It's time to move forward and blog about life's journeys, discoveries and my short stories I have always wrote. I will always be Captain Imperefecto because I lead an imperfect life.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Bye-Bye, 2014
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Let Christmas
Now, as my kids grow bigger each year, I just want Santa Claus to stay a little longer so I may enjoy this time of year again and rekindle the excitment of Chrismas morning. And maybe slow down my and their aging. I know Christmases haven't been the same since their mom died and it never will. But we have to make new traditions as well as keeping her memory alive in the spirit of Christmas.
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- See more at: http://captainimperfecto.com/blog_details.php?blog_id=227#sthash.iH7PUo4G.dpufFriday, December 5, 2014
Deaths Indigestion inside my Mind
December 5, 2014
I woke up at 4 A.M. early Friday morning. It was the day after Thanksgiving, and my stomach still had the overwhelming feeling of being full from a whole day's worth of overeating. Due to that overeating, I thought my sudden awakening might have been brought on by indigestion. After all, I did consume two meals from two different households, about six hours apart. That led me to wonder which house chef was at fault for my bad night's sleep.
After mulling around in my mind for around a half hour about the different foods prepared by the other cooks in their respective homes, the faces of my family replaced the pictures of food floating around in my mind.
My sister's face revolved around my memories of turkey and pies. Even though she didn't peer much into the dining room while she prepared a thankful dinner, I still remembered seeing her glance up from her heavy cooking. At the same time, she made final preparations for her signature dishes that we had longed for an entire year. We made brief eye contact. I nodded my head, accompanied by a smile, and then looked away towards both my brothers. They were seated on the couch, not too far from me. Their conversation lingered, and I could capture what they were saying. Like my sense of smell could consume the cooking food from my sister's kitchen.
My oldest brother had an eye on the football game between his conversations about politics and work. My second oldest brother was trying to avoid the game altogether, which is the norm, as he tried to keep the talk about occupational therapy.
All of us are older now, in our 40s; we're a little grayer, with less hair and a little extra weight, yet we still see ourselves as the same kids we grew up with. In that respect, nothing has changed.
I remember us all around the Christmas tree as children, looking through our gifts. It was a time when we still believed in Santa Claus. Of course, it all seemed simpler when we remember our youth now that we are older. We didn't know death or disease. We needed to figure out how the world worked. We were genuinely innocent in a world of pain and heartache.
My attention turned towards our parents. Divorced now for almost 40 years, they still come together to celebrate the holidays with their kids. But now, on this day, they were the ones that seemed different.
My dad, a workaholic, seemed tired, withered, and frail. My mom looked the same in her older age, so I only put her looks into perspective once I added her age.
There was a time when they seemed invincible. That they were going to be around until the end of time. However, tonight, as I lay in bed and ponder, my thought process brought me to the sad realization that, like my grandparents, my parents will pass. My kids will mourn them as I did mine. I won't have a mom and dad like my parents were then. And now, my brothers and sister will age, as my parents did, and we will soon fill their shoes as grandparents, and one day they will mourn our loss. So it goes, the circle of life.
But damn, that justification didn't bring me any peace. It freaked me out. I still have the world at my feet. Just starting the prime of my life. I can do anything I put my mind to. But one day, I will be older than my parents (I'm sparing them the posting of their age since I would like to live a little longer). And there are so many questions I have. Are they scared now more than ever about the ending of life? Not that I would ask them something that could sound so insensitive. Their age is up there; they avoided death all their life by not dying in a plane crash, car crash, war (Vietnam), sky diving, drag racing, or bearing children. But now, time and age are catching up to them, and they can't survive aging. But thankfully for them, they seem to be on the path of a long, fulfilling life. And in the grand scheme, isn't that all anyone can ask for?
Do they worry like me? I'm anxious, and I'm not close to their age. Is this a mid-life crisis? Maybe anxious? I have always been nervous when it came to anticipation. I hate not knowing. For instance, I have to see the time, and I can barely get through a YouTube video without anticipating the end of the video. How will I anticipate turning 60, 70, or 80 as I close in on the end of an average life span?!
Laying here wide awake in bed, my mind delved deeper, beyond age and the anticipation of death, but I looked into death itself. Holy shit! I'm going to die. I will cease to exist. And life will go on without me. What's beyond death's door? Is death a deep sleep that will awaken us into another life? Is death just a series of endless dreams while I lie in blackness? Or will nothing happen at all? Just a black hole of blankness that I won't even know is there? For example, when I fall into a deep sleep at 9 P.M., open my eyes, and suddenly it's 5 A.M., is that time between eight and eight hours an example of death?
At this moment, I'm alive, but the fact remains that even if I can hide under these covers and not face the day because the thought of dying numbs me with fear, it is right about the time a damn plane could crash through the roof and take me out. And the ironic thing is, I don't even live close to the airport! I guess "When it's your time, it's your time."
Unknowns suck. Unknowns are only known after the fact, and those people who are dead are in the know now. And only they can answer that question. The only thing good about a deep sleep is the experience of quiet peace. However, if there is life after death, where are the billions of people that died before my existence? Why hasn't there been concrete evidence of a loved one's return? Damn, why am I overthinking at 4:23 A.M.
