, and depression. No one truly knows who the internal us is, but I sit and stare, trying to figure out the ones before me by piercing through their exterior and into their soul.
But in my quest for understanding, I realize one thing we all have in common now. We are all smiling. We find joy in our kids as our little ones splash and run around us. Right now, we are one and the same. We are parents.
I lean forward from my seat, placing my elbows on my knees and my hands hovering between my legs. I rub them together and look up at the beautiful blue sky. I squint my eyes to try and squeeze some of the sun's rays out as the beams pour into my corneas before I have to look away. The mist from the water refreshes me as it attaches itself to my body. The lingering mist floats in the air like snow on a winter day. It's as close to snow as I'll ever get living in Florida.
It's a beautiful day today. It's that kind of day that makes you miss the ones you love because you want them to share such a wonderful moment. But then I realized that my loved one was with me at that moment. Everything making me smile proves that Mimie, the mother of my boys and deceased wife, is with us, surrounding us in this moment.
She is reaching down from the blue heavens above through the sun's beams, providing warmth to my skin. She is the mist on my body, cooling me down from a hot summer's day. She is the giggles swirling around her children as the laughter bounces off the walls around us. She is the love they feel and the joy they have as they frolic through the streams of water. She is the hydrogen in the droplets blessing her children, drenching them with love from head to toe. She has been here with them since we arrived. She is with her boys. She is alive and thriving in my children's life. Her life goes on because we go on for her.
800 words.
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I lost my brother this past Feb and I feel like I see him often when I am out running. I think he is in the birds that are mocking me trying to get me to run faster. I know... I am totally crazy! But I have been running for three years now and have never seen them until after he passed away. That is where I like to see him :)
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