These thoughts make me tremble and shake. The reality of life is that I am alive at this moment, but eventually, my time will come. And no matter how hard I try to figure out where I will be when I die, how I will die, and most importantly, what will happen when I die, I hope that the death of my body will ultimately release my soul into the heavens.
I only wish I could release this indigestion revolving in my mind into the heavens, and maybe I could go back to sleep. But I can't seem to digest a thing.
1,176 words
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Silver Lining Forward
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Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Your Disney Hosts
"Let's do this," I told my boys once we arrived at Walt Disney World yet again. These trips are becoming a right of passage for my boys. And they are sure acting cocky about our frequent visits. They're likely not spoiled due to our Disney trips. Even though I went for my birthday in July, again in August, September, and now this October for Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. After all, this family does hold annual passes, and the intent of the annual pass is to go frequently, isn't it?
The boys are respectful, though, not selfish during these trips; they are polite and friendly and care for those around them, especially guests of Disney World. My boys act as unofficial hosts to the arriving visitors as if these people were visiting our very home. However, when Nico and Christopher walk around any Walt Disney Resort, they act as if they have lived there forever and know a thing they can teach other guests.
"Oh, the pool?" Christopher asks a bewildered guest.
Walk down the path until you see a green pole with a sign that reads Building 1; make a left, a right, follow the path, and then you'll see the gate for the pool."
That was mighty nice of him. If only Christopher knew if those were the right directions to get lost guests to their final destination. However, this was his place, and he was polite and sincere.
"Food?" Nico asks a 9-year-old, "Well, I like the chicken nuggets or pizza. Give me a side of fries and wash it down with Nestle Quick Chocolate Milk. The dining area has the perfect place for those items, but you may like their other variety of choices. More than my own favorites."
Nico may not have said that much to the bored 9-year-old. But he helped out as much as he could regarding his food choice and helping with a hard decision. Albeit choices from a picky six-year-old to a picky 9-year-old may be a losing situation! He still strutted away like he had given good advice and felt like the unofficial Walt Disney World Ambassador. It's like both boys are proud of their Disney lineage.
Disney parks like the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios are where most people want to go. Still, there is so much to do at a Disney resort. I recommend exploring them if you can stay out of the parks for at least one day; I suggest enjoying the hotel for its many amenities.
We stayed at Disney's relatively new Disney Art and Animation Resort on this trip. There was so much my boys wanted to touch and play with as we walked down the life-like Radiator Springs, while the surrounding area felt like Ornament Valley. I felt safe if I turned my back for a second on my boys. I knew they would only go so far due to the stimulation of the cartoon world of Cars, the movie, and its captivation on them in this controlled environment. They also have theme rooms for Finding Nemo, The Lion King, and The Little Mermaid.
The scenery was incredible as we were walking to our rooms. This little slice of earth was transformed from the big screen and placed here by the Imagineers who took it from the minds of Pixar's imagination. This Disney environment could have been like Toon Town if we were in the real life of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Our emotions had that type of feeling that these characters were going to talk any minute!
Instead of Roger Rabbit, we had Lighting McQueen, Mater, Sally, Doc Hudson, Flo, Ramone, Flo, Sarge, and that's just a few. We were in the world of Disney's movie Cars. I wanted these life-like cars that seemed to drive right off the silver screen and onto the resort grounds to speak to us.
The boys were running down the sidewalks painted like an actual roadway from Route 66 to Radiator Springs. I have to admit, though, that I felt like a hypocrite telling the boys to get out of the road when they were playing at home, and here I am, letting them play in a simulated roadway.
My sons, Nico and Christopher, loved it. I loved it. And we enjoyed what this imaginary world gave us because this resort removed us all from the daily dealings of what life has stored for us daily. And forgetting about the world's reality is what anyone can ever ask for. Whether it's a two-hour movie, a quick trip out of town, or a hobby that clears our minds.
Escaping our lives to enjoy our children's lives represents all that we are when we choose to be parents. And why not use our yearly passes to enjoy our children's laughter and remind us what it meant to be young?
Go on, boys, this is your Disney. You're the hosts, so let your imagination run wild, but take me along for the ride. But please make sure, as hosts, I can ride with Lightening McQueen.
849 words
Friday, October 31, 2014
The Halloween Killer, a horror short story
It was Halloween night. The trick or treaters had gone. The bowl by the front door was empty. It was a good sign of a successful Halloween. But the night wasn't over yet. We didn't want it the day to end but we knew we would have to wait another 365 days until the next night of ghouls, would come. So to extend the weaning hours of Halloween night there was one final tale to tell.
It was Halloween night. Kids laughter left the night. Everyone was snug in there house. Seeking safety from the creeps and goblins that remained outside....
Joel knew his time was almost up. There was no way he was going to defeat the killer that he had just witness murder a person. Joel ran as fast as he could after seeing the horrific sight in the hopes he wouldn’t be seen. He even left his best friend, Champ, his loyal dog, behind out of sheer fear.
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Monday, October 20, 2014
The Beast
October 20, 2014
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